SRS problem with my girl and im going crazy

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Capicu, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    me + my girl got had argument, led to screaming, she thinks im capable of killing her because i screamed @ her. i screamed @ her because she screamed at me because i raised my voice because she raised her voice when i was trying to talk... blah man

    ok discussion started when she said i owe her for making her pay half her ticket to the movies today because im broke. she wanted to go to the movies and i said i don't have any money. she was basically like "well get some money then"

    so i gathered up change and watever else i could find and got 15 dollars. 1 ticket = $10

    she went on vacation to penn. with her fam. and before that we had agreed that we were going to the baseball game yesterday TOGETHER. now of course i was going to pay for her ticket, i was also going to pay for my friends ticket as a birthday present for him.

    she came back with a nasty ass attitude apparently trying to be all independant and watever, which is not like her at all.

    I was too busy to buy the tickets during the week so i was planning on buying the tickets @ the game after work.

    well i had a chance to call her during work and she told me she was running with her friend to go buy her ticket. i was like wtf we were supposed to go together, can you at least buy me a ticket please? and she says she doesnt have money to pay for me and she said, shes been wanting to go and o well shes gunna go blah blah. so i say damn thats fucked up we agreed that we were going to go to the game together. then her mom comes on and tells me that im rude and disrespectful and blah blah blah cuz i asked her to buy a ticket for me please. whatever.

    her friend comes on the fone and i tell her what the fuck is that shit i ask her to buy a ticket for me and she gets an attitude like that with me, im working i can't get out yet so i can't buy the ticket now wdf. and she says na dont worry everybody's been PMS-ing today she'll buy you the ticket.

    my girl comes back on the fone and i ask her if she can buy the ticket for my friend too. she goes no i don't have enough money.

    so i have to run out of my job to go buy the fucking tickets. lucky i work for my parents so i only got scolded. whew.

    well @ the game she tells me. "i'm going to a comedy club" and im like um wdf? because she never says shit like that to me unless im not invited....
    so i say um... so i guess im not invited? (shes been talking about US going to a comedy club together for quite some time now, but im kinda broke as hell). she gives me a look like "are you serious" and i just shrug my shoulders.

    later she says "im going to the labor day parade" and i give her a look like "ummmmm what?" and she says, yes i want you to come with me ok.

    well.. shit... ok. it just took me by surprise that she would tell me like that thought...

    now the problem i have that i posted in the asylum is that during the argument tonight, we started off having a discussion about who pays on dates and why i think its fucked up that the guy is always expected to pay for everything all the time. and she says she disagrees and blah blah blah, and she starts to raise her voice, and so do i. and she puts her hands in my face. so i push her hands down away from my face and i raise my voice too. she starts yelling and walks away, and i start yelling back,

    i'll admit i do have a tendancy to get pissed off quickly. in the past i've gotten pissed off really fast at her because i thought she was playing me. she used to not tell me shit which made me suspect her of playing. that developed into a huge trust issue but i fully trust her now, thats over and done with.

    another problem we had is that her mom wouldn't let her come to my house apparently because my parents never told her these exact words "you are welcome to come over whenever you want"

    so one day she just stopped coming to my house. i had never told my parents that she was officially my girlfriend, because i never felt the need to. they obviously new, and they liked her alot, they used to invited her over all the time for dinner and a bunch of other shit, my mother used to invite her to go places with us. but then she started declining the dinners and my parents stopped inviting her..

    this was VERY recent actually, i brought her over and told them and it was settled. apparently its still not settled because her mom is expecting my parents to tell her those exact words.. WDF my parents aren't like that, they have never told my best friends that and they love my best friends. WTF man. so my girl still wont come over and my parents keep asking me wdf is wrong that she doesnt come over anymore. her mom says that im disrespectful for asking what the problem is that she won't come over anymore.

    we had a ton of arguments over that shit.

    tonight well... tonight is different. she thinks im capable of killing her because i screamed after she screamed. she says shes scared of me and im abusive because i get mad, and because i blame her alot. the whole time im like WTF.

    of course i have a tendancy to get pissed off quick but only when i get provoked. she says that i think that everybody is always talking shit to me and i always expect people to bitch @ me and im always expecting the negative in everything.. which is not true actually

    im kinda an optimist. i hope for the best in everything and i don't expect anybody to bitch at me. i don't what the fuck. is there something wrong with me or is there something wrong with her?

    we've been together for about 2 years and 2 months.

    she also says we have a communication problem. and apparently its all my fault. she says shes tired of the arguments and me always blaming her. she says she cuts herself because she always feels like shit.

    she says i don't listen to her, thats why she uses hand gestures and speaks loudly, and i say i do listen and im always very attentive to her. i said i felt it was very disrespectful that she shover her hands in my face like that when i was just trying to talk. when she was screaming at me and is screamed at her, she shover a finger in my face infront of my mouth as if telling me to SHH.. right before that i shoved my hands in her face like she did to me and i was like ok you see how that feels thats not a nice feeling is it. and she says she didn't do that. i also put my finger in her face like she did to me and said the same thing.

    she says that was fucked up of me and she never did that.

    o also before that, she had walked out of the car and left her purse inside, and after she put her hands in my face and i pushed them away, she asked for her purse and said she was going to walk home, and i said no wait i want to talk, so we continued basically yelling at each other, not screaming quite yet but it was yelling. she came around the passenger side and reached inside, and i figured it was for her bag so i handed her her bag and said "ok heres ur fucking bag go ahead walk home" and she started screaming at me and i screamed back and thats what happened.

    damnit i don't know what the fuck to do
     
  2. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    i actually feel very bad at screaming @ her even though she screamed at me.

    i do admit i think i have an anger problem and i have been told so by my parents and my girlfriend too. i think this is because of shit i went through in grammar school and the beggining of highschool

    i say the beggining because the other 3 years were great.

