Positivity, vibes, "looking pissed off," and smiling - v. Arrogant crew get in here

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jul 23, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I think that if life were a movie, I would play the role of the villain. Apparently, I always have a pissed off look on my face, even when I'm happy.

    Wait, I wouldn't be the villain because chicks always want to fuck the villains.

    Ever since I can remember, people, sometimes even random people, have always told me to "smile." I think that I keep a neutral expression on my face most of the time, but apparently other people are expecting a big fucking cheerleader smile because people always think I'm pissed off.

    After getting to know me, a lot of people have said "dude, I thought you were some arrogant fuck" or "you seemed like an elitist bastard." All this because I don't smile?

    And I would even think that this would work in my favor... isn't being arrogant a high status value? Aren't chicks supposed to want to fuck high status men? Shouldn't the fact that I give off these vibes should say "this guy is so high status that he doesn't even want to talk to anyone in here... holy shit I want to fuck him?!" Apparently not. And on that note, I always assumed that if I could make myself good-looking enough (relating back to my thread about my old mindset), chicks would be drawn to me in spite of the my arrogance because, omg, he's so hot.

    So yesterday I was at Long John Silvers (awesome restaurant), and I went inside to order, and as I'm waiting, the 17 year old girl working there is like "We have your order, but one of your Alaskan Flounders is hard so we have to cook you another one... can you wait exactly 3 and a half minutes?" I tried to reply in a joking manner and give her a hard time, jokingly, so I laughed, gave a big smile, and said "I suppose." Now I thought it was blatantly obvious that I was joking, but judging from her reaction I think she thought I was pissed. Maybe it was a language barrier (she was not a native English speaker). So she started defending herself and I was like "no, that's fine, I can wait" and smiled again. A smile is supposed to be friendly, right?

    Anyway, that kind of stuff happens all the time. I'll be walking somewhere, doing my own thing, and someone I don't even know will pass me and be like "smile." I'm like wtf? And I'm not even pissed off... I'm content and I have a neutral expression on my face. Is that not enough? It's not like I'm walking around scowling or anything. I hate people that walk around always in a good mood, those fucking bubbly cheerleaders, so I make effort to not be like them. If my "neutral" makes other people think I'm pissed off, I wonder if I was ever actually pissed off what would happen.











    btw, Alaskan Flounder at LJS is awesome, and it's one of the healthiest things on the menu. :rofl:
     
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    :rofl: I have the same neutral face. People constantly tell me to smile and stop looking so angry. When all I'm doing is NOT smiling - My neutral face apparantly just looks angry.

    I now try hard to have some sort of goofy smirk on my face at the very least, at least when I'm somewhere where I don't want people thinking I'm pissed off. Which is about all you can do, stop worrying about what you think it should say about yourself, or how stupid you think people look that walk around smiling. ANYONE with a smile on their face is just naturally more approachable then the guy that looks angry.
     
  3. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    lol yeah, those fucking bubbly cheerleaders man, always looking so happy. Always enjoying life and feeling good, FUCK THEM man. Let's make a coalition to make their lives miserable
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    There was a fucking cheerleader at my last job. One Friday afternoon, in a meeting at like 7pm because we couldn't ever fucking go home because our client was demanding and our managers sucked, just like in the movie Office Space, our manager goes "yeah, we we're going to have a mandatory work weekend this week," which not only is fucking bullshit, but to inform the employees that they need to work this weekend at fucking 7pm on a Friday is even more bullshit. So anyway, this corporate cheerleader goes "Hey, if we're going to work this weekend, we can all come in wearing matching hats! It will be so much fun! :rofl:" Except it wasn't :rofl: because she was serious.

    I have never been so close to wanting to kill someone (or myself) before.

    edit - oh, my point is, I hate people that are always in a good mood. What's wrong with being neutral?
     
  5. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    Heh, not smiling makes you very unapproachable. Maybe you should just try it? Smiling makes you feel better anyway :big grin:.
     
  6. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Arroganse can be a symptom of having a high status but it is far from the only or normal cause ;)


    I have this mean "aura" around myself aswell and it does have something to do with your outlook on life. People rarely approach you when you have that
    look about you, I should know. The ones that do are usually the scum of the earth ;)

    I've been told that the best you can do is try to think happy thoughts, smile when you pass someone on the street, be generous and don't be sarcastic. Sarcasm is rude wether it's funny or not. Then after an amount of time you will slowly become a more friendly person, or atleast appear so then who knows? People might even return your smiles
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    logic dictates that if the expression you wear often generates that kind of response consistently then others do not view it as neutral, no matter what you think about it.

    arrogance mixed with humor is sexy, arrogance with anger or sadness, not so much.
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Although I am a sarcastic person, I am one of those few people who is always happy with a very positive outlook on life. I am never upset about anything after I sleep on it for a night. Love life, see a silver lining on anything bad, etc. Just happen to have an angry neutral face, so it doesn't have anything to do with outlook. If anything I would say I genetically have a face that looks angry unless I make it a point to smile.
     
