Problem a friend has.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by forgotmyname, Jan 28, 2010.

  1. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    So this girl got married at a young age. She said she loved him but also wanted to get out of her parent's house. Fast forward two years later and she is not with him anymore (Legally, they are still married). He doesn't want to give her the divorce. However that's one of her problems. She still loves him but not as a partner.

    She moved out of town and now is living with uncle.

    Now she has found out a new guy whom knows for a month. This guy moves a lot (Navy) and he has already proposed her to move with him. Her family would like her to go back with his husband but she is not sure.

    She aknowledges that she only knows this new guy for a short time, but she is afraid that if she agrees to move, her family would disapprove of this and she'll get kicked out and have no choice but to move with him anyways.

    No kids. Should she go back with old husband or move in with new guy.
     
  2. Aquakittie

    Aquakittie Active Member

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    she should do NEITHER....both ideas are horrible and hasty and ill advised and poor judgment.
     
  3. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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  4. VA197

    VA197 New Member

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  5. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    Ak :h5:

    what is stopping her and her husband from working things out? i mean it is a marriage, you can't just run when the going gets tough unless there are irreversible damages to the relationship of course.
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Simple answer: Because she doesn't want to. If she did, she'd already be doing it. So you're saying she should stay in a relationship she doesn't want to be in out of obligation because she made a foolish decision when she was young?
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    She needs to get her shit together and learn to take care of herself. If she was able to support herself on her own she wouldn't be in this position
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She's clearly a moron.

    Moving with the new guy would be a huge mistake.
     
  9. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    she should divorce her husband AND get to know a person for more than a month before she moves somewhere with them.
     
  10. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Women run from their problems all the time... :squint:
     
  11. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

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    fixed
     
  12. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    agreed. not just a moron, but a weak pathetic person.
     
  13. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

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    sounds like she needs to focus on getting financial and emotional independence and maybe live on her own for a while.

    until she knows who she is as a person, she won't be able to pick the right guy and have a lasting, successful marriage.

    /soapbox
     
  14. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    What does this even mean? How come women can't find themselves and know who they are when they are in a relationship? Is this girl code for she needs to sleep around with men to figure out what she wants for herself in life?

    Women are just fucking crazy and don't know, will never know what they want.

    /soapbox
     
  15. Mr. November

    Mr. November Guest

    That's a laughable statement. :ugh: Both sexes run from their problems.
     
  16. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Why has nobody mentioned Option 3: Move out and live on her own for once in her life? Living with parents, living with husband, living with uncle, thinking of living with new guy...fuck, if she's lived with a man her entire life, no wonder she has no idea what she really wants.
     
  17. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Try again, hoss. NOBODY can find themselves and know who they are when they are in a(n intimate) relationship. By definition, a relationship involves parts of your personality becoming interconnected with someone else's, and unless you have the discipline of a Buddhist monk, it can be hard to tell after a while how you would behave without the other person's influence. Even happily-married couples need time alone (preferably a little bit each day instead of long separations) in order to maintain their identities.

    I lived with my parents when I was a kid, obviously, and then I went to college and lived with roommates for four years. Now, I did grow as a person during that time, but man, I tell you what, I grew more as a person in my 9th semester when I was living alone next to the beach than during all 8 previous semesters combined. You don't really learn who you are until you have absolutely nobody else to distract you from yourself.

    If you happen to have a beach conveniently located two blocks away, that you can sit on and listen to the waves in the middle of the night...that helps too.

    No, but that's usually what happens, because being alone would require...well...being alone. Women might be raised to learn the functional skills required to maintain their living space without help, but psychologically I think it's a lot harder for them to have nobody to talk to than it is for men.

    If women tend to follow the stereotype of being lost without strong men to guide them, it's because they usually follow their instincts to move from one man to the next for protection's sake, NOT because they are incapable of finding their own direction in life.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2010
  18. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

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    this means that when you're young and immature and you go and get married to someone who essentially takes care of you, you do yourself a disservice by not learning how to be self-sufficient and you also start to define yourself based on your role in that relationship rather than on your own terms REGARDLESS of gender

    :werd:
     
  19. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

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    dot
     
  20. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    What do you mean "follow their instincts to move from one man to the next"?
    Women's instincts are telling them to fall in love, fall out of love, then move to the next guy in line?
     
  21. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    No, that's not what I mean. What I mean is that most women (based on my experience, anyway) won't willingly put themselves in a situation where they have no man in their life, whether it's a husband or a boyfriend or a male relative, because doing so is very uncomfortable on an instinctive level. It's much easier to tolerate a man you're tired of, but who will still kick any other dude's ass who puts a hand on you, than to not have any backup. And for good reason -- back in caveman days, before we invented police, a woman without a man to stand up for her was a woman asking to get raped. Nobody wants to get stuck having some dude's baby if they don't love them.
     
  22. Capt. Slow

    Capt. Slow Member

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    Sounds like she is a pretty impulsive person.
     
  23. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Not to mention that being a military wife is freakin' HARD!!!
     
  24. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    move back with husband and work things out, at least for long enough that she grows up and realizes that running away with some e3 was a really bad idea.
     
  25. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    she should slap herself for being so greedy
     

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