    back in grammar school i used to get blamed alot for shit i never did and i would get introuble. this would lead to me missing alot of trips and shit. and then there was this one year where i got teased on really bad by basically everybody in the entire class, i really was going crazy back then. lol i laugh at it now but back then it was really hurtful to me. i wanted to fucking kill everybody in that school..... lol.

    one day this kid was calling me names and shit and i got pissed off and went to kick his ass, well nothing happened and i got suspended for a while. they said i couldnt come back to school until they took me to see a psychologist, that mother fucker didn't help me at all and i wanted to kick his fucking ass too.

    i don't even remember why he pissed me off, but he did.

    and the first year of highschool, 99% of the kids were fucking racist and so was my english teacher. im hispanic. 1/2 dominican and 1/2 venezuelan. but no. to them i was mexican.....

    the english teacher used to talk shit about me behind my back to the white kids saying i didn't understand what they were saying i dont speak english. i cursed the shit outta him. thank god i left the school and went to a different one. spent the next 3 years very happy, and now im about to start college and i can't wait.

    1 problem though. my girl and i have the same EXACT schedual. so it will be very awkward if we break up. i would have to see her multiple times everyday....

    i don't know what to do. i've already said that i accept the fact that i tend to get pissed off easy but i don't know what the hell to do in this situation. somebody help me please.
     
  3. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    sorry for this long shit people lol
     
  4. DreamDemon

    DreamDemon New Member

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    I have no advice to really offer you as I'm going through a bad time myself. I just wanted you to know that I read this, I feel your pain/confusion and I'm really hoping everything works out for you.
     
  5. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    thanks!
    :hug: lol
     
  6. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    pain crew signing in as well.
     
  7. Nsx9red

    Nsx9red New Member

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    I can get mad very easly at my gf too... You just got to use your head and think before of what you are doing before you yell shit..


    After two years of dating and she still get's mad about when she has to pay sounds a little greedy to me.. How about you get some money together take her out to a nice dinner and talk about what you are going through in a serious way... and by no means YELL at her again
     
  8. RotiEatter

    RotiEatter New Member

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    What race is your girl and her family?

    Her Mom sounds like a cunt and you're girlfriend sounds a bit tooo independent.
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I notice a recurring theme. You and she screaming, and she thinking you're going to kill her.
    Do you threaten physical violence? Be honest.

    Do you ACTUALLY threaten physical violence? (not covering her mouth etc)

    I could go into a long long thing about steps to try and save this relationship...but honestly...don't bother.

    There's much work you need to do yourself in learning to moderate your temper.
    There must be a small kernel of truth to her fears that you threaten her physical safety. That is just not cool under ANY circumstance.

    Having said that, I agree with the above poster, she sounds like a real cunt.
    Drop her. Work on improving yourself, and find a new girl.

    You could fix this one up a bit, but...don't bother. It's simple opportunity cost man. Too much effort input, too little return on investment.

    But work on that temper of yours. Else it will haunt every relationship, not just this one.

    PS. Those parents of hers? Don't be so sure you're getting the whole story, she could be slanting the story a bit. But they sound like jerks too.

    Makes sense cause they raised a little bitch, and where do you think she learned her behaviour patterns? Her little games? I am willing to bet she is Mommy's Little Girl in more ways than one.

    You have ample reason to leave. Do it soon.
     
  10. DarthKoRn

    DarthKoRn New Member

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    It sounds like your just casually dating this girl, and she sounds like a bitch. Dump her. Do it quickly.
     
  11. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    i have never threatened to hurt her in any way, most i've done is scream and slam a door or 2 but i've never made gestures to her that im going to hit her in any way. EVER

    i don't do that kind of shit

    as to what race she is, i don't understand what race has to do with anything but w/e

    shes from trinidad
    im 1/2 dominican and 1/2 ven.

    i spoke to her a little while ago and she sounded all happy so im like um wtf did you forget you were mad at me?

    and she says "i wasn't mad at you"

    my response is basically "........................................................................"
     
  12. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    <---also suffering heartbreak and pain.
     
  13. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    GGAAMMEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    she plays games, leave her at once.

    some how, some way, her parents, be it just her mom, or both have determined that they dont like you. so race does play into that, thats why she asked, do they make more moeny than you, less money, do you drive a crappy car, have yours and her parents ever talked to each other, was the sky blue yesterday, do you like the dodgers, do you hate baseball or any other sport, is your house white, is it green, do you wear flip-flops or sandles, theres 30487563204567-23945762-3498775476 reasons that her parents or mom can come up with to not like you.

    one girl i was dating, her parents ABSOLUTLY HATED me because i never opened her car door. and thats all it took, whenever her parents said anything she never backed me up, and nothing i ever did was ever good enough for their daughter. needless to say we broke up and she had been lieing to me for a year (about half of the relationship).

    once parents are against you, its a matter of time.
     
  14. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    update: we had a LONG talk today

    our problems are communication problems, her mom was bitching at me because my girl took something i said in a comletely different way because i didn't finish explaining it to her, and i flipped on her cuz she flipped on watever and blah blah blah

    we all good and imma get sum po0n lol

    THANK GOD that shit is over

    her mom is menopausical tho... LOL

    you see her mom was never like this until recently, and its all because my girl took some shit i said that i forgot different. watever im happy we are good now

    thanks for the advice/support/w/e lol:)
     
  15. jackpot

    jackpot boo

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    I didn't read, but I'm having relationship problems as well :wtc: It hurts like crazy even though there is a chance of saving this relationship. :(
     
  16. The Green Bastard

    The Green Bastard Click click click bang

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    My gf broke up with me the day after we made some plans for an upcoming weekend, and is being kind of strange.

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1969736
     

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