SRS Problems with a true nympho (anonymous post)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Jun 4, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    So I've been dating a nympho for a little over a month now. Unfortunately, I can't enjoy her constant desire to have sex, which sucks because I want to badly. I'll explain a bit more below.. first..

    About me: I'm 23 and have only had sex with 4 women. The main reason being is that I get anxiety when I'm with a new girl and it causes me to be unable to get/maintain an erection. This lasts until I'm comfortable with the person at which point I'm normal and good to go... A lot of women don't respond well to this and end up not seeing me again, but the few that have been understanding took the time to help me relax and get the deed done. Its frustrating because I have a lot going for me and am able to pick up women quite successfuly, but as soon as it comes to getting in the sack I can't help but think about whether or not I'll be able to get going.

    About her: She's a true nympho in that she's addicted to sex - she wants it all the time - and when she can't get it she has withdrawl symptoms and becomes extremely unpleasant.

    So I'm extremely into this girl and when it came time for us to get it on for the first time I, as usual, was unable. She got defensive and thought it was her, as most girls do initially, and I explained that it wasn't. She told me that she can't handle it because she's addicted to sex, I told her I'll get over it and will be fine I just need to get comfortable around her. She eventually accepted it and we continued seeing each other. I went to a doctor to talk about it and see if he recommended taking something briefly to get confidence up/anxiety down.. he recommended against it saying that I could start to THINK I needed it to perform and it would create more of a mental block. He gave me a small perscriptions anyway and told me to wait to fill it and see if knowing I have it helps any. It didn't, I waited a week, had no luck with her, and filled the perscription. A week of incredibly good sex, she's satisfied, I'm satisfied, everything else is incredible.. we're happy.

    Then, I'm out of pills... however the next time we go at it I'm fine... I get it up and all is well. Again the next day, I'm perfectly fine. At this point I'm thinking awesome.. it worked and I'm over it...

    Then it happened again. No idea why, I didn't feel anxious, I might've been overtired (hadn't been getting much sleep) or possibly stressed.. but it did. This is when I first saw her get somewhat vicious in response. It caused an argument and a couple unpleasant hours until things calmed down.

    Since then I feel like I've been putting too much pressure on myself to perform, and I haven't been able to. She gets more and more frustrated each time, as do I, and its really causing us to not be able to enjoy each other the way we had been.. it had been amazing up until this point.

    Now I don't know what to do. My dr. wouldn't give me another perscription and is testing my testosterone levels first. I seemed to have stopped getting erections during the day when thinking about sex. I get weak erections when masterbating. Even my morning wood has been pretty weak.

    Any/all thoughts/comments/advice are welcome. Specific questions I have are:

    1. Do I need to overcome this without help from medication?
    2. Is it possible something else could be causing it other than anxiety?
    3. I have no idea how to keep her satisfied (orgasms aren't enough..) while I try and get through this...

    Also: I've NEVER had the problem reoccur AFTER I had gotten over it with a particular girl... this is the first time.

    Blah. :wtc:
     
  2. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    Have you considered that maybe this isn't the girl for you? Sounds like you have a problem that is based in your head and she doesn't seem like she will be too great in helping you to overcome that. She needs sex all the time and you can't always fulfill that. Maybe your troubles getting it up are in response to the pressure she puts on you and her focus on sex. You're probably not that comfortable and that is made evident by your troubles getting an erection. If she can't handle it and will take it out on you I say leave her. There are other girls out there who will be patient and hopefully you will be able to get over this.
     
  3. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    She's like the girl version of me. I have a boner just reading about her. Thanks, I'm at work. I work around the elderly and families.

    Did you get viagara? Because normally prescription drugs either increase sex drive or decrease anxiety, not both and it's dangerous to mix the two because it screws with seratonin.

    Does she need a penis all the time or does she just need a man? Because you said orgasms aren't enough but what if you use a dildo while you two are together until you are ready? Or just a lot of foreplay?

