SRS Prom Ordeal

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Apr 20, 2006.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    Don't have a date and I don't plan on going. It's my senior year and I'm being pressured to go by my family and people at work. It's a terrible feeling whan people ask if I plan on going and I have to say no. And then the followup question of "why" comes. I'm constantly being told how it's a once in a life time event, but i'm not sure what the big deal is. I never really had a dating life/experience with girls but it's a shame because i'm told every now and then that I'm hot/good looking/cute, and I get looks from girls all the time but I just don't know how to approach and it usually ends there.

    What's a good excuse that I can use as to why I'm not going? I've already lied and said that I went last year to some people and that I didn't like it. I've also said that I might go, even though I probably won't unless I'm asked(I assume that the guy is supposed to ask the girl?). And people don't buy either of those excuses and I just feel like shit because of it. Besides, I think most people already have dates and I don't want to run around and get shot down girl after girl, assuming I get the balls to even ask. Am I missing much? Will I regret not going in ten years? Guess I'm just lost and insecure.

    Please help.

    Edit: what kills me most is that even ADULTS are shocked when I tell them that I probably won't go. And at the same time, ADULTS are saying that HS doesn't matter. So what the fuck should I believe?
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2006
  2. smitty06

    smitty06 New Member

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    honestly it isnt that big of a deal, the dance itself isnt all that great but the after partys can be fun even if you arent into partying. if you want to go but cant find a date then just go with a bunch of your buddies. and yes the guys usually ask the girl but not always, in my case she asked me (i was going to ask her but she beat me to it).
     
  3. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    well I was indirectly asked by a girl. She simply asked "are you going to prom?". to which I responded, "I don't know". And then she and her little friend laughed a little and that was that. I don't know if she was gonna ask me or not, but I got embarrased and just said what I always say.
     
  4. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    If your confortable with not goign then hell with it. it's just 500+ down the tubes anyway. It obviously bothers you still if your making a post about it, but thats only because society is pressuring you to care.
     
  5. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    its up to you dude, who cares what people think. if you dont want to go, and you're fine with it, then there's no problem. just tell people you don't like dances or some excuse.
     
  6. bromide

    bromide New Member

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    i didnt go, and i am glad i didn't. it wasn't my cup of tea and thats what i told people, if they didnt believe me, fuck em. not like it affects me. i went to the beach with some girl and had a bon fire instead. much better alternative in my opinion.
     
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    My school didn't have a prom since it was for problem kids. I had a huge party for the people from the other highschool. Most count it as the best party they've ever attended. So, that was nice.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You should go. Don't miss out because you were "lost and insecure" as you put it.

    There's still plenty of time till prom arrives. Go. Go with a bunch of your non dating friends, if you have to. It's not necessarily about having or not having a date. Just remember to party and have good times with good friends.

    Don't let the fact that you didn't/couldn't/wouldn't ask a girl out ruin your prom/grad experience. It's much bigger than that. Prom melts into grad which melts into after-grad which melts into a fuzzy, pleasant memory of many consecutive days spent laughing, pal'ing around, possibly hooking up with whoever (or not).

    Point is, there's much more to it, than just the agony of asking a girl out to prom. Don't let that little detail keep you from missing out.


    You might find that as grad approaches, the traditional barriers between the castes start to break down and people become more approachable as they realize this phase of their life is coming to a close and the old rules and roles are becoming meaningless.

    Many people become just a tad melancholic and take this opportunity to reach out to people they did not deign to talk to otherwise.

    Go to your prom. Don't go home that night. You should be too busy having fun to go home.

    There should be plenty of parties and general revelry everywhere. Beachfires, goofy parties and giggly semi anonymous random making out (optional)...generally all sorts of fun.

    Remember to call your parents at 1am or so, if they're the worrying type. Tell them you're ok and then forget about them for the next 48 hours.

    I think I came home 2 days later, slept for 6 hours, and was awoken by a phone call telling me to get my ass back down to the beach. Good times.
     
