protein farts vs. GOD DAMN

Discussion in 'Fitness & Nutrition' started by themolsen, Jan 28, 2010.

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  1. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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    I can't handle it anymore. I hotboxed myself AND my cat out of the living room tonight.

    What's good to control this? I hear papaya enzymes work. What works for you, bros?

    Also, what's the most embarrassing protein fart/shart you've ever had? Mine was yesterday in a meeting with my boss. It just reeked of sulfur shit. I apologized and he forgave me.
     
  2. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    Glad I never have this problem.

    Try chewing with your mouth shut and eating slower. You won't swallow as much air and you won't fart as much. My old roomie always had his mouth hanging open while eating and consequently would fart about every 15 minutes.
     
  3. Blade

    Blade Time to swolercize

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    I have no idea what helps but it sucks. :rofl:

    I was packing up and about to leave the office yesterday. Right as was leaving a hot one slipped out. I cropped dusted the hallways and could hear people coughing.
     
  4. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    Gas in the digestive tract—the esophagus, stomach, small intestine, and large intestine—comes from two sources:

    * swallowed air (Aerophagia)
    * normal breakdown of certain undigested foods by harmless bacteria naturally present in the large intestine, also called the colon
     
  5. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    Trust me I have firsthand experience with it. Like I said, my roomie ate like a fucking donkey, mouth wide open, and I've never met anyone who farted as much. Digestive enzymes are probably still the main thing to check out though.
     
  6. KIDRR

    KIDRR Duck dog>* OT Supporter

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    My GF left me some "beano" on my desk the other night. I've been tearing it up since I been bulking again :wtc:
     
  7. patt

    patt New Member

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    i get worse farts when i eat like 8 eggs for breakfast(im gonna get a heart attack :big grin:)
     
  8. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    yea...my gf hates my gas...
     
  9. The Cable Guy

    The Cable Guy New Member

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    The gas after downing a shake. It's the worst.
     
  10. FartLighter

    FartLighter Resident Fart Expert OT Supporter

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    Enjoy the gas. Probably some of the most potent you'll ever have! And if the smell gets to you, just light the farts on fire. Kills the stink and gives an awesome fire show for your friends.

    My story:

    My fraternity hosted farting contests during parties. They are pretty well attended lol. I love to fart, so I like to compete in them. In this contest, I was doing incredible, easily I was going to come in first. After each fart I got cheers, laughs and applause from the crowd. After about an hour and a half the contest was winding down, and I knew I had it in the bag. I feel a strong gurgling in my nethers and I knew this one would be the fart to win me the contest. It is important to note that I am very drunk also...

    I get on all fours in my undies and I push with all of my might. But this fart (which was amazing) was blocked a huge turd, which now formed a huge bulge in my tighty whities. I have shit myself from farting before...it's part of the sport! But this was no shart, and no hershey squirt. I had just dropped a huge deuce in my pants. The crowd went silent, and jaws dropped. My gut reaction was "Shit! that was such a good fart too!" Then they erupted in laughter and some were disgusted lol. Usually a couple of guys shit their pants during these contests, but nothing of this magnitude, so close to winning!

    I was disqualified. Disappointed in a drunked stupor, I grabbed my shorts and waddled home without even thinking to change before I left. That was the longest 4 blocks I had ever walked! I am sure people noticed the huge turd in my pants, but I knew I just had to get home waddling one cheek at a time!

    The funniest part was as I am waddling home, I walked past these two guys and one of them looks at the other and yells "did you f*cking fart?"
     
  11. Spur

    Spur Boomer

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  12. calteg

    calteg Those who would sacrifice personal liberty for sec OT Supporter

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    How the fuck does an AE get 500 posts?
     
  13. miek

    miek New Member

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    just noticed the username :bowrofl:
     
  14. Thomas Crenshaw

    Thomas Crenshaw New Member

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    do you have ibs?
     
  15. Aspirin

    Aspirin OT Supporter

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    ive started taking 4g of psyllium fiber capsules/day and ive noticed it helps alot. plus im shittin clean
     
  16. CrackityJones

    CrackityJones OT Supporter

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    psyllium husk ftw
     
  17. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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    no not at all. I have a very excellent BS. but sometimes when I drink/eat more protein than my body can handle at once it comes out the rear end as a noxious, sulfuric gas. gonna try some different stuff this weekend
     
  18. Bacchus

    Bacchus Skinny Guy

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    hells ya

    i took a 2lb shit yesterday, and didn't even have to wipe. I mean, i did, but there was nothing there!

    cleanest shit ever.

    :bowdown:
     
  19. fatmoocow

    fatmoocow bored OT Supporter

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    One time I made a janitor cough upon opening the door to the bathroom from the shear density of the smell from my fresh dump.
     
  20. Aspirin

    Aspirin OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
     
  21. Ceaze

    Ceaze https://hearthis.at/DoYouEvenUplift Moderator

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    Beano only works on gas from carbohydrates, not protein.
     
  22. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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    the other night I was just firing them off every minute or so. I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my cat and he was sitting right next to me. Finally, I guess he'd had enough, because he put his ears back, looked at me, and had this really disgusted look on his face and left the room. I don't blame him...our air was very tainted.
     
  23. SmartPowders

    SmartPowders New Member

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    Want to take it to the next level, eat blue berries, lots of them. I eat about 12-18oz a day. What comes out of your body isn't meant to be exposed to air.
     
  24. themolsen

    themolsen New Member

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  25. The Great Deceiver

    The Great Deceiver 21st Century Schizoid Man

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