LGBT Problem with being The Gay: Crushing on the straight man

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Konowl, Mar 7, 2010.

  1. Konowl

    Konowl New Member

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    Backstory: I'm openly gay at work. I don't prance around telling everyone, it's rare I'm asked, but it's assumed and held true by most. Quite frankly, I don't care either way, but I have no problem checking out guys or saying they are hot.

    So anyways, I've crushed hard on someone who does deliveries for me. I've joked around with him, done some mild flirting. Today, the plot thickens and out of the blue he asks me out for a beer. I don't want to make too much out of this, and I don't know if he's gay or not.....

    But my main question is... if you think a guy is hot, and don't know if he's straight or not, how do you approach the situation? I'm very confident and very alpha male'ish, but I'm always worried about creeping out the straight boys - they are a very defensive breed.

    My intentions are to go out for a beer and see where it goes. I've given subtle clues, but he's very shy (which is so hot!!!) but still quite confident. Should I make it perfectly clear when we go for our beer as to my intentions with him? I don't want to be friends with him, as I don't believe in being friends with someone you are crushing on.
     
  2. stevenlk

    stevenlk New Member

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    so does he know you are gay?

    i guess since you arent the type to have make friends with someone you are crushing on then you could let him know your intentions. nothing to lose from ur point of view.
     
  3. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    happens to all of us. If he's cool enough, he'll probably just say "thanks but no thanks".

    Happened to me a few years ago. Was totally crushing on an apparently straight guy. We went out for a business lunch. We had a great time. Great conversation. Great laughs. So, I called him and asked him out for dinner. There was a pause, and he says "Is this for business, or?" and I said "Basically, I'm asking if you play for my team!"

    He got really nervous, but said "Um, no. Thanks, but no." And I said "OK, well, I figured I'd ask". And we both hung up quickly.

    I'd see him at business conferences after that and we were still really nice to each other... so thankfully that worked out ok.

    So, I'd be blunt with him if you feel comfortable. And if he's not gay, and cool enough, it shouldn't be a big deal. :dunno:
     
  4. Konowl

    Konowl New Member

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    Yeah I just found out today he's like 10 years younger than me too, ouch.... I'm not sure what I'll do yet, I think I'll just go out for a beer and see what his intentions are... it was his idea, after all. Not sure if I'll be blunt or not... if he hasn't picked up my subtle cues yet I might have to beat him over the head with bluntness.

    As my overtly straight workout partner said... ask him if he wants to go out for a Beer and some dickintheass hahahaha.
     
  5. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...is there an update?
     
  6. Konowl

    Konowl New Member

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    I felt him out asked some questions... he's had a GF for a year now, blah blah blah. Then he invited me out for St Patties day with his buddies. He's 21, I'm 32. I'm like "um I dunno I'd feel weird around your buddies" and he responded "who cares we're all men just a bunch of drunk 21 year olds!". Oh, the thoughts that went through my head....
     
  7. BTCollins

    BTCollins I met a gypsy and she hipped me to some life game

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    haha bummer..

    I was telling my roommate about how bad it sucks being attracted to straight guys, I don't think he understood but yeah,i'm on the same page you are..
     
  8. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    That's a hard one but if you are honest today you save yourself from getting a crush on him and then find out he is not gay...that would suck. Been there, done that, gonna run a store of those tshirts :( :ugh:

    Honesty worked great for me, I'm fucking happy these days because I'm in love with someone that feels the same for me :o
     
  9. Nitwit

    Nitwit New Member

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    Just put them in a position to talk about homosexuality and how they feel about it. That always opens them up. I've hooked up with some "straight" guys in the past by doing just that.
     
  10. Drloveless

    Drloveless Mac Crew

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    awww 32 awww r u hot?
    LOL
     
  11. smartypants

    smartypants New Member

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    lol at crafty gay dudes swindling straight guys into blowing them.

    well done gentlemen.

    but don't use your witchcraft on me :squint:
     
  12. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    it's wizardry
     
  13. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  14. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    :rofl:
     
  15. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Updates??
     
  16. passca

    passca New Member

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    You are very lucky,just tell him what you want
    Don’'t waste the time of you two
     
  17. Bacchus

    Bacchus Skinny Guy

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    a good friend of mine has constantly asked me to give me head, and i had always turned him down.

    now that i've come out to him, he's no longer interested.

    what's up with that?
     
  18. Bib-Lettuce

    Bib-Lettuce New Member

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    He was trying to get a straight boi to suck him off?
     
  19. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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  20. Konowl

    Konowl New Member

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    All right, hung out with him a bit... just gonna be up front and tell him I think before I start torturing myself anymore. I can't figure him out, I hung out with him and my straight buddies last night and even they can't figure him out. My buddy send me a text saying "He keeps staring at you..." hahaha. A lady friend, who is phenomenal at reading body language, said he's confused. I'm just annoyed cause I'm crushing on him now. Silly me.
     
  21. elevator

    elevator The tenants think it's wonderful! ヽ(´ OT Supporter

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    I has a "straight" friend that once I came out to him, he started calling me talking about his girlfriend. He comes over at 10 on some nights just to sit and talk. He told me that we just click the best out of all his friends....

    I still swear he's a gayfer
     
  22. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    Been there done that, now I avoid confused people...that's a trainwreck waiting to happen. Be clear with him and if he doesn't take a clear stand....stop thinking about him.
     
  23. Konowl

    Konowl New Member

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    Yup that's what I'm doing. As much as he's growing on me as a friend even, I'm not playing these games anymore. I'm making it perfectly clear next time I hang out with him that I'm The Gay, I'll see what his response is and I'll go from there. If he's confused.... well... I can get that out of him... ;)
     

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