problem (relationship)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Big Dave, Jul 29, 2006.

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  1. Big Dave

    Big Dave Active Member

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    ok so I have been married to my wife for 7 years. My sister in law is married to my wifes brother and they have been together for 4 years. I have had the biggest crush on this girl for 3 years now. Not just a wham bam thank you mam kinda crush, but a girl i would like to marry kinda crush.

    So today I call her and ask her if she can talk and she says yes. I tell her that i have something to ask or tell her but no one can know especially my wife and her husband. I asked her if she still wanted to hear what i had to say and she said yes. So to make a long story short I went through everythign basically telling her that I have a crush on her.

    She i sbeing very quite on the other line and I ask her if she is mad at me and she said no not at all. I ask her what she thought about what I just told her and she said that she had no idea and is dumbfounded, shocked. I asked her again if she was sure she wasnt mad at me for telling her this and she said no again.

    So basically I told her to just think about what I told her and talk to me when she is ready to. She agreed to this and that was the end of the talk.

    So what do you think is happening?
    Am I a complete ass for doing this?
    Or is it along the lines of if you are not happy try to make yourself happy?
    If she gets back with me and says yes she is intrested what should we do from there?
    should we do the entire dateing thing before we tell our s/o's?
    whats the dealio?
     
  2. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i think youre an ass. you owe it to your wife to resolve things with her before you start pursuing other women....which is what you are doing (and a little too close to home, imho).


    :ugh:
     
  3. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    Okay, first of all i have to say...WOW my mouth just dropped when i read that.
    My first impulse is to tell you you crossed MAJOR boundaries when you told her this. First of all, you now threw away your vows to your wife, you crossed the boundary between the other woman and her husband. Most of all, you did a big No-no. ... you told the OTHER woman how she felt before you told your WIFE how she felt.
    This tells me alot. Now, your feelings for this other woman might be legitmate, or they might be a sexual fantasy youve had for awhile.
    The fact that you told this other woman first, before you came clear to your wife is a signal to me. This means that you value the wife's emotions more, becaus eyou were willing to protect her from feeling betrayed.
    Now, if you still feel as if you want to be loving this other woman, try this exercise.
    try writing out what youd tell your wife if you decide to divorce her and leave her for this other woman. Would you regret it? would you feel her pain? would you be able to deal with the shame and humiliation?
    Also, perhaps your love for the other woman may be platonic.. meaning you love her from afar. But youve enver lived with this woman, its all fantasy. Perhaps if you lived with her, you'd know her better, and what you THOUGHT this other woman was, never really existed.
    Also, perhaps what this other woman is to you is a sexual fantsy. however, the damage has already ben done. You have put the other woman in a very uncomfortable and compromising position with her husband... what will you do if her husband comes after you? what will you do if your wife finds out this information.....from the other woman??
    before going further, i suggest you come clean to your wife, regardless if you leave her or not. She deserves that respect, even if nothing further happens between you and your "crush".
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So, the part I put in bold should have been enough to stop you. You shouldn't have told her anything, unless she got out of her current relationship, and you got out of yours.

    What you just did, was at the very least, make things VERY VERY AWKWARD between, you, her, and probably between the family members.

    Another thing I'm confused about...if your sister in law is married toyour wife's brother....doesn't that mean the married couple is brother and sister? Or did I misinterpret?

    But back to the point. What you did was very very stupid, and was on some level, you starting to end things with your wife.
     
  5. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :eek3: How absolutely incredibly immature and disgusting. You owe it to your wife to break things off with her FIRST before you have an affair with her sister in law. Have you no respect at all for her and the 7 years you have spent together?

    To be completely honest I hope she tells your wife and you get what is coming to you. Your wife deserves so much more than a cheating lying husband. If she doesn't make you happy, please seek a divorce.
     
  6. Jennipher

    Jennipher Dontcha know OT Supporter

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    I bet anything your sister in law is going to spill this information. Which is actually the best thing that could happen for your marriage. Your wife can see what absolutely low acts you're willing to do, and decide for herself if you're worth keeping around.


    "she said that she had no idea and is dumbfounded, shocked." -- You can pretty much take this as you made her uncomfortable, and it was so awkward she had no idea what to even respond with.
     
  7. MagicGAT

    MagicGAT New Member

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    Did you marry before you were ready to settle down :dunno:

    Did you plan on telling your wife before the day you hand her the divorce papers
     
  8. Homeless

    Homeless New Member

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    Oh my...sounds like something really bad is about to happen in your life
     
  9. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I'm sorry, but this just sounds entirely too fake. I call :bsflag:
     
  10. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    This has to be a joke.
     
  11. Cthalupa

    Cthalupa New Member

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    Edit: I don't know. My brain is broken.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2006
  12. Big Dave

    Big Dave Active Member

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    nope not a joke.

    And yep she told her husband.
    Got a call from him today.
    wasnt to happy.

    so today has sucked pretty bad.
    told my wife about it, she was upset for a little while but got over it.
    Never do that again, thats for sure.

    I am perfectly happy with my wife, she is a great mother, wife, bread winner, ect...

    I have some problems that need to be ironed out. Once those are taken care of I am sure I will think a lot more straight from now on.

    cocaine is a hell of a drug.
     
  13. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Is your wife on drugs too?
     
  14. Big Dave

    Big Dave Active Member

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    oh no..
    she didnt even know i was doing them.

    she is a miss goodie tooshoes
     
  15. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Maybe that is why she is a "great wife, she is a great mother, wife, bread winner, ect..." and you're a piece of shit cocaine user hitting on his sister in law.
     
  16. PukeyCute

    PukeyCute New Member

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    This is ridiculous. No sane woman would "get over it" or stay with you, especially after you've once again shown your Winning Attitude by calling her a goodie twoshoes because she doesn't snort lines lolooolz. I call BS. I also call "trying to make as graceful an exit as possible."
     
  17. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :werd: I would be she's planning the divorce right now.
     
  18. Big Dave

    Big Dave Active Member

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    lol oh the ironing
     
  19. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I would bet you don't even know how to iron :mamoru:

    In all seriousness though... where is the irony in this? I don't see it.
     
  20. Big Dave

    Big Dave Active Member

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  21. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :hsugh: goyou.jpg

    That insult hardly holds up in the main forum, I'm not going to go cry over it here. I'm sorry if you can't handle me telling you the truth. Your wife is an absolute idiot if she stays with you. You don't show any remorse over what you did nor do I think you comprehend what you did yet.
     
  22. PukeyCute

    PukeyCute New Member

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    I don't know if anybody's informed you, but most people grow up when they graduate high school. Oh, wait, my bad, did you graduate? Or are you still working your way to that shiney little GED? Pussyhurt much?

    ... I'll stop feeding the troll now :/
     
  23. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    You're retarded and I hope she divorces you.
     
  24. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :rofl: she's got you backed into a corner, and you know damn well she's right. You just can't admit it and have no comebacks so you resort to this shit??

    What a waste of skin.:ugh:
     
  25. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :mamoru: But he's so much better than me because he's been on OT for 2 more months than I am! I should be so ashamed of myself for even thinking of telling the truth to such an OG :mamoru:
     
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