Problems with my GF (long)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by r1dd1ck, Nov 8, 2007.

  1. r1dd1ck

    r1dd1ck New Member

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    So my GF and I got into a huge fight, we didn't break up but she "wants some space."

    We started dating last Feb. and everything was great. It was the best semester of my life (in college). I had to move away for the summer for a job, but we saw each other almost every weekend. Everything seemed fine. This semester she was totally different. She says we don't spend any time together because she is working 2 jobs and very busy in school, which I had no reason not to believe.

    So last weekend we are supposed to go to this tailgate at like 6 in the morning. So I get up and get dressed and try to get ahold of her. She doesn't call me back until 8. Apparently she got picked up by her friend at 4am and was already there. Well when I got there I herd that that friend isn't the one who picked her up. So I verified the story and what really happened is that she was dropped off by another guy at 4am. I have met the guy and aside from the very incriminating timing I have no reason to believe that anything happened because I trust her.

    So she finds out that I found out and blows up on me because she thinks that I am "checking up on her" when in reality someone just told me the truth. So I ended up apologizing for something that I didn't even do and now when I see her out her just avoids me.

    Advice please. I hope people can give me responces other than the standard leave her, because she, even though it sounds cleche, truly is the perfect woman for me.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I hate to say it, because you pretty much confirmed from your last line that you will be in denial and not take any advice people throw at you in here...but your girlfriend sounds like she is going to cheat on you, if not now then eventually. First of all, most girls who ask for "space" or "a break" do it because they aren't into the relationship as much anymore and either don't have the heart to just break up or want the feeling of independence so that they can do whatever they want without feeling they have to report to anyone.

    The first big fucking red flag was that this girl got dropped off at the tailgate at 4am without telling you. Umm, I know for a fact that if my bf and I were going to a tailgate together and plans changed (especially important one's like those) I would tell him immediately, no matter what time. But the fact of the matter is she didn't answer or call you back until much later. She didn't even apologize. And to make it so much more interesting she lied about who brought her. Sweetie, wake up! There was NO reason for her to lie what so ever about who brought her. The fact that she then went on the defensive means she feels guilty about something.

    Now she is avoiding you? Wake up my friend, it's pretty much over.
     
  3. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    2nd'ed on every red flag in the book.

    not telling you about important plan changes that involve you means she doesnt give a damn about you

    leaving you twiddling your thumbs while she is with another man when she was supposed to be with you means she doesnt give a damn about you and is acting very shady

    getting angry about you finding out about her acting shady instead of apologizing is shady

    asking for space means she isnt afraid to lose you.


    cheating or not, you have to see that she really doesnt care about you right now. relationships do have highs and lows, but you have to at least see how very very low things are right now.

    you have two choices that involve you retaining a shred of self respect

    1. dump her

    2. lay down the law and tell her that you find her behavior completely unnaceptable and that if she wants to continue this relationship then her behavior and attitude have to change.
     
  4. GanglyGoodness

    GanglyGoodness .

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    the perfect woman for you is someone who lies to you, and then gets mad at YOU for finding out the truth? wow.
     
  5. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    This will not work, all it will do is breed resentment and make her better at covering her tracks. His other option is to stay with her, and realize that she will do this again.
     
  6. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    If you're in a relationship, the vag's answer to every question is "leave this girl," or "give her an ultimatum!"

    If you're single, the advice is, "don't get involved."

    What kind of advice are you looking for?

    If I were you, I would treat your girl's actions as a form of communication, as if she had actually told you something explicitly. In case you missed it, then, she told you, "I'm interested in meeting other guys."

    That's what she said, that she's interested in meeting other guys. Remember we're treating this as a form of communication. Well, that's the message.

    People here in the vaginarium are NOT cool with a girl telling her guy that she wants to meet other people. All the responses you get here will be to move on. If YOU are not cool with her meeting other guys, that is probably good advice.

    However, maybe you ARE cool with her meeting other guys? In that case, open the relationship. Tell her you realize that you two are at a point in your life where it is important to develop yourselves by meeting new people. Tell her that you know she loves you, but that if the two of you are going to survive, you can't prevent each other from growing as people.

    Things may explode after you do this. But if you try to keep things they way they were before, things will explode anyway! So you have nothing to lose by taking this risk.

    If you are not cool with your gf seeing other guys, then gtfo of this LTR. GTFO because she will feel trapped. And this girl, judging by her actions, has enough resentment in her that she is treating you without a lot of care or empathy. The last thing you want is more of that. Your relationship either has to evolve or die.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Btw I'm sorry you're going through this :hug:
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    youd be surprised. if you come out all billy badass they often end up respecting you more for standing up for yourself and that raises their interest...

    on the other hand, if shes like "eh, whatever" then you know there really isnt anything to save and you can move on.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Exactly. From the sounds of it this chick has him by the balls anyway. I mean we know he's probably not going to break up with her as it is, so the most he can do for himself is confront her on her actions. She'll most likely do the bolded, in which case maybe he'll realize WTF is going on and discover that he doesn't deserve to be treated that way and that she's not "his perfect girl."
     
  10. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    it's not gonna work out.
     
  11. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    dump that hoe
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    JJJ, although your advice is valid,you do realize that the majority of guys who post on here (myself included) are not cool with the idea of an open relationship?
     
  13. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    I agree with all that was said, especially with what iwishyouwerebeer explained.

    You are being played for a fool and you ultimately know it to be true, stop convincing yourself it was innocent. She didn't tell you about being dropped off at 4am by another guy?

    Man, that's ridiculous.

    If your plans were as concrete as they seem they were, she should have contacted you to let you know of any changes. She has no respect for you or very little.

    In all honesty, her actions are shady and show a lack of respect for you and the relationship as I said above.

    Is it cool for her to have guy friends? Of course.

    She wasn't forthcoming with information which seems to be a huge issue. It would have been different if she said something like, "Hey, I was hanging out with Joe, Mary and Paul. Joe is dropping me off at 4am. If you want to sleep in and meet at 6am, no problem. If you want to meet me now, come over."
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: I almost posted the exact same thing. But he did at least clarify by the end of that post that he recognizes that fact.
     
  15. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    So the perfect woman for you is one who doesn't give a shit about you?
     
  16. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    All I needed to hear was #1 She lied to you #2 she blew up, and tried to mind f*ck you because she felt guilty.

    What is the word, well something is going on... End of story, beyond doubt, and now SHE wants space? lol... My friend, give her unlimited amounts of space, get as far away as possible, she's messing with you and you're getting played~
     
  17. Fernando

    Fernando New Member

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    Tonight, she dines at the sausage buffet.
     

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