Possible breakup?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Riconosuave, Jan 31, 2010.

  1. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    I was spending time with my GF last night and she asked me a strange question out of the blue. Asked me if I stayed friends with the girls I broke up with/had relationships with. I said yeah, but depends on the situation. Then asked her why she would ask me that. She said she was thinking about our relationship and how much it would hurt her when I leave in 1.5 years (I'm here temporarily for job and most likely have to leave the country in 1.5 years). She's someone who thinks and plans things long term. She told me this is the best relationship she's been in. That she cares a lot about me and more so everyday, and when I leave, it'll be very, very hard for her. She didn't say she wanted to break up, but she said she's thought about a lot of things. I told her not to worry so much about if or when I have to leave, but just to enjoy each day and the time that we spend together, because you never know what will happen down the road. I can kind of understand what she's talking about ... to invest a lot of time into something/relationship only to have to break it off down the line. But if you were to live life like that, you may miss out on meeting lots of great people and experiencing great things. Should I expect a breakup in the near future?
     
  2. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I do what your girlfriend does - I plan for the longterm. On one hand, it's good. You can plot out how you want your life to flow. For me, I'm past the whole "live it up while you're young" stage. I know what I want in the next 5-10 years, and that's top priority to me. I don't think twice about pruning things out of my life now that don't fit with that.

    On the other hand, it kinda sucks to have that mindset, because, you're right, we should live every day to its fullest and just enjoy it without worries about what the future may bring. You never know what cards life can deal you, and you shouldn't try to plan your tomorrow in a way that fits in with your next year.

    I don't know if you should expect a break up. Maybe, if she's thinking about it and planning for the future, I'm sure she's thought about it. If you had to leave the country - have YOU thought about it? Have you thought about options to keep her in your life or do you see this relatinoship as a temporary time filler?
     
  3. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

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    I think maybe she is looking to see if you have thought about it

    Maybe she is feeling a little insecure about the relationship and wants to know more about your plans
     
  4. VA197

    VA197 New Member

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    It would make me so sad if i knew there was a time limit on my relationship. Maybe she is looking forward to the time you will have to leave her and wondering how she is going to feel, and what will happen. I don't know why you have to leave, but as a woman, I would hope that you would be able to stay friends, and maybe somewhere in the back of her mind she has some hope that you two will become so strong in your relationship that marriage is a possibility and you two will somehow be able to stay together, either in this country or yours.

    I don't know...just a thought.
     
  5. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    She's just trying to feel out how you feel about her and where she fits in in your future.

    Right now she sees you two going down 2 different paths and is feeling insecure.
     
  6. Toroweedeater99

    Toroweedeater99 Registered E-thug

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  7. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    :kiss: KRIS!! <3 :kiss:



    :werd: and like Amanda said, she sounds like a planner. She sounds like she's just trying to get a feel for where she fits in and what it'll all look like so she knows what to expect. I totally understand that- I do the same thing.

    I wouldn't expect the breakup talk based on that conversation alone. I think she's just trying to get a feel for everything.
     
  8. HopasaurusRex

    HopasaurusRex Okay, now what the fuck do you want?

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    Sounds more like you should expect a serious conversation about what can happen in 1.5 years.

    So you should probably start thinking now, time flies.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd:

    I'm a "planner" as well, and as a planner I would probably end it far before getting truly invested...but I understand your reasoning. Not really sure what will happen. She could pull an Alaya and break up with you before you leave in a for of self-preservation, or she would stay with you until the end and possibly talk out an LDR idea or just break up then :dunno:

    BTW, you see her closet yet?
     
  10. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    was in a similar situation except mine was 3 months expire date.

    it worked out really well and i'm still friends with her

    but then again, we're in the young and live it up stage of life and it's only 3 months :dunno:
     
  11. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    I think you guys are right. We've been together more than 6 months now. Time does fly! It's been a great six months too! One issue may be that I don't really tell her how I feel about her. It's hard for me to express my feelings. She says I don't tell her how I feel about her. But, I treat her well, gave her a key to my place, we go on trips, everything is great, etc. She has to know I care a lot about her. I haven't told her "I love you" yet, but I think the time is close. I also haven't thought about what may happen when I have to leave. It's 1.5 years away at least. I don't know what's going to happen next month! I guess it doesn't help when I joke that I'll send her an email once a month after I leave. I do think about wanting her in my life long term, yet I'm not one to plan that far in advance. I think we're a little closer after this weekend after I told her I care a lot about her and that I want to be with her for a long time. And about the closet ... I did get a little peak in there when she had it open. Yeah, the little bit I saw seemed pretty messy. Doesn't bother me though.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Common mistake

    Sure, you'd hope she'd realize you care for her by your actions, but women respond best to verbal emotions...which is funny considering that tends to be the hardest thing for guys.
     
  13. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    She apologized for acting strange this weekend. Said she was sorry for thinking and bringing up the issue. She just wants to enjoy the time we have together.
     
  14. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    :bigthumb:
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That's good....for now.
     
  16. PcH

    PcH Guest

    :werd:

    One thing that really broke up me and my ex (for good) was our future. We were at different points in our lives and had different goals for the future. :hs:
     

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