SRS pretty rust to the dating game.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by energie, Feb 3, 2009.

  1. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    but how do I know if a girl likes me more then a friend? or see's me as a potential bf. Theres this girl I know and talk to every week. At work we are flirty with each other and when we talk have a pretty good vibe (maybe its justme) when I text her we text the entire night and flirt through there. On saturday for example I texted her early in the night and we kept texting till about 1-2am and she kept dropping things like my friends keep wanting to k now who im texting blah blah u shoulda came would of been fun.

    So we seem to have a good vibe with each other but im not sure if she sees me as a friend or someone she could date

    Only cons i see are, I usually start the texting or initiate the conversation. She's taller then me (probably 5'10-511 with highheels on im only 5'6-5'7) and she's told me im really funny in a good way

    I've just came out of a long term relationship a few months ago and are movin on to new prospects. I really like the girl but not sure what she thinks of me other then im funny and think im a pretty good guy (her and another coworker were talking on a picture on fb about me and it came up on my feed:mamoru:)

    thanks for the read
     
  2. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Ask her out before you get friendzoned.
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    What you appear to be looking for is an answer as to where she stands with her feelings towards you... and you want to know this before you make it clear where you stand in your feelings towards her. This is wrong. This strategy will only fail you.

    I've said it countless times on here and other forums. The answers you get will only be as clear as the effort you make to get those answers. If you sneak around as friends, then you will always wonder if you are more. She's not likely to come out with it herself-especially if she is not interested in you. To get a strong answer you must make a strong stance.

    So what? You are doing nothing but playing it safe. Everything happening here can happen purely under the "friend context".

    That is because you never made it clear what you want. You don't have to tell her with words ala "I like you", but instead you do it with actions. You ask her out on a date and you take her. You don't ask her what she wants to do, you are the one planning the date so you take her where you want to go. Sit in the drivers seat for once and quit being the passenger. You're letting this situation get in control of you because you aren't taking control of it.

    The only thing relevant here is that you initiate texting, which tells me;

    A) Your interest is greater than hers

    B) When you display your interest is greater than hers, hers will only go down because being that easy for her to get is likely to make you look less desirable. Anything that easy is usually not that great.

    Your next step is clear. Ask her out for drinks. Since she is your coworker you definitely do not want to spill the beans that you like her with your words. That makes things really weird, much weirder than if you took her out for happy hour and then had a blast which ended up with you making a move. Trust me, it's weirder when you discuss feelings because it makes it look like you are way too into her too early. Whereas making a move with actions tells her you dig her, but she doesn't know how much.

    Ask her out for happy hour, go with her, flirt, tease, joke, build chemistry, and if all goes well make a move to kiss her.
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    best advice right here, you're bordering on the friendzone hurry up
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    why wouldnt you just go over there and try to start making out with her?
     
  6. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    only way to know is by asking her out. make sure to imply that it's more than as just friends.

    you're nearing the friendzone though with all the texting, time to act is now.
     
  7. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    yaa i figured it out, she was talkingabout a guy from the concert but the guy was me acuse her friends thought she met some guy there. gonna ask her out to do something but she doesnt drink alcohol so only thing is dinner.
     
  8. heebdawg16

    heebdawg16 New Member

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    just a warning, be very cautious about getting into a relationship with a coworker, its fine if you guys are just at temporary jobs, but if you're both with your current employer and thinking along the lines of making it into a career (or if it already is your career), you might want to weigh the cost/benefit of doing something like this into how it could come back to harm you in the future if/when it fails.
     
  9. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    i thought about this first. she's taking night school for nursing and works everyday. Im in college and work 2 days a week and dont plan on staying in the same position/branch (bank) even if i do stay with the company. If anything i'll move into audit/accounting departments
     
  10. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    I like no pressure dates like bowling or go shoot pool, less formal then dinner and gives you the chance just to have fun and talk.
     
  11. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    dinner dates for the lose
     
  12. tainted beef

    tainted beef I got Grape Nuts

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    David Deangelo lol
     
  13. squall458

    squall458 New Member

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    If you don't mind me asking, who's in your avatar? It just mesmerizes me.
     
  14. c.jawanda

    c.jawanda New Member

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    I totally agree with Ford4life, it better to try then to always wonder. Once you get friend-zoned their is really no coming out of it. The worst that can happen is rejection, you learn from it, and then move on.

    ps. Just putting this out their you go up to Banff for a snowboarding day with her? (Being that your from Alberta)
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2009
  15. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    update


    we both talked together and she pulled some line out from a walk to remember about me not falling for her cause it wouldnt work out. She went out to say if she wasnt bosnian things would be different but there isnt a reason we cant be good friends cause she likes me alot but couldnt see us together cause apparantly her being Bosnian and me being brown doesnt work?

    She felt bad about it and said she wishes things were different so im kind of rattled about it cause we were hitting it off and came down to what seems to be a racial thing

    cliffs:

    she only dates bosnians so me being brown didnt work
     
  16. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    If it was racial, she probably wouldn't be friends with you either.

    You waited to long to make a move, and got friendzoned.
     
  17. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    it could still be racial. maybe she does not care but her family would.
     
  18. elduderino323

    elduderino323 OT Supporter

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    if race is that important to her its not meant to be. love should be/is colorblind
     
  19. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    naa we only hung out a few times and she plain out told me if she wasnt bosnian things would be different between us, she has no problem being a close friend but thats that.

    i think its more based on what her family thinks. I know she doesnt care but u cant go out with someone or be withsomeone if your family doesnt agree
     
  20. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    I don't think it's unheard of... to have someone who is familiar with the culture, the background, religion, and so on makes sense to me.

    maybe if you knew about bosnian culture and lived it, so that you were 'bosnian' in a certain sense of the word.

    no matter what the level of affection is, if you love your heritage & culture such that you want a husband/wife that has these in common, it won't work. it's not really a racial issue
     
  21. energie

    energie I like to place an order.. the name? Situation the

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    i should of said something other then racial i didnt mean it to sound racist. More culture/ethnically based i guess.


    oh well ills till be friends with the girl because shes good to hang around with
     
  22. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Hmm. Eastern Europeans are a "special" bunch. She's probably saving you a good bit of trouble.

    However, if you want to move things forward, you're going to need to be pushy about it. Eastern European women expect men to get in their face from time to time, even if they don't like it.
     

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