SRS Problem with motivation, sleeping in

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by eligh, Dec 4, 2004.

  1. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Let me begin this by saying I do have a problem with alcohol and drugs, I have been in recovery for 11 months, and have been clean 11 months tommorow. Also, I am in my 5th year at a University, and finals are next week. I have talked over my problem with my sponsor, and another friend, and I'm still not sure exactly what is going on.

    My problem is I can't stop sleeping in, on a daily basis, and I lack a serious motivation I should have for finals I will be lucky do well on. On an average day, I sleep from 1AM to 12PM and miss 1 class. The only reason I'm up right now, and feeling pretty good actually, is because I have work today. Everyday, I usually wake up feeling worse, having miss some obligation (except work) in the morning. It's like in that movie Office Space, where he says "Everyday is the new worst day of my life."

    I am going to elaborate a little more on exactly what happens inside my head. Many times when I wake up, I feel like what I had been dreaming is somehow more important than getting up and doing what I need to do. Going back to sleep always feels so good, and it turns into my number #1 priority until I feel rested (12 hours sleep).

    I've become so accustomed to being depressed from the hours of 11AM-7PM, by the time 7 rolls around and I feel somewhat normal, it's great. Unfortunately the first 8 hours of my day are often full of regret. I've stopped eating normally, and all I usually do at night is watch tv and smoke cigarettes to avoid thoughts of how unproductive my day was.

    I'll finish finals on Thursday, and maybe my mindset will change and I will be fine. However I'll be home for the holidays for three weeks, I really hope I am able to wake up on time and be somewhat productive during my vacation. I've ceased to enjoy life, I feel like I only exist in some half-ass manner, I don't really feel like using that much, but if I did I can't see how much worse it be really except for losing a little money.

    This problem has been getting worse and worse for like 2-3 months, next quarter I plan to schedule work 8AM-11AM on M-F, and hopefully that should work. Until then, I am trying to motivate myself to skate to the beach and pray when I get up, like I used to 6 months ago in recovery. I almost think only my Higher Power can help me with this, but any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for reading, if you got this far.
     
  2. Phish Esq.

    Phish Esq. New Member

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    Have you or are you seeing a doctor regardinging depression? It seems to go hand in hand with alot of addicts. Antidepressents can be a good thing if you need them.
     
  3. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    No, I haven't checked in with the doctors. I'd like to see if I can pull out of this without the assistance of anti-depressents ... I was happy for like 7-8 months with life, I should be able to do it again. I may go down that road pretty soon though if things don't change, thanks for the advice.
     
  4. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

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    if you don't want to try antidepressants, try taking some vitamins, especially a multi, calcium-magnesium, Vit. C and a B complex - that seems to help some of us - also get fresh air and some sunshine, take a walk and go to a 12-step meeting

    good luck during this hard time of year
     
  5. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    Yea, I think this time of year is kinda hard on a lot of people. It may not be all you, it could just be seasonal.
     
  6. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    If you don't want to read it, then don't comment on it.
     
  7. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Well, finals are over, and I've returned to my real home away from school. I feel a whole hell of a lot better, to say the least. I think getting away from the school environment in which I've been in for so long will refresh me. Also, getting out of my small upstairs apartment, and enjoying the roominess of my real home will help as well. Those who commented, thanks for the support, as of now I'm good ... hopefully I can bring some motivation back with me to Santa Barbara when I return for school after New Years.
     
  8. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Link doesn't work unless you're a member
     
  9. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    isolated anecdotal experience is hardly conclusive proof of a solution
     
  10. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Well, that's a neat exercise plan. I have my own, perhaps following it on a regular basis will motivate me to seek the spiritual guidance I need. Perhaps it will kickstart me back into the life I use to have, I'll give it a try.
     
  11. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    Don't seek a material solution to a spiritual problem
     
  12. johnyIROC

    johnyIROC 100% Rehabilitated OT Supporter

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    I have the exact same problem... for me it started in University when I didn't have to keep any sort of regulated hours. Now I have been out of University for 2 years and I can't shake it. I am at least 1 hour late for work every day. By the time I am at work I am ready to go for the day and kicking myself for sleeping in.. but when the clock is going off I don't even think twice about turning it off anymore.

    I am what you would call a binge drinker, but definitely not an alcoholic (I never drink on a weekday as a rule). I think this problem could be linked with some kind of depression... but other than this most things in my life are good... I have a girlfriend I love, a great job and satisfying hobbies. If I could get this beat I would be pretty much unstoppable.
     
  13. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Just because you don't drink during the week doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic. I didn't drink during the week most of the times throughout my addiction.

    I think first you should try not drinking for a month. If you're not an alcoholic, this should not be a problem for you. If that doesn't work, see a doctor. The line between binge drinking and alcoholism is very thin.
     
  14. Basal

    Basal OT Supporter

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    have the same prob here bud... :sadwavey:
    i dunno what it is... i've been on antidepressants for a year now, and i still get these episodes....

    motivation? shit..... i remember what that once was. everything seems to be a task. life has no meaning, no purpose. nothing works out fer me. the pressures keep piling on and on........

    fuck.... i dunno man. thanks for reading up to this point if u made it.
     
  15. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Make your life more busy if possible. I work full time now and I try to work out 3-4 days a week and hit 2-3 meetings a week. I really don't have time to be lazy anymore, the problem kind of worked itself out.
     
  16. Basal

    Basal OT Supporter

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    good fucking advice. yeah, i need to get my ass busy... it's like i'm unmotivated to get something done, but it's also cuz i get nothing done that i'm unmotivated. gotta break the vicious cycle. already applied to 2 jobs. got nuthin back yet. juss gotta wait i guess. gotta get my ass productive.
     

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