Question about relationships...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by DesignerAddic71, Jul 15, 2005.

  1. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    Am I the only person who thinks that its impossible for a man to be head over heels in love?
     
  2. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    no. my ex was. he was really as in love with me as i was with him. too bad it didnt make it through a year of long distance(1200 miles)

    of all the guys ive seriously dated (10 or so 'serisous) he was the only one to really be head over heals.

    im so scared ill never find that again.

    i dont think its impossible, just very very very very rare. :hs:
     
  3. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    :wiggle:

    Head over heels is an understatement for me. :big grin:
     
  4. sipherx

    sipherx Jamesl.info

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Im a guy, my girlfriend and I love each other equally, Infact I tell her all the time I love her more. and this girl has a pretty big defintion of what the amount of love is, trust me there are guys out there that can love a girl more then a girl would love him. Just rare.
     
  5. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    i see guys like you and Red and for some reason I think its just a facade. Like you guys have some alterior motive or something, and are just saying what you think wants to be heard.

    Please dont take that personally, cause thats not how I intended it sound...
     
  6. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    im soooooo in love atm. heh. and she's 3400 miles away
     
  7. slantedvision

    slantedvision The Yellow Lord, FuManChu OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisville, KY
    I think a lot of it has to do with the guy trying to understand which head is going all of the thinking. I dated a few girls where it was such a wonderful feeling, I could have sworn it was love, but then looking back on those relationships, they were honestly more harmful to the kind of person I wanted to be (Some girls would get irritated if I cursed etc etc) and it leaves me wondering if all I cared about was the physical interaction...fuck the personal and emotional compatibility.

    It's really something that's kinda freaked me out of wanting to be in a relationship anymore.
     
  8. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    yeah im not big on relationships myself. the last one i had was over 2 years ago, and i've had so many different experiences with men since then and i dont think i could fall in love myself, let alone believe that a man was sooooo in love with me. its a trust thing i gues....
     
  9. slantedvision

    slantedvision The Yellow Lord, FuManChu OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2005
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisville, KY
    The last girl I was with, she pretty much was the same way. She didn't even believe that "Making Love" was possible, that it was fucking and only fucking. I mean, well, hey, I don't have to worry about any kind of emotional attachment or anything like that, AND I get sex in the process?! SIGN ME UP!!

    Unfortunately, I pretty much always felt that there was something missing in that relationship, and eventually found out that she was a manipulating bitch that was handling me to try and get her through some fraudulant things she was pulling off...

    I want to be in love again, I don't think it's impossible, but for the time being, women are off limits to me until I can really understand what it is I'm feeling most of the time.
     
  10. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    I COMPLETELY understand. Me and my girl were just talking about this yesterday. I have never been loved like she loves me, and sometimes it just seems so fake because it is so much. I truly dont believe it is fake at all, but its just hard for me to comprehend being loved so much.

    If only me and my SO were the ones saying we were in love, id take it with a grain of salt. When her parents, my parents, her friends, my friends, our neighbors, and even perfect strangers come up to us when we are together and make a comment about how 'in love' we look...it makes it real. Just like the other day, we were just taking out the trash from our apt, and a neighbor that we have never even talked to came up and said "wow, you 2 must be inseperable, ive never seen just 1 of you even taking out the trash", comments like that come all the time.

    Its so crazy, because its not just talk. I know what she has sacrificed for me, financially, with her time, with her life...and she knows what I have done for her. We never do things to PROVE our love to each other, we do things just to do them, and then in retrospect we see how much love it showed to do something.

    I cant explain it. Then again I dont know anyone else that goes the time we do without being apart. Its been 8 months since I have had to be away from her. When I am at work, we talk through text messages the whole time. We really miss each other, not that we just say we do.

    I cant explain it really, ive tried, but it doesnt even begin to portray anything!

    To look at her everyday, even after all the time we have had together, and still find something new I love about her, even some voice fluctuation when she says a word differently...id give anything for her, and ive already given everything. And if it all ended today, I wouldnt regret a thing.
     