  9. chickentendah

    chickentendah New Member

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    don't get so caught up in the hype.......it's not the event itself that matters.....it's the opportunity the event provides for you to spend quality time with your significant others

    i mean look at me....i had a nearly non-existent social life in high school, and i constantly heard that i would "regret" not going to prom....so, i scrambled and managed to find a last-minute-outside-of-this-school-date through an acquaintence....i barely knew this chick, and i tagged along for the "limo experience" with people who really weren't my friends

    to be honest, i was pretty bored throughout the evening...and i felt alienated from the event.......friends were having a great time with their friends (of whom they have long before established great relationships).......it finally hit me as i was slowdancing with my random prom date:

    the PEOPLE make the party, not the party itself

    So, when those adults tell you how big of a deal prom is, what they're really implying is that they had a great time with their good friends

    not going with people you really care about? no regrets!

    your good friends want you to go? do it! and it won't matter if your'e going with a random chick, because u'll be too busy enjoying the company of your friends

    EDIT: i notice you're making a big mental fuss about prom for all the wrong reasons.....blame it on the movies....be realistic here........great relationships take much time and investment....not overnight....but don't get me wrong, you might create an amazing relationship starting prom night
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2006
  10. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    High School is really just a big game. I guess it's the end of my youth and I should just do what feels right. Even though my dating life struggled in high school, I still have friends that I grew up with that I drifted apart from. I'm finally seeing prom as what it is, just a last dance before everyone parts. I want to do something maturely and get in contact with my old friends and re establish what we had before, so I leave high school as somewhat of an adult, as oppose to an immature punk like I've been acting like throughout highschool, shutting myself out and whatnot. I think I, along with everyone else, took high school way too seriously and Johan is right, people are starting to come around and see how silly the whole "whose cool" question is, or was. If only I could go back to my freshman year....oh well, it's coming to an end and I guess I'll just make the best of what I have left. No sense in living in the past. I do want to thank the OT Asylum for it's help in everything. Some of you may have noticed but I'm in the asylum a lot. Feels great now, like things are taking a turn for the better and I'm finally getting the broad picture. Who would have thought the internet would kill and save me at the same time....
     
  11. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    i never went to prom and don't feel bad that i didn' go or anything. I only would've really wanted to go if i could have taken this one girl, seeing how she had a boyfriend, obviously i couldn't.. and i don't think its that big of a deal..
     
  12. Hootahz314

    Hootahz314 I have daddy issues

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    The only one that should be concerned about going vs. not going is you. However, these adults questioning your reason as to why you're not are just doing so because they don't want you to miss out on the nostalgic 'one last fling' with the people you've had in your life since you started high school. They have their reasons for wondering, but you as an (almost) adult have your reasons as well. Don't get defensive and just answer them as simple as possible.

    Prom has become so materialistic since I went to mine (although it was still pretty uhh... you know) but I'm glad I went. It was an opportunity to take that one last pic and laugh over the stupid things one more time before adulthood sets in. Take it for what it is really. If that isn't your thing then that's your right. Do what makes you happy, but don't let a lack of a date keep you behind if this is the case. Stag just means you don't have to carry around a clutch while your date mingles with the girls. ;)
     
  13. chickentendah

    chickentendah New Member

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    Haha not so fast there familyguy. IMO, the true "end of high school" is at the end of freshmen year of college. You'll be surprised that people are still in "high school mode" during their 1st year. In most cases, people live in close quarters at the dorms. The living/cafeteria situation itself becomes a Darwinian social competition for popularity. The one who makes the most friends in the first couple weeks wins the dorm popularity game. Don't believe me? Go check out facebook.com (which will become your new myspace), and just go through some freshmen profiles.

    IMO, the end of youth really begins after you graduate with a bachelors; that's when most people move into the working world. It's kinda funny that each time you grow up, you have a new seniority complex with your lower classmen isn't it? Trust me, you'll understand very soon.

    :bigthumb:
     
  14. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    amilyguy101, Don't go. You owe no one an explanation why you aren't going! (You decided not to go, end of discussion.) The "trip the lite fantastic" that they had on prom nite, is based on their closed-minded subjective experience. Move on to bigger things, don't let people manipulate you.
     
  15. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I kinda like familyguy's new attiitude after Johan's post. Forget a date... go an have a good time.
     
  16. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    I was hoping someone would notice....

    by the way, I wasn't saying that I'm going. I meant i'll make the best of what is left by screwing around and laughing with friends. Screw prom, nothin there for me, therefore I can't have regrets for not going. I've also discovered that there are some pretty cool people that I talk with all the time who told me they have no reason to go. One of my friends graduated early just to avoid the BS in the HS social scene and prom. All is well in the end. Guess if I made a central group of friends early is HS there would be more incentive to go and share a last laugh, but the only thing left for me to do is to move on and not make the same mistake twice. you live you learn. anyone agree?

    also, this sort of experience-lesson transition can apply to anyone in various situations, sorry if i'm concentrating this to much on "me".
     
  17. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    If you don't have a girlfriend, or any other desire to go, then don't. The only worthwhile reasons for going in that case are if you are guaranteed to "get some" afterwards (and you wouldn't otherwise "get any" if you didn't go to prom), or if you're going to wear something really rediculous and be obnoxious.
     

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