Problems staying hard during sex

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Buttons, May 7, 2007.

  1. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    Well I'm recently in a new relationship. Things are great. My only complaint is that I either can't stay hard during sex or I last a really short time. :wtc: This has never happened before and I can't figure out what is causing it. Any suggestions? I'll answer any questions anyone asks.:hsd:
     
  2. mandarin orange

    mandarin orange OT Supporter

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    i'm not sex expert.. but probably psychological?
     
  3. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    Yup, it's usually all in your head. You're probably just nervous about wanting to impress and satisfy her.
     
  4. mandarin orange

    mandarin orange OT Supporter

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    cause that used to happen to me during my first few times with my first gf. i'd get all turned on and stuff.. and i could stay hard for a long time.. but as soon and we started doing it and i put it in her.. i couldn't really feel that much and i just would go limp
     
  5. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    :hs: How the hell do i overcome this?
     
  6. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    :eek3: Thats exactly what it is! I put it in and thrust a couple times and :wtc:
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Is there something wrong with the relationship? Seriously though. Is there some underlying problem you are not admitting to us or yourself. Are you really attracted in her? Did she do something that now you can't get out of your head and maybe it's fucking with your head?
     
  8. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    Nothing at all. No problems in the relationship. Lots in common, get along great, enjoy company, very attracted to her (physically and mentally). :dunno:
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well then I got nothing :mamoru: I'm a girl, so past psychological shit I know nothing about male penis problems :dunno:
     
  10. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Its totally psychological :hs: just try and masturbate before you sex her to take care of the time issue. Loseing the erection issue is more difficult, but just try and relax, and not think about it. It will clear up on its own.
     
  11. Memor

    Memor Active Member

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    this exact same problem happened with the 2nd girl i ever had sex with...she was the kind of girl all the guys wanted and I somehow landed, and in the end I realized I was just psyching myself out with the idea of having to impress her and be some sex bomb right off the bat. Thankfully the first few times I played off some excuse about not being able to fuck, and before she could wonder I gave her head for like an hour to offset it.

    But eventually I learned to calm down, close my eyes (and as lame as this might sound typed out) - feel her body, her temperature, hear her breathing, the pressure of her skin against mine, and just relax my nerves...and the problem went away. Exact same problem you described. That's the best I can describe it...hope you can work through this homeboy :hs:
     
  12. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    could be due to your diet, lack of interest, stress, etc.
     
  13. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    I tried the masturbating beforehand thing, didn't work either. I think I just need to relax and not worry about it and hope it'll go away.:x:
     
  14. Hisma

    Hisma OT Supporter

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    I have this problem, it's pretty fucking irritating.
    I've had sex w/ 5 different women since I broke up w/ my ex (only gal ive actually loved), and of those 5, none of em could completely get me off. I could get THEM off, but for some reason I could never finish, and eventually go limp :wtc: This has nothing to do w/ still having feelings for my ex tho, since we broke it off close to a year ago and I have no desire to get back w/ her. Does anyone else have this problem, where they can't get off unless they are SERIOUSLY into a girl? All 5 of the girls were just casual encounters, for the most part. It just sucks because I love sex, but when I meet a girl that wants to have no strings attached sex (what most guys dream about), I can't get into it. WTF :wtc:
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well at least you know the true issue (not getting off unless you really care about the girl), this is kind of a nice thing...
     
  16. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    :werd: Just don't have casual sex.
     
  17. Hisma

    Hisma OT Supporter

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    i just dont know if its completely uncommon or not... because it seems most guys are comfortable w/ casual sex. It also bothers me since the women get emo over the fact I'm not able to finish. I also would like to know if this is something I can overcome eventually or its just the way some people are.
     
  18. Hisma

    Hisma OT Supporter

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    i haven't had a gf in close to a year tho... going that long would kill me. Sex isn't a big deal to me, but relationships are. I wish I could just enjoy it more
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2007
  19. Hisma

    Hisma OT Supporter

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    i can't believe i just gave out that much info about my personal life. Shit.
     
  20. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i don't think it's necessarily true that "most guys" are comfortable with casual sex, and you really shouldn't be worrying about what most guys are comfortable with, only what YOU are comfortable with. with your ex, you obviously experienced what real "lovemaking" is (as corny as that sounds :mamoru:) but seriously, sex is 100% better and more satisfying when you love the person and you know each other's minds and bodies. you are probably psyching yourself out during casual encounters and wondering why it's not as good as it was with your ex, when really there's no way it could be. to enjoy casual sex, you need to get into a certain mindset, and maybe you just can't do it anymore... but that is in no way a bad thing :)
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's the Vag. Even if any of us remembered you personally none of us would ever talk about it again outside the thread. No worries.

    PS-Girls get "emo" about a guy losing his erection during sex because, well, it's fucking embarrassing for us too! How would you feel if some girl was riding you and mid-thrust stopped, rolled off, and said "Meh, I'm over this."
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    get your penis completely hard before you penetrate her.

    throbbing.

    Work on it yourself with your hand if you need to. Sometimes I'll lose firmness and I know exactly what to do with my hand to get it fully hard again (I grasp my erection at the base with one hand and pull from base to head with the other hand).

    Additionally, kegel exercises will help tremendously.

    And when you masturbate and are about to climax, squeeze your PC muscles (the muscle that stop your urine stream) as hard as you can and stop masturbating. Doing that a few times when you jack off will help stregnthen the muscles and train your body not to come so quickly.

    And don't masturbate before you see her, that's some of the worst advice ever. If you can jack off, then get it back up soon after, why not come with her then wait till it comes back up and go again?
     
  23. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    don't worry about it and be confident that it will come back

    and if it doesn't, consider it to be a rare case of something temporarily wrong with your body

    i wouldn't be concerned unless that happened with some frequency

    once you start fixating and worrying about your sexual performance during the act, you are doomed
     
  24. Hisma

    Hisma OT Supporter

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    I suppose I need to find that "right mindset". But then again, I have a tendancy to overthink in every aspect of life, so I'm probably overthinking this one as well.
    & thanks for the encouragment lady goodman :big grin:
     
  25. Kinematic9

    Kinematic9 You my caucasian?

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    Actually, should make you feel somewhat better knowing that its not just you and there are other people here willing to admit it happened to them too..
    My current GF is amazing, i couldnt ask for someone more perfect for me.. Mentally and physically.. The first time we had sex i was super nervous in regards to making it spectacular.. and it happened to me. Then for the next 2 or 3 times after that that was stuck in my mind. I never had a problem like that before, but now that this mental block was there, i couldnt get over it.

    So i relaxed and just brought the fun back into it. Everything is fine now. It will work its way out and you will be fine
     

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