    Now, I'm not one to suggest that drugs are the answer but drugs are the answer. Have you tried a few stiff drinks, some pot, or heaven forbid, MDMA? You could try only a gram of mushrooms. What these drugs do is break down the social conditioning in your brain and it gets rid of a lot of psychological blocks. Especially sexually.

    I'd say if the doctors tests are fine, go see a shrink or even better one that specializes as a sex therapist. You need someone to talk to to help you overcome these anxieties and a sex therapist has seen it a thousand times.
     
  4. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    If she has an addiction, she should be getting help. It seems like she isn't dealing with her problems the right way.
     
  5. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    I used to be in your situation, not with the ED, but with the nympho, or what I thought was a nympho. Honestly, I wish I was back in the days of having sex once a day. I work a lot, and I only get to see my girlfriend two days a week, but when I do, she wants to have sex at least 5 times a day. It gets tiring.

    But anyway, back to you. Sounds like she is only interested in sex, and that isnt something to base a relationship around. You should first accept that chances are, this relationship you have isnt going to last. Even if you get over everything and you have a raging hard on 24/7, chances are high, that you wont be with this girl in a year.

    My suggestion for you was already stated by a poster above me. Try giving her oral for a while, or using your fingers, or for christ sakes tellin her to go masterbate! its really not fair for her to put this pressure on you. stand up to her and simply explain to her that all this pressure is causing more problems than its fixing. Either she will understand and calm down, or she'll break it off.

    Besides, do you honestly want a girl who craves sex all the time? Whats going to happen when she starts looking to other people to please her?

    In my opinion, bail now. Find someone who is oth understandin of your problem and willing to help. Someone you can be fully comfortible with because she isnt putting pressure on you.
     
  6. Carl Brutananadilewski

    Carl Brutananadilewski Active Member

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    Send her my way; I'll help her out :naughty:

    jk, I'd say it's probably just stress or tiredness. Occasionally I've had the same problem, but it's never been an actual problem :dunno:
     
  7. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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  8. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Quote For Truth. Her problem is causing you anxiety because she's expecting a lot more from you than you're able to provide at the moment.

    You don't mistreat someone the way she's treating you. She's already got you thinking that you're the problem!
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    you know you can buy cialis online without a prescription right?
     
  10. Poz_Dispenser

    Poz_Dispenser New Member

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    Sounds like my g/f. And she is extremely unpleasant and annoying when she isnt receiving my cock. Imma tell her to read this thread.
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    sounds to me like you have Erectile Dysfunction.... which is probably why your doc is testing your hormone levels.

    It's somewhat normal to not get as hard if you've been having lots of sex (compared to if you haven't had sex for a month), but you should still be able to get it up :dunno:

    Wait to see what your doctor says. It sounds like the girl really likes you, to put herself through not being able to feed her addiction, but its very possible that it's just not going to work with her. Sad, but true.

    Hopefully the doctor will come back with a diagnosis of low hormone levels or some such, and give you some hormones which will solve everything :x:
     
  12. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    What do you consider nympho? You didn't say how often she wants to have sex. What is it, once a day? Three, four, five times?

    Some women use sex as a coping mechanism. My ex was like that. After a shitty day at work, or if she was stressing out, she'd want to fuck.
     
  13. RacerJ

    RacerJ New Member

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    i really doubt he has ED. sexual arousal is controlled by the autonomic nervous system... you can't "give" yourself a boner, and being stressed out or anxious makes it even harder (or flaccid-er?). if she's really unsatisfied with you to the point where you require medication just to please her, then that's fucked up and you probably shouldn't be with her
     
  14. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    except he has trouble getting it up period, and even masturbation he can't
     
  15. RacerJ

    RacerJ New Member

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    the medication could have screwed up his testosterone/hormone levels so now that he's off his body has to compensate for it. the combination of that, plus the argument/fight with this girl about it can definitely fuck your system up

    OP, how long exactly does it take for you to become "comfortable" enough with someone to be able to have sex with them?
     
  16. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I wish I knew what having a nympho gf was like...
     
  17. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Viagra doesn't work by decreasing anxiety or increasing sex drive.

