Q for the Men

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by registeredPORK, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    I have a slight problem with my SO.

    During intimacy, when he doesn't think, he'll do things that he would of been more self-conscious about and once his brain starts thinking, he begins to get nervous and get shy.

    I've been with him for over a year now and we've been sexually active, but I don't understand what I'm doing to make him feel nervous and shy.

    I've really thought about it and can't figure it out :o
     
  2. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Have you talked to him about this?
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Can you be more specific? What is he doing that he gets shy about??

    :bowdown: to you for being thoughtful
     
  4. bigb14

    bigb14 New Member

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    just talk to him. You have to be completly comfortable with your partner to do some of the freaky stuff people do
     
  5. meervincent

    meervincent New Member

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    show him what you really like, if you praise his stengths he will realize that your happy with his proformance. from there it can only get better
     
  6. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    I'm actually quite shy in the bedroom :dunno: has nothing to do with confidence, nothing to do with how comfortable I am with the person...sometimes there's something that comes out and then I'm all like 'oh shit, did I really just say/do that?' and I get all shy again.

    Like dirty talking. I LOVE to talk/be talked to dirty. But I still have a tendency to clam up on occasion.

    Like Meer said, show him what you like, praise his strengths and talk to him OUTSIDE the bedroom about it. It may help him open up.
     
  7. ShoverBot

    ShoverBot OT Supporter

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    Sounds sorta like "whackers remorse" but physical. In the heat of the moment he will do stuff that he normaly never would think about doing normaly.
     
  8. aim2kill

    aim2kill New Member

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    not to sound cliche' but communication is key
     
  9. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    try getting drunk (the both of you) .....and then he'll get freaky and not give a shit.....
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    in for more info from OP. she is lurking! :x:
     
  11. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    OK-- maybe I should of stated that I have talked to him about this before. We sat down, talked about it, and he still wasn't able to give me an answer. I don't think that he's scared of telling me, I just think it's that he can't really put it 'correctly' into words. Like when you explain it in your head, it makes sense but when you say it out loud, it comes out nothing like it.

    In any case, how more specific can I be?

    When we're in the middle of foreplay or just sex, he'll do things that he wouldn't normally do. He's great at being a bottom, and I a top, but when he looks like he's not thinking about what he's doing and just doing it, he starts to become a bit more forceful (I like it rough sometimes). Once he starts thinking about it, it just seems he gets nervous and shy.

    So... I don't know. :dunno: I've already talked to him... he can't really answer it for me either.
     
  12. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Heh... sorry, was in a short brainstorming minute meeting.
     
  13. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Just tell him what you want him to do... im sure if you start to get in to it ie: moaning, talking dirty, ect. he will respond well.

    Is he just quiet in bed?
     
  14. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    back in an hour.... conf. call
     
  15. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    say what you want in passion during sex. i.e. "oh i love how rough you are with me"
     
  16. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Again, we communicate fine. I don't think that's the problem. I tell him what I want, he tells me what he wants, but I don't know what it is.

    could it just be simply that what I'm requesting is too much for him to do?
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    It's hard to answer without knowing more. Can you provide specifics? Does he get shy about making noise when he cums? Or calling you "momma" while suckling your tits? Or cumming in your face? Or taking it in his rear??
     
  18. MP525i

    MP525i New Member

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    if you've talked to him about it and nothing was resolved, it might be a problem that he just has to get over himself. which means you just have to be patient with him.
     
  19. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    Please detail what you mean by he gets shy?
     
  20. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    Or maybe hes just not that into you! :noes:
     
  21. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    I think he gets shy just being hard in front of me, and enjoying himself and knowing that I'm watching, and that I like it.

    He says no when I want him to be more rough. Or he'll do it and fumble a little then says that he's not good at it.

    He gets nervous when I look at him too... like, looking at him intently... the enjoyment of me watching him makes him nervous I s'pose.
     
  22. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Naw, he's really into me.

    he would die for me if it meant I lived on as long as my heart was broken by it and I still longed for him. :mamoru:

    Then again, it might just be the sex when we get to it :o
     
  23. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    I think it comes down to he has control issues.... going at it hard makes you cum fast and if you cant control it your done. So maybe he gets that way to last longer... :dunno:
     
  24. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    I don't think so because I enjoy making him cum first. Even if it's faster then usual because it's just that good.

    But when he gets soft, he gets out of the mood. He'll try one more time and it'll happen and then he'll just quit. :dunno:
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    What about when he's drunk? Does that help?
     

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