  9. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Hah, that's true. Watch that show "House", he's cold, a prick, handicapt, sarcastic, arrogant and damn sexy all into one
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    House is an awesome show.
     
  11. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    You don't want to always be in a good mood?
     
  12. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    Well I'm no rocket scientist but here is what I think..

    If you generally think more positive and you're happy, enjoy life... Then you smile more then you frown so your neutral look would be more friendly because all through your life your mouth muscles and such have adapted and is used to you smiling alot.

    Where if you you've been negative all your life then the opposite would happen and you would seem angry even when you're just in a "neutral mode". Your "neutral look" is locked into an angered look sort of

    Think of how.. hmm "the lines in your face you get when your older" work. Your face looks so unatural when you smile cause the lines on your face have been held with a mean look. So smiling just makes you look weird! Like some kind of evil twisted smile hehe..


    Like how some people can't even pretend smiling, it feels so weird and they twitch because they so rarely DO smile, their muscles don't support smiling ;).

    The best actors are the positive ones.. the others can't do the emotions unless they think it's real ;)
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    On those rare occasions when I'm in a good mood for no reason at all*, it's fun. But I'm not usually like that. I'm usually a big ball of neutrality.

    *I suspect that this is how most people normally feel, but for me it happens randomly, like once a month, maybe.

    edit - I don't mean anything by this but doesn't happiness typically increase as you approach the middle of the IQ bellcurve?
     
  14. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    I have the same problem. People come up to me all the time and tell me that they were threatened by me the first time they met me, and that I come across as an arrogant bastard. I think it's because I'm naturally shy, and I don't really like to dumb myself down to appear cool or whatever. It's not that I'm afraid to talk (I'm not), but I'm more content to stay in my shell than most people. Like you, I hate walking around with a dumb smirk on my face, and I seem to lose interest in people I don't respect very quickly. I'm also more direct than many people appreciate -- that is, if I have a problem with you, you will hear about it. I like to speak my mind. Likewise, I don't respond well to passive aggression.

    One thing I've noticed that seems to work very well is to go out of your way to approach people, to complement them, and do it in a way that seems authentic. Basically, I try to become more magnanimous than threatening -- I think they're 2 strains of the same behavior type; I try to become more self-restrained and avoid being combative, although that can be tough sometimes. When all else fails, I just try to talk to people and get to know them. Once people get to know me, it's usually not a problem. I'm sure you're the same way.

    I admire your efforts, but smiling is kind of superficial, and a lot of people can read right through it. I know I have a hard time convincing people that I'm being authentic when I'm not. It's not always easy.

    Hope that helps. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts...
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    you're not expressing neutrality. you're getting anxious and tense and it comes through by furrowing your brow, or something like that.

    if you were feeling (or at least acting) like a neutral, monk-like dude then people would not get tense around you
     
  16. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    jjj, can you make a thread on the more you access a state, the more you get addicted to being in that state, and on positivity and all that.
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    yeah.. i could make a thread but i'd have nothing to contribute

    i have a friend who sent me some shit on this, maybe i can find it
     
  18. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    haha oh my bad. tyler talks about it all the time.. i've been trying to explain to falconer what's worng with him for months now but it's just too frustrating at this point
     
  19. Falconer, remember what I told you about confidence? Use it.
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I think you've also been referring to me in 3rd person in my own threads for months now, too :rofl:
     
  21. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    My neutral/positive/negative expression is independent of my confidence in a given situation.

    I'm perfectly confident and content, right now at this moment, sitting here at my desk at work. And I have a neutral expression on my face.
     
  22. Roasted

    Roasted New Member

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    I get that sometimes too. I think it's from years of hanging out with metal heads and going to metal shows where everyone's too hardcore to smile. :p
     
  23. I'm saying it doesn't matter what your expresson is, as long as you are confident and happy at the moment, then nothing is wrong.
     
  24. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    It's not wrong, but could use an improvement
     
  25. It doesn't need any improvement, I always have a smirk on my face, it's my neutral look. Is there anything wrong with that?

    Edit: I am happy with it and it doesn't make a difference to me, why should I be bothered by what others think of me and my personal facial neutral expression?
     

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