problem getting it up

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Project X, Dec 26, 2005.

  1. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    my gf and i have been goin out for a year now and we havent really had sex yet.. she and i both kinda decided we would wait till marriage or wait till we know we are ready. shes had a few partners before and i have had none. i dont have any problems gettin my guy up when i get head or hand job etc.. but some times my girl is really into it and she wants me to put my penis inside her and i guess just mess around or whatever.. i dont know what it is.. i guess i think about it then or something and after getting inside her pussy my penis goes down or basically i go down before i go inside of her.. there were times she has gotten mad.. and times where i kinda knew she wanted to turn me on so we could kinda have sex and i could tell she was fustrated.. i think the main thing is i think about it cuz i havent really done it before and we dont use a condom and i dont know how far she wants to go with it etc.. and i have noticed that i think my penis goin down when im bout to get inside of her.. anyone know what i shoudl do or have any advice?

    do those herbal medicines work? to help keep an erection etc?
     
  2. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    Perhaps you have a fear of being a father, because if you don't use a condom, you most certainly will be before too long.......usually around 9 months.

    Obviously you're young and somewhat inexperienced. Take your time, protect yourselves from unwanted children, relax and enjoy yourselves. When it's right, it will work.
     
  3. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    im not that young.. and i just want to know why it happens to me.. cuz i am into it and i am hard.. but right before i go inside her or after bein inside her for a bit i go down..
     
  4. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    I used to have the same problems a lot.

    My problem was I would start worrying about doing something stupid like losing my boner, and in doing that, I would stop focusing on what was making me horny in the first place (her), and I would lose it.

    As dumb as it sounds, what helped me out was to get drunk and have sex with her a few times. When you're drunk, you'll be extremely horny, and she will be all that is on your mind.

    After a few times of doing it that way, you'll already be experienced and won't be nervous anymore.

    It may sound stupid, but it works.
     
  5. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Your clearly scared of something. I'd be scared shitless if I didnt have protection seeing as my life is hard enough and the thought of a kid is too sureal to even consider. Wear protection. Clearly something is wrong with your side. You need to think about what you think about that makes it go down. Because for some reason when your about to have sex something makes you think twice. What is making you think twice and not wanting you to go foreward?

    If it's nervousness then just relax bro. It's sex. This isnt some form is a sacred art that will kill you if you fail. Your just sticking your junk in her package.

    Bah answer my questons first and then maybe you can go from there. I'm not gonna try to list all the posisiblities that I can think of on my own.
     
  6. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    like before her i havent been with anyone and i really didnt do anything.. and i still havent really have sex with her.. shes been with a few ppl and sometimes that bothers me.. so when shes with and doing stuff to me i sometimes think about man is this how she was with the other guys she was with.. and it kinda sucks.. and i guess i dont know what i wanna do.. like im thinkin does she want to try to have sex for a lil bit.. like i know she wouldnt want to go all the way and i know she would stop before i cum.. sometimes she gets horny so she does it or i may bring it up.. and i would htink if we used a condom or if i put it on i would have a even harder time with this..
     
  7. CrazyInteg

    CrazyInteg Honda-Acura.net OG

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    This works for me too :hs:
    Not actually drunk, but I noticed everytime I had drank a few beers before then everything worked great. Alcohol is a depressant and it relaxes you.
     
  8. Ryuhei

    Ryuhei Oh gawd

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    The Dr. is in. ;-)

    Your original post answered your question. First you say you kinda want to wait until marriage and then you say,

    "but some times my girl is really into it and she wants me to put my penis inside her and i guess just mess around or whatever."

    That's sex. That's not waiting until marriage. That causes conflict in your mind and naturally, problems. You also said,

    "...times where i kinda knew she wanted to turn me on so we could kinda have sex."

    Kinda have sex? You do or you don't. If your penis enters her vagina you are having sex--all the way. This next one is the biggest indicator you will have problems,

    "i dont know how far she wants to go with it etc.."

    Guy, COMMUNICATION is the most important thing in a relationship! The problem here is that you're conflicted and your intentions are not clear; not only to your woman, but worse, YOU! Decide FOR SURE what you want to do, share it with her, and do it. If you're waiting until marriage tell her that clearly and let her know that vaginal intercourse is NOT going to happen...at all. If you're not waiting until marriage just buy some condoms and go at it with a clear conscience. It'll work much better!

