SRS Protecting the rest of the world from reality.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by deusexaethera, Feb 16, 2010.

  1. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Growing up (and to a certain extent, even now), it was a very beneficial thing for me to learn how to "protect" my mom from understanding me in ways that would lead to unrelenting criticism. I wonder to what extent this has influenced how protective I am of myself, and to what extent it is perfectly normal to be cautious about letting people get to know me too quickly. It's nice to think that I could just be completely myself around everyone at all times, but that doesn't seem to be a very effective approach to making friends. Of course, warning people ahead of time that I'm probably not what they expect is also not such a great approach.

    No idea where I'm going with this; it's just something that popped into my head about 5 minutes ago, and I haven't thought it through yet. Thoughts?
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    are you realizing we present different faces to different people?

    we all do that.
     
  3. borazhasleftthebuilding

    borazhasleftthebuilding Lets Party OT Supporter

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    ya, people lie to get what they want.
     
  4. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I find that when I just let go and be myself and say what is on my mind that people seem to want to be around me even more.

    But of course I only do that when I want to. If I said everything I really believed around my mom she would go into a fit of rage.
     
  5. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I can only think of one person in the world who I can say whatever is on my mind to, and reliably expect him to handle it well. That's my college roommate. We didn't spend all four years living in the same room, but we did at least live in the same suites and apartments as much as we were able to. Kinda reminds me of "I Love You, Man", now that I think about it. I'm in SoCal right now, on business, and I had the chance to hang out with him for a couple of days. That's what brought on this line of thinking.

    So anyway, I trust him with "me" more than anyone else in the world right now; I might trust my own brother that much, but he's ten years younger than me and he's got a little more growing up to do before I think he'll be able to handle "me" un-diluted. If nothing else, he needs to get out of Catholic school first. I definitely don't trust my parents with "me" like that -- too many bad memories of being made fun of at school and coming home to criticism, and besides, being my parents, they can't help but pass judgement from time to time.

    So I've been talking to this girl lately (there's always a girl, isn't there?), and tonight I actually caught myself starting to give her a heads-up that I tend to see things differently than other people do (I might have been getting ready to use the word "weird"), and there was an amusing mental scene involving a slow-motion "NOOOOOOOO!" as I caught myself and tried to come up with something else to say instead. Humor aside, it makes me wonder to what extent I should be tempering myself so people get to know me more gradually; I suppose I wouldn't care, but I really do seem to get a lot of weird looks when I open my mouth, and it's not because of my teeth if you know what I mean.
     

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