SRS problems with the ex :-(

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ballzeh, Feb 9, 2006.

  1. ballzeh

    ballzeh New Member

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    Me and my ex have been apart for almost 4 years just after my son was born. I have had my son every weekend since he was old enough to not need his mum for breast milk etc.

    Currently i am temporarily working down the coast near my sons house so my ex said i could stay at her place to save me travelling long distances every day to and from work... and also to be able to spend every day with my son.

    I have not been involved with anyone since my son was born up until a month ago when i hooked up with a great girl who i have known through work for about 8 months.

    <start rant>
    Last night I was taking my son and Sasha (my girl) out for ice cream at baskin n robins (yummy).. My ex started having a go at me saying that she doesn't want me taking evan out with Sasha. I told her how much we like each other and its not just some one night stand relationship (which i have never done or will do). Things got rather heated and i still went to get ice cream.

    Then this morning comes when my son tells his mum that Sasha got him a balloon, my ex went off saying "i thought you were only going to get ice cream". I told her that we picked up Sasha, went and got ice cream then went back to Sasha's for about 15mins. Evan and sasha played with a balloon for a bit then we went home to bed. She didn't say anything back, just gave me a deathstare.

    I am just wanting some input on this whole scenario, the ex has had a few partners during the last 4 years. Sasha knows that my son is #1 in my life and they get along really great. Do you think I am in the wrong, or that my ex just needs to get over it and get a life?</end rant>

    *cliffs*
    Been apart with sons mother for 4 years. Staying at ex's house while working nearby. Ex doesn't want me to take my son to get ice cream with my SO. Am I not doing the right thing by my son? Or is my ex just jealous or insecure about something?
     
  2. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Does your ex introduce your son to her partners?
     
  3. ballzeh

    ballzeh New Member

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    I don't think she has.

    She only has fuck buddies though, nothing serious.
     
  4. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Perhaps it's an issue with introducing a mother figure into her sons life.
    Regardless of what she does with the guys, as long as they aren't introduced to the kid, I don't see it as being hypocritical.
    You've known then girl for 8 months, but only dated her for a month. I can see where she is coming from, at least.
     
  5. ballzeh

    ballzeh New Member

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    ok that might be it.

    I didn't mean to come across as her being hypocritical.. my SO is someone i can see myself spending the rest of my life with and she feels the same way.. We would've dated earlier but the distance between us and me having my son every weekend didn't allow me to. I just meant that she hasn't introduced any of her partners into our sons life because they aren't keepers.

    Do i stop taking my son out for e.g. ice cream with Sasha? Maybe let the ex cool off for a bit? I am just confused at the moment on what to do.
     
  6. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    How long are you going to be living with her?
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    might be jealousy, might be genuine concern... no way to tell unless you sit with her and talk it out when

    a) she's calm and
    b) you can really listen.



    (moved)
     
  8. ballzeh

    ballzeh New Member

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    i am still unsure of how much longer i will be staying there, am waiting for my new office to be fitted out.

    I would really like to talk to her about it but she is not the sort of person to talk things out. I guess i will just try and keep things civil and only see sasha when evan is being looked after by her.

    Thanks for the replies
     
  9. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    I think your ex just really wants to be the only mother figure for your son. If you were 4 and got to play with some lady your dad really liked, wouldn't you be a little confused?

    Its kind of a hard situation to deal with because I dont think there is a perfect answer. It isn't fair to you to not be able to introduce your son to somebody you love. It isn't fair to your ex to have her son viewing another woman in a similar way as he views her. Divorce is a bitch.

    I dont think anyone online can really give you the best answer.
     
  10. ballzeh

    ballzeh New Member

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    Yeah i guess i just wanted to see other peoples perspective on the whole situation. I think i will just lay off on taking my son to see sasha for a bit, give the ex some time to think about it and how it is going to happen sooner or later.
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I was also thinking jealousy , and maby some protective mother instincts of pushing away people that could interfere with the mother - son relationship you see if sasha overtakes your ex's position then she will no longer be needed , that might be a irrational selfish thought, but selfish reasons are often behind it. Think that you have to share your son with a complete stranger, that might just not fit into her to do or wish list in her life.
     

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