    Not to be cocky, but I've solved your problem. Your mind is a mess and it needs sorting. Do that and you'll be much happier and more confident. HAVE FUN!
     
  9. Ryuhei

    Ryuhei Oh gawd

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    PS
    Getting drunk in order to perform sexually, especially the first time, is an absolutely horrible idea. Be confident, communicate, and know what you are and are not willing to do. That works much better.
     
  10. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    why is there not a sticky that addresses this issue? Its only posted almost daily...

    Its just as bad as the "i think i am pregnant" threads
     
  11. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    We both have talked about it and basically she agreed that she wants to wait till marriage with me...because she feels it would be more special. Even though she has a few partners she is willing to wait.

    Its just that sometimes we get really into and out of no where she kinda hints on what she wants.. just to mess around. the first time she did this i told her she took away my virginity and she was like no i didint.. and we got into this debate about it doesnt matter if i got off or not, it was vaginal penetration...etc.

    basically we have talked about it but there are times it just happens and thats when i guess i am not sure or think about it and it doesnt work..
     
  12. Ryuhei

    Ryuhei Oh gawd

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    Sounds like you need to talk more. If she's trying to say she wants to wait until marriage but that it doesn't count if you don't ejaculate that's just silly. It's still sex and not "just messing around." You want to wait, she doesn't. The end.
     
  13. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    honestly.. now i dont know if i want to wait till marriage cuz of what we have been doin.. i feel like i already lost it from the times we did mess around even if it wasnt for that long.


    does anyone else have issues with their gf's past.. knownin they have had multiple partners? i havent been with anyone but her and sometimes it does distrub me. also we talk aobut how we want to get married and stuff.. its just hard to deal with. im out of college in case you were wondering.
     
  14. Ryuhei

    Ryuhei Oh gawd

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    If your penis has been in her vagina you are not a virgin. HOWEVER, if you still aren't comfortable with sex there's no reason to do it now just because it's been in her. You need to be comfortable with your choices since you cannot undo them.

    As for the other partner thing. I guess it's again all about what you're comfortable with. It's never bothered me. Sex is fun so people do it. My wife is with me now and only sexes me. Doesn't bother me.
     
  15. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    The real problem here is that you are very jealous that she has more experience than you, and really pissed she's been fucking other guys. You keep coming back to that same theme time and time again.

    You are young and have great affection for this lady....this is understandable, however, she's no virgin, thus admit to yourself she's been doing the "Dew" with other dudes. If you can't get past this, then (1) give it up - cut her loose and let go; (2) go to church and date virgins...after all, that's what you are really looking for; or (3) declare yourself gay and que sera, sera.

    Solution - Admit it..........you ain't her first rodeo.
     
  16. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    about the past thing.. its not just that.. before we started dating she was hookin up with my ex best friend.. he told me he had sex with her.. she said they just hooked up.. made out and shit..


    but i do need to get over things.. ive been this girl for a year now and im need to relax and communicate better with her... if it comes down to sex. i need to go wiht it and not think about it.
     
  17. shaiboy

    shaiboy New Member

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    watch gay porn?
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    your erection is the least of your problems... sort the other stuff out and it will go away on its own.

    you sound way too confused and unsure of yourself and your girl. clear up some of the mystery. decide if you really want to have sex with her or not. It doesn't sound like you really do. Ask if she wants to have sex with you or not. (use something along the lines of "I want to make love to you" not some lame "ummm.. i was wondering if you might want to have sex with me...")

    then you have to put everything else out of your mind... Who cares about the past? shes with you now. Sex is supposed to be fun and exciting. if its not, then don't bother trying.
     
  19. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Wow, I think this deserves a ban. What a fucking idiot.
     
  20. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    werd.

    every guy i have been with has had a problem at least once, for many reasons (typically due to drugs, alcohol or anxiety). granted, i dont have a large sample source, but im pretty confident its normal (or im just really ugly :mamoru: )

    relax, it will pass.
     

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