SRS probation/in a rut/ overwhelmed (kind of long)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Killuminati, Jul 6, 2007.

  1. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

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    First off let me give you a little backstory of what's going on. I got put on probation for a DUI about 6 months ago. While on probation I did something really stupid and failed a drug test for coke. I did only one line (no one seems to believe me), I really don't even like the shit. I can't even really believe I did it myself.. I was very depressed at the time and really just did not care about myself. I had never felt that way in my life just so down. I had just broke up with my girl and was like fuck it. And I know that is no excuse for what I did, I realize it was my own fault I did it and have to live with the consequences. Anyways they tried to revoke my probation. I went to my hearing and suprisingly the judge went easy on me. He sentenced me to 2 days in jail and is making me attend an intensive outpatient rehab program. He thinks I'm a coke addict and I can't really blame him... My revocation hearing was probably one of the most stressful times of my life, everyone else in the courtroom besides me got their probation revoked. A couple days after I got out of court my dad was taken to the emergency room and was put in ICU for 5 days he has the west nile virus. He almost died due to brain swelling. But he is recovered now. The following weekend, I served my 2 days in jail and that was stressful enough. Fast forward a week later and my debit card got stolen and someone used 500 dollars out of my account.. All of this just stresses me out I don't like the drama I like to stay low key. As you can see I feel very OVERWHELMED.

    Now on to the point, I took out a loan for 3 grand to pay my lawyer and other court fines/fees. I found out the rehab is going to cost me anywhere between 3 to 4 thousand. And the counselor seems to think I'm a coke head. :hs:

    So, basically I'm around 7,000.00 in debt because of doing one line of coke. I've just been so stressed out worrying about how I'm going to afford all of this really. I don't think I'm depressed just extremely stressed out and worried about all of this. I just feel like I'm in a rut and cannot get out. Financially mostly. I don't think I can pay for all this. I am also extremely disappointed in myself.

    I don't know what advice I'm really looking for here just wanted to vent really. And I'm sorry if the story is hard to follow, i was just typing.
     
  2. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i know what you are saying. i havent been in your exact situation but i have had 2 dui's, been on probation once (for something unrelated). while on probation, got picked up by the cops for drinking (on my no-drink probation), sat in jail for 30 days, had to go to out-patient aoda in order to not get revoked. depending on your income, you could qualify for some financial assistance at your rehab. thats what happened to me! i think i only had to pay a couple hundred bucks.

    i am sure you have already learned your lesson about all this stuff, but just make sure to fly right from here on out. you dont want to put any extra stress on your family having to worry about you AND your dad.

    one thing that helps me get through tough times is to pray. :dunno: it might not be your thing, but for me, i dont really like leaning on other people all the time, but praying lets me talk stuff out.

    good luck.
     
  3. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

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    OH definitely I'm flying right. I appreciate the support bro. I go tomorrow for intake....
     
  4. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    How old are you?
     
  5. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

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    23 time to grow up I know.

    I start my classes this Monday. It's group counseling 4 nights a week! 3 hours each time... and also 3 AA meetings a week for 3 months. Man, that's a lot of my time looks like this will be my life for a while. :hs:
     
  6. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    You're already involved in the process, so you minus whale get as much out of it as you can. This is a huge opportunity for you to grow. Face it head on and appreciate it. You'll be better for it in the end. :hs:

    Best of luck and Godspeed :hsd:
     
  7. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

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    Thanks

    I don't even think I can afford all of this... 75.00 a week plus 2 drug tests a week which cost 15.00 each time. Plus I have to drive about 30 minutes to get to the treatment place... 4 times a week. It will probably be around 130.00 a week including gas. :hsugh: Man, I don't know what to do. I'm gonna have to let one of my bills go so I can pay for this. On top of that I'll probably have to quit working overtime because of the damn classes.
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    the reason they think you are a coke head is because coke doesnt stay in your system very long, so generally the people who fail tests for it are addicts
     
  9. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

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    Yeah I know. The counselor also thinks I have a problem. He accused me of lying on my intake about my drug use... :hsugh:

    It kinda pisses me off he sits there and calls me a liar. But I guess I just have to play my cards right.
     
  10. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    if he is really calling you a liar to your face, he is a pretty poor counselor.
     
  11. Killuminati

    Killuminati New Member

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    I told him what happened and he said this is how much I think you are bullshitting me and raised his hand up really high.......
     

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