    Using recreational drugs isn't going to help anymore than using prescription drugs either, both ways could lead to a reliance on the substance to be able to perform normally.
    I think that the best combination would be sex therapy (to work on the internal barriers) + cialis from time to time (focusing on trying NOT to rely solely on it but using only sporadically, and because of its long duration of action, it's harder to associate it with sex than with viagra) + a comprehensive non-pushy partner.
     
  18. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I have considered that but for me overcoming this with her is a big deal.. I feel like if I can overcome it with her, I can do it with anyone.. and ultimately that's what I want to do. I've run from the issue for too long by being a serial monogamist and staying in relationships that weren't right for me because I was afraid of the issue.
     
  19. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    :rofl: Trust me there has never been a time where I haven't WANTED to fuck her... Just times that I haven't been able to

    Viagra - worked great and I was good to go a few times after I was done with the prescription as well.

    Penis. She's addicted to the process of getting a guy hard and then getting him off. The problem for me is I can't find a consistent method for getting it up when I'm having the issue. Sometimes I'm good to go through just some light touching, sometimes it just takes making out/touching, sometimes I need oral, sometimes even oral doesn't work and only I can get myself up by using lube.. it's extremely inconsistent and frustrating.

    Alcohol tends to help me relax a bit as long as I don't have too much - unfortunately right now I'm laying off while training for a race.

    Considering this.. I've done it in the past for social anxiety/depression and used to be on medication for it briefly. Once the blood work comes back my doctor wants to send me to a urologist so I'm going to wait and see what goes on there first.
     
  20. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The situation is kind of weird.. we've both been in relationships for the majority of our young adult lives and both don't want a relationship right now.. I usually get the feeling when we're out drinking that she might want it to be something more than just going on dates and fucking (well, trying to at least). However we've made it clear to each other that we're not together and we can both see other people.. I have hooked up with other girls (no sex.. for obv. reasons) and I'm sure she's fucking other guys. I really don't have much in the way of expectations for this but I want to at least enjoy it for what it is now and overcome this..

    Giving her orgasms in other ways isn't an issue - that isn't what she's 'addicted' to - she gets defensive/frustrated when she can't get dick in her. I have explained it to her and in response she tells me her response is a product of her addiction, withdrawal,and not entirely her.

    Yes, because I love sex too. My inability to get it up doesn't mean I don't desire it.. because I do.. just as much as her. I've never not wanted to fuck when we've started getting hot and heavy. I think she is probably fucking other guys right now but I'm not concerned about it, I can go (try to) fuck other girls as well, we're open to that.
     
  21. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    How? I know nothing about Cialis in comparison to Viagra - are they much different?
     
  22. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Usually 2-3 times to day esp. when she's in a bad mood or trying to deal with something - definitely uses it as a coping mechanism. It isn't necessarily the frequency she wants it because I like it quite frequently myself :o just her reaction to not getting it.
     
  23. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I can.. it's just not as full of an erection as I'm used to.. and it goes away very very fast if I stop stimulation.
     
  24. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    It depends, really. Since I have a short history - here it is:

    First girl: Had to use morning wood to do it and even then I lost it when trying to enter via missionary - she had to get me hard w/ oral and get on top.. then I was good to go. Never happened again. Knew her/had been fooling around for a couple days.

    Second girl: First couple weeks we saw each other/fucked a ton and she usually had to go down on me to get me hard. Then went through a phase where I couldn't get fully hard and would cum quite fast (which is usually the case when I can't get a full on erection). Then probably after a total of 3-4 weeks I was normal.

    Third girl: Only fucked around two separate occasions.. need her to go down on me to get me up both times.

    The weird thing is even with my history of success in getting an erection from oral it hasn't been working with this girl.. she goes down and I stay flacid.. and she is in no way terrible at what she's doing. It takes work for me to even get myself up, I have to use lube or its not gonna work. The 5 or so times we had sex without me on viagra I got it up through kissing/touching
     
  25. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    My physician told me there is no risk of physical dependence, just psychological. As you seemed to be saying - me THINKING I need it to get up and therefore making myself need it to get up.
     

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