SRS Probably the 41341th girl problem youve read today

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by LudaMan, Mar 8, 2005.

  1. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    Alright so here is my situation. Theres this girl named Kelly that ive known for over 6 years. It started as online buddies, because she lived in minnesota and I live in Iowa. We grew very close and i could trust her with anything. She became my best friend, and she visited a few times. Those few times we visited, we kinda fooled around and that even made us even closer.

    The last two years, i would talk to her on the phone almost every night and it really felt like someone was around who truly loved me and cared for me. The "L" word was used and i meant it. There was just one problem. She got very attached, as did i, but she was a very needy girl. One small problem, i thought, and i was excited to hear that she was coming to Iowa State to go to school, because of their good science program and because i only live a half an hour away. Great i thought, i will get to see her every weekend.

    Now we never dated, because we wanted to wait until she was closer for us to do that, and so i started visiting her once during the school week and she would spend the weekend at my house almost every weekend. The problem was that she was wanting to see me more than that, and i couldnt handle that, because i worked 30 hrs a week and was a full time student at DMACC, which is 20 min away from ISU.

    Now after a few fights and some long talks, we decided to be friends for now. I met another girl who lives a lot closer and started to date her. Her name is Emily. Now Kelly got extremely angry, saying how she wanted to be with me and how she loved me. That led to a fight that made us not talk for three months.

    Now its three months later, and she IM's me out of the blue. Its a little awkward but she wants to be friends again. She told me she couldnt stop thinking about how much she misses my friendship and she wanted things to be ok. And i'd be lying if i said i didnt miss her either. But she blamed all this on me and still does. All the other fights i swallowed my pride and apologized but the one three months ago i did not.

    So weve talked a couple times and she wants to be friends, but she says she is always so busy and has a new life now. So im thinking that shes trying to rub things in my face, but i brush that off. Today, i checked her away message and it said she is at her boyfriends watching Seinfeld. Now for some reason, i thought to myself, wow great, now all those feelings come back. I was always use to being the one to look out for her and all this, and now i can't stop thinking about her.

    I really do like Emily and all, but i dont know if she deserves to be put through my bullshit. So now i dont know what to do. Kelly was a virgin when i knew her and she always said how she wanted me to take it. I dont know why i can't get over her, im a fuckin retard for even talking to her again. Im terribly sorry this is so long, but i figured you guys needed some background on Kelly beforehand. What should i do with Kelly, myself, and Emily? :wtc:
     
  2. Vay

    Vay New Member

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    Well if you like Emily then I will say stay with her and just forget Kelly. Spend more time with Emily or what ever, and just move on. Now I might be wrong, but just seems Kelly wanted to get back with you for getting with Emily. So I would not think about Kelly any more if it was me. Anyways good luck!
     
  3. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    im kinda thinkin that too, its not that i dont like emily, cuz i do, its just that kelly and i were so close, and ive never been that close to someone. I always told myself i wouldnt let a girl get to me like this, and yet it happened! :mad:
     
  4. Vay

    Vay New Member

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    Well you might of been close, but it seems not so close any more. I would just ignore Kelly for the most part, and give more "thinking" time to Emily :naughty: .
     
  5. Mycophiles

    Mycophiles OT Supporter

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    You want a serious answer? I think you should drop both of them if they have ever met. If they haven't met yet then back way out of both relationships and go on a study frienzy. Just say your studying all the time. The point is to get some time behind you so you can sort out your feelings because, after all; emily doens't deserve to be put through this AT ALL. If she is going to be put through it and goes along with this shit then she's a very nice person and her actions are more than you can ask for in any relationship.
     
  6. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    theyve never met, but she knows about me not talking to her...shes been so patient with me, and i really do appreciate that, but for some reason, things just dont feel right, maybe i should just stop being stupid and accept the fact that kelly has a bf now and has no need for me in her life?
     
  7. *XxChocoTacoxX

    *XxChocoTacoxX Mmm... Choco tacos... :drool:

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    I would say just try to get over it. It'll take some time but it can be done. I was once like that and it just feels so bad to think about things in the past like that all the time. To think about the one that got away and how badly you wish it didn't. But you just gotta remember that it's in the past and there's nothing that you can do to change that now. You have a bright future to look forward to with Emily and you don't want anything to get in the way of that. Just let her know that you're still getting over your last g/f and that it might take a little time, and if she's cool with that (which she should be), just let time do what it does best: heal. Good luck to ya.
     
  8. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    I'm all for adventure. Go the extra mile and take the harder path.
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Oh god what are you doing to Kelly, first making her believe you two really have something and then wasting it over trivial things.

    If you look at Kelly and know truelly how much in love she is with you, you wouldn't be mocking that much on her. If your in love and i mean pure love you constantly want to be with that other person, i believe you wanted to be with kelly too, and i think you should re-establish the contact , because it's very understandable that she got so angry and jelouse, she feels like she wasted 6 years on you if you back of to another girl now. If you give her time then in time she will understand that you have other duties also. Now if you love her and want to be with her, you can tell her just that. Namely that yes you do love her, but you have busy life that she needs to understand, tell her that it's not going to take alll the time, but that there will be time left at least for the both of you to spend together if you mutually agree with eachother to give the space and time both of you need to do your daily thingie. It must have been heartbraking for kelly :(
     
  10. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    I do see where youre coming from, but in my defense, Kelly was the one who made the notion for us to just be friends. Perhaps i should have waited a little longer before I got a gf? I am trying to talk to Kelly again, but she blocked my sn, and she didnt answer her phone. The only person i could think of that would even help me is Melissa, her friend. Honestly it kills me not to be able to talk to her. I truly trusted her with everything, and now that shes gone, i dont have someone like that.
     

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