SRS Progressively isolating myself

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by iblameluke, Nov 4, 2008.

  1. iblameluke

    iblameluke New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2007
    Messages:
    84
    Likes Received:
    0
    I just read through this thread ( http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3974587 ) and it closely resembles how I have been feeling right now / recently.

    A Little Background:
    I had a large group of acquaintances all throughout high school while having a solid 5-6 friends that I have hung out with since I was very very young. I got my first real girlfriend towards my senior year, lost my virginity to her, and dated her for almost 10 months. We thought we loved each other and in all reality I think I always will. She broke up with me and it annihilated my emotions. I had never felt so betrayed by someone that I had given all my emotional trust to. After this, I went crazy. I was drinking heavily on the weekends, sleeping around with anyone that would sleep with me. I did this all the way until I got to college and now I am here.

    First off, I only get upset / lonely whenever I am alone and recently, since I got to college, I have been having thoughts about my ex and just my overall happiness in general. I met this awesome girl about three weeks ago and we get along great, shes cute, but I just feel like I am not letting her in to actually get to know me. This is upsetting me greatly becuase I want to be able to let this girl into my life and get to know me but I just feel like there's something stopping me and it's not that I'm not attracted to her, it's something else. This is why I made reference to my ex earlier, I feel that it might have something to do with me putting so much into my last relationship that I am scared to put anything into this one and I am sincerely torn on what to do. I have also considered the fact that I might just be looking to feel loved again as I did whenever I was at home. I had all my friends, my family, and girls that could fill the sexual emotional void. I am a Freshman at college and I left all of my best friends whenever I went to school and ever since I got here I haven't been very happy. I have recurring feelings of depression and I have found my self starting to drink and smoke much more than I would like. I don't know what to do. I want to be able to love someone again as well as feel loved again. I'm not trying to sound like a cheesy lame ass but I just don't really know what to do.

    I honestly don't know what I'm trying to get out of posting this but just shoot the shit at me becuase as of now, I'm open to anything.

    P.S. - Sorry about the shitty grammar. I'm working on it!
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    welcome to the rest of the club, most guys unrightfully put their own life on a halt when a woman breaks up with them. The problem is they go into the relationship thinking its 'special' and that nothing bad could ever happen to them because it concerns their life, this illusion of bad things happen to others but not to me is what gives such a shock, what you learn from this is:

    NEVER go into a relationship expecting it will work out, reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave any day. Cheating (although incredibly wrong) is more normal then it is uncommon but just because a woman gives you the blues doesn't mean you should put your life on a halt, life goes on wether you live or not, this ball keeps spinning around the sun. This is why you need to stay a part off life, and not put yourself in some closet hiding for the big mean outside world. In the end you'll know this bitch wasn't worth putting your life on a halt for, and in that knowledge you should immediatly and as fast as possible move forward. The lesson you learned from this 'hopefully' is that you should never put your life in someone elses hands too quickly before they have proven themselves completely trustworthy. Bring the power of your life back were it belongs, namelly in YOUR hands, otherwhise you'll just become an emotional soccerball for others to play with.
     

Share This Page