SRS PSA: Hope is out there! You never know who you're going to meet...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Lucky Penny, Jun 19, 2008.

  1. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Little story for yuns..

    5 years ago today, I started dating this guy who I thought I had NOTHING in common with. But, he was a genuinely nice guy, made me laugh hysterically and I had a great time with him- he wasn't my "type" but I wasn't looking for anything serious anyway, so I thought, "Why the hell not? This probably won't go very far, but it sure is fun. Minus whale ride this train as far as it'll take me :dunno: "

    And yet, here we are today, celebrating our 5 year anniversary- laughing with each other, wondering how the hell we got here and where the time has gone. :rofl: It's the most amazing feeling ever :big grin:

    He's quiet, reserved and thoughtful. I'm gregarious, outgoing and impatient. He's the most calm, relaxed spirit I've ever known. I'm a bundle of nerves and energy. Still, he keeps me grounded and focused and I bring him out of his shell. He has an amazing way of bringing me back to center. We've found a balance in each other that I never knew was possible. And for as opposite as we are, I've never felt so comfortable, relaxed or genuine as I do when I'm around him. :bowdown:

    I see so many of you guys so worried about being the "nice guy" or the "quiet, reserved guy." Don't change yourself for someone else. You'll find someone who loves who you are. So many are worried about finding the "perfect" guy or girl for them- I've learned that sometimes, you've got to let that go. Before this relationship, the longest I had ever dated anyone was 7 months and every guy had the same boisterous nature that I do. I could never figure out why it wasn't working out. Turns out, the best match for me was someone with a personality I never thought I'd mesh well with. Who knew. :rofl:

    So for all of you out there who are worried about how to make the perfect approach, don't be. Don't try to change yourself because you think that's the only way you'll attract the partner you want. Just be yourself. Put yourself out there and go for it. You never know what you'll find. :big grin:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :h5:

    Same thing here. Started casually dating a guy for shits n giggles that I thought might not go anywhere because he didn't fit my "type" but was fun. 2 years later we are ridiculously happy and I'm so glad I didnt just toss him aside for some other guy who fit what I thought I needed. He's what I needed all along.
     
  3. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    :h5: Love it!!

    Heard you guys are coming up fast on an anniversary too!! Congrats :big grin:
     
  4. runawaycamel

    runawaycamel New Member

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    One guy I dated was the complete opposite of me, as is my best friend. It's funny how that works out.
     
  5. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    good for you :big grin:

    must be nice being a girl tho.. you just sit around, waiting for guy after guy to come and try to meet you, and then you decide if it they're good enough... no risk no worries... not the same for us dudes unless we're rockstars :hs:
     
  6. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Opposites attract.

    But seriously how then do you get a girl to go out with you that her initial reaction is to not go out with you?

    If I could just get a girl to go out with me I know for fucking fact that I can show her I'm a great guy, fun to be around and am not a push-over "nice guy". I just can't get womenz to hang out with me. :(
     
  7. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    When I met the guy I married, I tried very hard not to like him because I was pretty sick of dating/men/relationsips/people etc and did not want to end up with my heart getting thrown down and kicked across the floor again. There was nothing wrong with him, it was just I was sick of getting my hopes up, investing time/energy into someone only to have it fizzle out less than a month later.

    Well 12 years later here I am still with him :big grin: Our 5 year wedding anniversary is around the corner in October :blue:

    I can't imagine myself with anyone else...and I don't think anyone else would put up with me :rofl:
     
  8. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    After a string of quiet/shy/reserved/art scene girls, with whom I had plenty in common but no relationship really existed I met a very loud, outgoing down to earth girl in a bar

    Currently going through a difficult patch so things are on hold, but it's the most whole I've ever really felt.

    I'm pretty reserved in my approach, she's the opposite but seem to work well together.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    My friend was obsessed with really tiny little emo scene chicks. All of them claimed to be "bisexual" and were genuinely fucked in the head.

    Then he met a super tall model who didn't care to die her hair black and wear tons of eyeliner and they work out amazingly well :mamoru:
     
  10. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Yeah. Not the scene chicks, but those who are interested in art. Big passion of mine, and actually have the money to fund it now. But I found that really we were to similar to really work if that makes sense.

    She has no interest in Art, cars, music or fashion but it is working despite that. One of those things
     
  11. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Oh Rellik- you hardly need to be a rock star :rofl: You DO need to be yourself though. Don't know about other chicks, but I was never one to wait around for a guy to make the first move. If I saw the guy first, I'd go up to him and start the ball rolling. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't- but that's the breaks :dunno: Don't get too bummed over it- you don't want to date someone who isn't really interested in you, do you?

    Vysion- we were friends first and had a mutual friend. That's how we met. You're absolutely right- I probably never would have considered going out with him if he was just some random guy I met at a bar or whatever. But being friends first, I realized what a freakin awesome guy he was and figured I'd take my chances. I'm no expert, but the friend route worked for us :dunno: maybe try that? You seem like a good guy- are you serious when you say that you can't get any girl to talk to you?
     
