SRS Psycho GF?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by KDSVS, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    Ok we've been together for about 11 months.....off and on for a period of 3-4 months (mostly off during that time).

    This is both of our first relationships (22 her, 23 me) and basically it boils down to this. She keeps telling me I don't make time for her. This has been long distance (opposite side of US) and then about a 2 hour drive, and now she is out of country.

    When she was about 2 hrs away I would go to see her most every weekend and we'd spend time together. We are awesome together in person and if we fight we get over it right then.

    The distance seems to be the big issue. When I go to hang out with friends she says " you've been with them for 3 hours and not even tried to contact me when you knew i was upset". A month or so ago she said she was breaking up with me but somehow we ended up doing a thing were for 30 days I am home by 10 o'clock...she checks to make sure i'm home. At first I went for this (as we love each other) but it didn't last very long as one time I was about 10-15 mins late getting back...even called her to let her know. But she went apeshit and said I broke the agreement for her to "trust me".

    I have never cheated or done anything serious to hurt her. Its as though her feelings are soooo easily hurt.

    Anyways......she says when she thinks of one of my friends she only thinks of bad things in her life......and pretty much made me choose between him and her. So yesterday he was passing through town and I hung out with him for about 3-4 hrs and I got the " you didn't even contact me when u knew i was upset"...her being upset about me hanging out with him. He's not a bad guy she just doesn't like him.

    So basically she says "it's over" and she will never contact me again and tells me to do the same. Then all night and this morning she keeps calling and telling me why I'm such a shitty person......then ends up on the I'm killing myself because of you.

    She has told me before I'm the only one she'll ever be with (which is probably true....we were both virgins our first time).....and has told me that "she is all mine and no one else's"....which is 100% true but now she has gone into this Suicide mode....

    now that we are broken up she has "nothing to live for" and is going to kill herself so I will know the pain she has gone through and she can rest in peace----according to her.

    She has said this before so I'm starting to think its a bluff but I'm almost scared she might do it as she's in another country by herself for 2 more months and has lived away from her family throuhout college.

    Basically I ended up saying stop trying to control me.....and if you care and love me (like she says) you will respect my friends and in turn you will get all you ever wanted.

    She isn't picking up my calls right now but I know through going to her Voicemail etc. she is still alive and kicking.

    What the hell do I do here? I do love her and maybe I don't give her all the attention she needs but I haven't done anything to harm her emotionally like she acts.

    If it matters she is successful, has a great job, and is smart. Just freaking pscho when it comes to this relationship!

    Should I stop calling her to see if she's OK...since she doesn't answer.....and just hope that if she really cares she will come back? Don't really know how to handle this.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2007
  2. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    stop calling.
     
  3. Silvertone

    Silvertone New Member

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    .

    its true. I've had psycho girlfriends too and though you love them (i know i loved at least one of them), they will make you miserable if you let them control you. She wants control of the relationship, and right now, you are submitting yourself to it.

    Easiest way out is this in a few simple steps:

    1. Stop Calling and let her call YOU

    2. Tell her that she obviously doesn't respect you as a person and she should re-evaluate her attitude towards you. (dont say she's making you miserable)

    3. Tell her that if she loves you, she will cut this psycho shit out, and if she says she cant then she obviously just wants to control you and no matter how much "love" is in the relationship its gonna be unhealthy.

    if she says 'no i cant stop bein psycho' she might reword as "care too much" then she's not worth the effort.
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Sounds like one of my ex g/f's she was long distance as well. I learned a lot from that 1. long distance relationship don't work 2. man the fuck up and stop being a doormat for girls like that.

    Don't answer her calls and move on
     
  5. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    not being in contact with your girflriend for 3-4 hours is completely normal. giving an ultimatum between a friend you've had for years, and a long-distance girlfriend (who's future in your life is uncertain) is not at all reasonable. be glad she dumped you.
     
  6. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    Threatening to kill herself shows that she has a serious problem controlling her emotions. It also shows that she is incredibly insecure because she is using it to try to control you. That's pretty disgusting if you ask me.
     
  7. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    Thanks for the responses....really didn't have anyone I wanted to talk to about this (for obvious reasons) and thanks for the re-assurance. :)
     
  8. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    Basically I sent her an e-mail telling her how I don't feel that she respects me and only is trying to control me by her suicide threats. I told her I will not contact her again unless she brings about healthy communication and thanked her for all the wonderful times we spent together.

    I will see how she responds....if it is negative I will never contact her again.

    As a side note.......back in January some bad things happened and I broke up with her. For 4 months she continued to say how much she cared for me and I eventually came back to her.

    Anyways I will see if she replies and if she does what she says.

    It is so hard to let go of someone you really love.....but know that it is only healthy for your spirit to do so.
     
  9. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    :h5: Keep us posted!
     
  10. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    Well ended up talking to her on the phone last night. (she left me a voicemail saying she would be online to talk at a certain time)

    Basically she had cooled down somewhat from her suicide threats but still kept saying how shitty her life was....her situation sucks right now but its about to work out for her. (She isn't a US citizen and doesn't have a green card most of her problems are stemming from).

    She still felt how she did before and I told her I felt the way I did. We pretty much decided its over.

    Although she did say Bye and hungup before I was done talking to her....high class move! She didn't answer when I tried to call her back so I left her a voicemail telling her how immature it was and told her to have a wonderful life.

    She will hurt like hell without me (her words)....her loss. It sucks but I already bc I did ride out the storm with her having Visa issues and it pretty much is all sorted out now......atleast I now have more peace in my life.
     

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