  11. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    that's pretty much how i am. i dont 'make love'. only 1 time have i looked into a guy's eyes and told him i loved him while we were in bed (that was the guy i was with 2 years ago, who also took my virginity)...hasnt happeend since then.
     
  12. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    then you are missing out on something greater than any word can explain:hs:

    I know how ya feel, or atleast think I do. I have had my share of horrible relationships. Where not only was the relationship itsself bad, but I was cheated on, and then they continued to try to ruin my life. Before me and my SO got together, I litterally hated women. I dont think I could ever do the gay thing, so I just considered myself and A-sexual person. My moto: all girls are just scandalous whores. If I explained more of my past I guess you might understand more, but lets just say I had some very deep hatred for females.

    I honestly dont know what about my SO initially got me interested. We just started out as friends, just was a friend of a friend, we had common interests so she just hung out and we all saw her as one of the guys. Thats kinda wierd to say about the love of my life, but I see her alot differently now. I never thought we would be what we are now though. No complaints!
     
  13. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    The best way to trust someone isnt to put yourself in a situation where you have nothing to lose...

    Its to put yourself in a situation where you have EVERYTHING to lose, and realize that when/if you lose it all...its going to be worth it.
     
  14. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    whoa. could never do that. never.

    you know that stage you were in where you hated females? i think im in that stage with men. i dont hate them though, i just dont trust them.
     
  15. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2001
    Messages:
    14,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    On your Mom!
    i think that depends on what you concider "head over heels". i dont do sappy love letter, but i will do anything for my GF (soon to be wife), and i always try to let her know that.

    how old are you?
     
  16. SICK GUY

    SICK GUY 69, DUDE!!

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2001
    Messages:
    14,943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    On your Mom!
    if you cant learn to trust, you are never going to have a solid relationship. no trust in a relationship means its doomed from the get go. you will spend the whole time making accusations and wondering about all the "what-ifs". you cant worry about that stuff if you ever wanna be happy.
     
  17. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    no i dont mean sappy love letters or any of that gushiness. i mean being so in love with your SO that you would do anything for him/her, that you couldn't picture ur life without them, things like that.

    i'm 20
     
  18. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    why, what do you have to lose? Everything can be replaced, and the things you have to gain majorly outweigh anything you can lose. Im am as logical of a person as they come, I over analyze everything...shit i got my degrees in comp science and math...sometimes you have to take calculated risks.
     
  19. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    hey! whats wrong with sappy love letters?! Nothing better than there being a note on the counter for me before I leave in the morning, or a letter in my jacket. And seeing her face when she finds one I wrote for her is pricesless!!! Don't care what other people think about sappyness though...it makes her happy :big grin:
     
  20. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2003
    Messages:
    5,744
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Earth
    Has nothing to do with sex but rather the person.
     
  21. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    things can be replaced, yes, but scars are everlasting no?
     
  22. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...
    :rofl: nothings wrong with it my dear...

    but just because one writes sappy love letters doesnt mean that they are in love. for me it goes back to that whole facade thing...
     
  23. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    scar tissue is strong too...

    Id rather have the scars from doing something, than the regrets from not. Personal choice I understand, thats just how I am now. Didnt used to be that way, but then realized there was no reason not too.
     
  24. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    true, love letters dont mean you are in love. But its the little things that you notice that really show you that you are loved. Anyone could buy me a motorcycle, go to hawaii with me, spend all thier time with me...but who is going to really go on with such a facade, doing every LITTLE thing to make me happy? The little things mean so much, that is one of the reasons its better every single day. Always something new, some little thing that is done to make each other smile 1 extra time that day :big grin:
     
  25. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    deep in the shadows of my mind...

    every guy who has told me he loved me in the past, even the one who did all the little things, was just looking out for himself. they didnt really mean it. that guy i was with 2 years ago did all those little things. surprise notes, surprise flowers, i had keys to the house and the cars, practically moved in with him (all my stuff was there and i slept there just about every night). what you and your girl have is what i thought me and him had. but that wasnt the case. it was all a facade.

    i just dont think my scars have completely healed yet. i've trusted men in the past and for what? complete heartache. so now i dont get emotionally involved.
     

Share This Page