Question about a man's "ambition" being an attraction switch for women

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jan 23, 2008.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    In my LTR thread, demosnat mentioned how she won't date guys in college without a clear cut plan and desire for what they want to do with their life (ambition).

    So that got me thinking...

    It's no secret that women are attracted to ambitious men, but I want to explore this a bit.

    A woman once told me that she wouldn't date a man who didn't have a job. I asked her "what if he didn't have a job because he retired early and was a multi-millionaire at 30?" She said no, it was attractive to her for a man to have a job.

    At the time, I thought the situation I described to her was so far outside of her reality that she couldn't fully comprehend it... a "blind spot", you could say. But now I'm not so sure.

    I always assumed that women liked ambitious guys because they had a greater chance for success in life and therefore a greater chance for survival and a greater chance of being able to protect the woman.

    But is there something about actually "having a job" that is attractive to women?

    I'm wondering because my goal in life is to retire ASAP. I HATE having to work and the day I can retire, I will. This isn't to say I might not get the occasional job here or there to help other people (which would be self-fulfilling), but I would not "have a job" in the traditional sense.

    My plan is to generate enough passive income (income that you don't have to work for) such that I can a) continue to live the lifestyle I want and b) continue to increase my net worth.

    So let's say, completely hypothetically speaking here, that sometime in my 30s I'm generating $100k a year in passive income. That's enough to live off of comfortably, and it would be coming to me without me having to work. So let's say I stop working because I'm guaranteed $100k per year from passive income. Would that make me unattractive to women? Is it the money, the stability, or the actual act of working itself that is attractive to women?

    Women: would you be more attracted to a guy with a high net worth who makes $100k a year doing nothing, or an "average" financial guy working a normal job and going to work every day making $50-80k a year?
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,866
    Likes Received:
    553
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Obviously, all other things being equal, having money would be attractive.

    But I've seen some pretty hot women with some pretty deadbeat motherfuckers.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    I have, too. I just want to know if having a job is attractive, all else being equal.
     
  4. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    14,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL
    I'm attracted to men who work successful jobs, because you're right, it show ambition, which is a huge turn on for me. While $100k is nothing to turn your nose up on (at least where I am from), if you're pulling that kind of money without working, you better be willing to clean the house, cook dinner, and take care of the kids while I'm working. That's my whole take on it. I couldn't marry a rich man who did nothing but sit around and watch TV all day. Laziness is a huge turn off for me.
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    making 100k passively you will have enough time on your hands to more than compensate for whatever perceived lack of ambition by improving your game.

    it won't matter anyway. what you can use as a DHV, use, what you can't, you can DHV anyway by not being insecure about it and using it as a disqualifier.
     
  6. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    no, it's not necessarily having a job, that's not what i meant when i said ambition. i mean more like not being a lazy slob and being content to sit on the couch all day. if a guy i was with won the lottery and never had to work again i'd be like "awesome", but i'd still expect him to have some activities/goals such as maybe volunteering, learning, being active, etc.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    something that impresses girls
     
  8. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    in that hypothetical, i suppose my "goal" would be to experience the finest products of hedonism that the world has to offer. and share that with deserving / loved ones. gatsby stuff
     
  9. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    23,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Manhattan
    demonstration of higher value. it gets thrown around here all the time. should probably put it in a sticky
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    There's also DLV, demonstration of lower value, which is the opposite; something you do which lowers your value in another's (usually a girl's) eyes.
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    If we were married and I was young, rich, and retired, why would you still be working?
     
  12. kiri

    kiri New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2006
    Messages:
    25,186
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Miami, FL
    raising a happy family definitely counts as a worthwhile goal IMO... like i said though, that doesn't include sitting on the couch for hours at a time wasting away. i just can't stand lazy people.
     
  13. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,866
    Likes Received:
    553
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    :rofl:
     
  14. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Clemente, CA
    Haha. Because she wants to make her own money? You control what you earn, not what someone else earns. It sucks being the one begging for crumbs instead of the one handing them out. No doubt if I married a rich man I'd still want to work to make my own money.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Good point.
     
  16. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    14,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL


    Because #1: I get very bored easily if I'm not always doing something.

    and #2: I'm not slaving away 8 years undergrad + grad to at least not use my degree a little bit.


    I certainely wouldn't be working a full time, back breaking schedule, but it would be nice to have my own practice to escape to.
     
  17. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    14,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL

    Well said.
     
  18. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    18,745
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto
    All women are different, for most however someone /w ambition is important, ambition however does not mean making hundreds of thousands of dollars, the meaning of ambition varies, but its definitely not sitting around doing jack shit.
     
  19. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    pick something and be better at it than everyone else
     
  20. NCS

    NCS Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2002
    Messages:
    5,777
    Likes Received:
    0
    i would LOVE to quit work (and i have a pretty good job) and pursue tons of hobbies.
    just felt like saying that
     
  21. A_C_E

    A_C_E Guest

    I could answer this by pointing to simple evolutionary psychology, but I'll necessarily also remark that psychology never tells the entire story:

    Women like men who are ambitious because it shows drive to excel in social situations, thus, in a traditional sense, making it more likely that said man will have attractive genes and be more likely to pass them on. Whether or not you have a job could factor in to this in that you could either have A) got rich by being lucky, which doesn't show attractive genes, or B) have money but be content to sit on your ass with it. In doing so, you also demonstrate unattractive genes, since being out in the workplace regularly and making money shows determination, vitality, and a willingness to provide for one's family; all of these are very attractive to the human female mind in the most base sense.
     
  22. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,962
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    The Bulletball guy on American Inventor is one of the most ambitious people I've ever heard of. I bet women are just dying to date a guy like him. Nevermind that he'll end up selling your wedding ring and your house to where you both will have to live out of a car because he's so unbelievably ambitious and that's such a turn on!
     
  23. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,962
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    Only in America. :mamoru: This is because this country is full of average joe's. People here have it ingrained into their system that average isn't good enough. They want to be and have the best. It is the American way. Is that a good thing? In some ways, yes, because it's led us to become the greatest nation in the world as far as achievements are concerned. But how many people have also ruined their lives trying to chase the American dream? Such as the example I mentioned above. This country was founded by the most ambitious people of Europe. Those who risk death to immigrate here are also the same. Naturally it is a part of most of our DNA.

    In France if you make a decent wage you are a keeper. Their unemployment rate is high and those that do work don't work many hours. It is possibly the most unambitious country in the world. And maybe the most stress free. In Russia both money and character are desired. Most people are poor and the women are treated badly.

    Here, I see it is the average to slightly above average people who are the most ambitious. They know they have to either work their butt off, manipulate, kiss ass, or fuck their bosses in order to get to the top. The ones who are naturally talented have to be self motivated and won't feel like they should have to compromise who they are in order to get to where they want, until of course they are surrounded by similarly talented people and then are just average among them.

    Anakin was the greatest jedi ever. He wanted to rule the galaxy. And he accomplished his goals, but at what price ;)
     
  24. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,057
    Likes Received:
    0
    Beyond evolutionary reasons, ambition also makes you less boring to be around. :dunno: Drive and passion make for interesting people.
     
  25. A_C_E

    A_C_E Guest

    Interesting points you have there, sir
     

Share This Page