  12. Matt550

    Matt550 New Member

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    Congrats, I'm one of the "nice guys, quite, reserved" While sometimes it seems I may never find the right girl, this post gives me hope to just be myself and be patient. I was dating a girl about a year ago that was the complete opposite of me, and I will say it was amazing how opposites do attract.
     
  13. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Hang tough Ideotique! My SO and I have been through some seriously tough times and its not always rainbows and butterflies, that's for sure. Its not always easy but it sure is worth it. You get out what you put into it, ya know?

    Matt- you'll find her when the time is right! Just be patient and be open to the possibilities. Glad this thread gave you a bit of hope :big grin:
     
  14. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    There might be something to this. I always go for the shy ones. Maybe I should be looking for the loud, outgoing chicks. :p
     
  15. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    To be honest I don't know how to talk to women.

    All I have in common with women is sex.

    Women always describe me as 'nice' and 'cute'. The 2 words that guarantee you'll never attract a girl.

    The thing is you'll only attract girls if you have 2 things, attractive masculine looks, and social status. I'm not ugly, but I have horrible social skills and social anxiety that holds me back. Not to mention my social anxiety is 10 times worse around attractive females. There was a pshycologist that called this type of anxiety 'love shyness'.

    However don't get me wrong... I'm not a spineless push-over. I do and will stick up for myself.

    Parties, bars, clubs, public places in general are not for the socially inept.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You've still got it all wrong. I don't know how many times we have to tell you that if you place ALL women under this one stereotype then you are never going to have luck with them. Not ALL women consciously or even unconsciously search for a man with status. Do you have any idea how many guys I've dated that were far far below me on the work status totem pole? A lot. I've dated many men with shitty cars, shitty clothing and no money to the point where I'd have to always pay for them. But what did they all have? Great personalities!!

    :rofl: I could post pics of past guys I've dated also and you'd laugh at how un-"masculine" looking they are. I've also dated 3 guys who were friends of mine first for months and sometimes years. I actually prefer to be friends with a guy first :dunno:

    You willingly admit you are terribly awkward when it comes to social situations, so blame that, stop blaming women as if they are the reason you arent having luck. Why aren't you in therapy BTW?
     
  17. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    :cool: its like the saying goes never judge a book by its cover
     
  18. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    You misunderstood what I meant by social status. I didn't mean clothes, cars, money, power, etc. There are many jobless losers that have girlfriends or can meet women on a regular basis. I am fully aware you don't need money or good looks to attract women. What I meant by social status was more of social value. Guys I have noticed that have the most success with women are the ones that are in love with their own voices. They have higher social value over guys that aren't. Women are the ones that are falling for these pricks, but I also realize attraction is not a choice.

    I've never said all women are into the same things, but the majority of women will find particular guys attractive. I am aware there are exceptions to every rule, you don't have to rub you and your boyfriend in it everytime. I'm happy for you that you were friends with your boyfriend first and that he is a nice guy and that you just ended up realizing you were attracted to him. But if this was the norm, then guys would be writing, "OMG I thought I was friendzoned, but now were dating..." more often that the opposite.

    I never said I was "terribly awkward". My mind goes blank and I don't know what to say most of the time. It is worse when talking with girls. So it is hard for me to open up. And I never blamed or blame women. I don't need therapy. I just need to learn how to socialize with others and especially women so that I can build attraction.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Just to clarify, my bf wasn't a frend for a while. A friend introduced us and we liked each other instantly and began dating; just weren't serious until a few months in.
     
  20. skych

    skych New Member

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    you always meet the best people when you're not looking to
     
  21. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    /thread
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    :rolleyes:

    Jesus, this is so lame.

    I fucking hate this phrase because so often people say just stop looking then you'll find someone. Very often when you stop looking you don't find anyone....but that's not as romantic and people don't like the believe that so they ignore all those times that people DON'T find someone when they stop looking and instead embrace this more romantic view of life. Then they look at stories like the Lucky's as proof that it's true. Please....

    It's totally possible to meet fantastic people WHILE looking and I would suggest that this is much more common than finding fantastic people while NOT looking.

    But oh man, that doesn't have the sappy, romantic feelings like the quoted post does. This isn't a movie people and rarely is life as simple as that little catch phrase.....which can often cause people to become truly confused by shit when things just don't work out.

    To Lucky, thanks for sharing your story and congrats on 5 years!!! That's awesome and I'm happy for you that you've found someone that's a very good fit but it wasn't someone you had anything in common with. I love how life will surprise us like that. Kudos to you for having the guts to go with the flow instead of over analyzing the situation and choosing not to continue on.

    I wish you all the best in the future!! :hsd:
     
  23. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Wrong.

    What will attract women is whether you carry yourself with confidence, don't look desperate, and have your own life (as in, you don't give off the 'I need a girl' vibe). Being well-dressed always helps as well.
     
  24. skych

    skych New Member

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    sorry, i have just met some of the best guys when dating/relationships was not my top priority. sorry, i wont state my experience anymore :ugh:

    when not looking, it takes someone awesome to catch your eye
     
  25. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    you're a girl. All you have to do is wait for a guy to come along and ask you out.

    A guy has to ask the girl out. If he doesn't look, he'll never find someone to ask
     

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