SRS Post-College: Making New Friends

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Flyers in 09, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    "I saw the movie 'I Love You Man', and I swear that movie is based off of my life".

    Hello all. I am a long time poster here, for this post, I rather keep my identity unknown. I do have a few old-college friends that post here.

    So I find myself 2 years out of college living at home, where I do not have any friends anymore. I live in central, NJ. All my friends I made, are from college. And as it does with post-college, we have all drifted from girlfriends, and jobs. I myself broke up with my long time girlfriend right at the end of college, it left me with little friend wise. I now find my weekends for the most part, very boring.

    I do have some friends still, do not get me wrong. But they are spread across the jersey shore, which is a good 45 minutes away. And really, its a little embarrassing going out to the bar without friends, which makes it hard to meet a new girlfriend. I am not strange, I for the most part have pretty good self esteem and confidence. Typical guy, likes to fuck, likes sports, and likes making money. I'm not a bad looking dude either.

    As for a job, I am self-employed, and probably will be for the rest of my life. I could possible move out and rent, though I will be pulling in a decent salary this time next year.

    So that leaves me with the question. I no longer have parties, or classes, or dorms to meet new friends in. I do not work around people my age, nor will I in the foreseeable future. How do I create a new social circle?
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Join a club or something sounds silly but I met a bunch of people after college b/c I was really into cars I'd go to meets montly and eventually a few of us started hanging out other times then you meet their group of friends, etc... Use the same idea if you're into sports join a local team or something
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I joined a sports league.

    I'm very good at a sport so I joined that league and told them to assign me to a team. I picked the people on that team who I seemed to like and piggybacked on their friends. Then used them to find more friends, etc. Eventually (within months) they were calling to ask if I'd play in tournaments and to go out and stuff.

    A group is the best way...a league, church, etc.
     
  4. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    Thanks for the reply all. I am on a sports team, located in another state. Its a 30 minutes drive, and there is no one really my age. Its baseball, so maybe this time next year I'll look for a team near me.

    Unfortunately, that doesn't help me out.

    I have tossed around the idea of looking on craigslist, or roomates.com for someone to live with. I don't know how I feel about it, I am about ready to move out but just like being a freshman at college, its hit or miss. Except, in college the RA's find you new roomates or the semester ends.
     
  5. XJ3B

    XJ3B wat

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    im in college and under 21 so i dont really have this problem. but what im planning to do when this happens is hang out with MMA people.

    go train at an MMA gym, there are big PPV events each month at least, everybody meets up at bars and what not. id be doing that now but im not 21.

    If you dont want that, just replace MMA with any sport and Im sure you'll find shit to do. Just like in the movie, after the club is done ask them if they want to grab a drink or something,dont just show up, play the sport, then shower and go home
     
  6. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Clubs are the best way to meet people. I joined a miniature gaming club near my school and back home. So at the bare minimum I play games a few times a week, but I also met a handful of people that I hangout with outside of playing miniature games.
     
  7. The Grid

    The Grid OT Supporter

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    I'm in a similar situation. TONS of my friends moved far away after college and now I only have 2 really good ones, and about 2-3 other ppl I can hang out with. FUcking sucks b/c in college I would have ppl to go out with all the time

    Clubs seems like the best way to meet new people. Or you could honestly just start goign up to people you see in your everyday life (gym, grocery store, etc) and be like "hey - just moved in town and I know this may seem weird but I don't really know anyone and I'm trying to go out and meet people." You may get a lot of rejections but you may also meet a few friends that way

    sounds like you may want to move out of the town your in and move to an area where you either know more people or have more people your age that you can meet
     
  8. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    Yea. I hear everyone on the clubs. Just going to be hard finding an interest.

    I am trying to move to Rutgers, there are a few kids my age there haha. Need someone to live with though.
     
  9. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    Too bad you live in New Jersey.

    I was always marginally interested in guns, so after graduation and getting a job I went full retard when it came to guns.

    Friday night rifle league became "my thing", and now i'm looking into handgun competitions every third saturday. The weapons crew is what drew me to OT btw.

    Try meetup.com, or join forums for your interests. Cars, computers, hitting on girls, music, etc. etc.

    The world is your oyster. Have the courage to go out there and snatch the pearls.
     
  10. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    Oh I like guns. Love them. Waiting to move out to buy one. Tho, gun people are few and far in NJ. And the ones you find in clubs here, are quacks.
     
  11. The Grid

    The Grid OT Supporter

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    btw - craigslist has a "strictly platonic" section where people who just want to make friends can contact eachother. I'd try that and get a group of friends from there and start going out and meeting new people and just trying to get some sort of social network going
     
  12. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    I just checked out that strictly platonic section. Saw an ad from a guy I knew in HS. Posted pictures of himself and himself with his shirt off lol.
     
  13. Gillzeebub

    Gillzeebub New Member

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    i noticed u said a few times that they "aren't really ur age"... instead of looking for an age grp, why not look for ppl who share ur hobbies, wat about taking night classes in something that really interests u. regardless of the age of the other participants u can guarentee they share atleast 1 of ur interests and maybe many more. its a good starting point...
     
  14. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    I don't have a problem with age. Though, generally in life I haven't got along well with people that are 2 year plus older. I actually get along with younger guys, as I always was young for my grade.

    I could join a hockey team come fall, thats my only real possibility that I can think of.
     
  15. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I just moved to a new city and don't know anyone really (that's close anyway). I joined a photography gruop and soccer gruop on meetup. Now I play soccer about 3-4 times a week (LOVE IT!) and about to take photographs at a tiger refuge next Sunday. I'm going to volunteer training at the local animal shelter tomorrow. I am hoping to meet some new friends this way. That's how I met a few back when I moved to LA, so figured I'd try it again.

    Just gotta get out there, do fun shit YOU like and meet ppl who like it too. It's a start.
     
  16. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    Okay. So I haven't posted in 2 weeks, I thought I was on the right track.

    I start back at square one, because my friends are all flakes. None of them want to move out, they are years away, and all live far away currently. Or, they have girlfriends.

    I could move out, probably by 4. I know everyone says join clubs, honestly I just don't see what club to join, other than a hockey team next fall. Thats my best lead. I play baseball already on a team where I wouldn't make any friends really.

    I am just really frightened that I already blinked and I am 2 years out of college and its been a boring 2 years. I am going to blink and its going to be 4.
     
  17. The Grid

    The Grid OT Supporter

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    on CL you can make an ad in the personals for "platonic" friends. I did it just to see what responses I would get and I got back like 10 within 2 days... try that until you get a group of friends then leech off them

    or get a part time social job where you can meet people (bartender, promoter,etc)

    OR - grow a fucking pair of balls and start putting yourself out there. Go up to people you think you might like to hang out with and just lay it on the line. "Hi, this may seem weird but I just moved here and dont know anyone. Do you know some cool shit to do or would you want to go do xyz blah blah"

    the next 40 years will be just like the last 2 you had unless you do something about it. CHANGE MAN!

    You don't get what you wish for in this life, you get what you go for. GO FOR IT!
     
  18. oakback

    oakback New Member

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    Try something new, you may end up liking it. Woods or rivers nearby? Find a hiking or canoeing group. Ocean or lakes nearby? Learn to fish. Take a Spanish class. Dance lessons. Volunteer your ass off. Become a Guardian Ad Litem. There are tons of possibilities, but you have to go find it.
     
  19. Flyers in 09

    Flyers in 09 New Member

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    Eh Craigslist is for people who has extreme social problems, no offense. I'm not that type of person. I never had a problem in life really making friends until I moved home from college.
     

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