Poll: Combining Finances

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by yankeeschick14, May 16, 2008.

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Would you combine your money with your significant other?

  1. My money is my money! I would never combine my finances with another person

    20.5%
  2. I would combine if married

    57.1%
  3. I would combine if in a committed, long term relationship

    17.9%
  4. I've never thought about it before

    4.5%
  1. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    What would be the point at which you would begin to combine your finances with your significant other? My SO and I have been together 5 years, and we were just discussing opening a joint account for our expenses together. We wouldn't put a lot of money in it, and would both maintain our own separate accounts as the main accounts. This would be where we would get the money to pay for our dates and us to drive to see each other (gas and tolls), but we would use our own money for our own things. Expenses would have to be discussed with each other, of course. This would help us build a name together and learn how each other works financially. Opinions?
     
  2. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    hmmm nice work there YC with the title
     
  3. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    Ive been married for a few years now, and we have lived together for far longer than that. We still don't have a joint account. We each have our own, and can transfer back and forth, but they are our own.

    There is never a reason to have a joint account really :dunno: And to do so without being married is STUPID!!!

    Never have your name on something financial unless you are married to them, and even then its not a necessity. Now my wifes name is on our car's and home, but not on my bank account because its just not necessary.
     
  4. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    Finance crew signing in.

    Unless there is a tax purpose for a joint account (which is not the case here), you'll generally run into confusion.

    When my friends and I rented a house together we basically just started an LLC to combine funds from multiple accounts, but having one account with all of our names on it. We have rules set for deposits, and in the case of something fishy happening, a strong paper trail to cover everyone's asses.

    That being said, there's a great connection formed when you're not only physically and emotionally involved, but also financially. However, the cost of any 'connection' is just like any other investment -- there will be a risk.

    Breaking up, bad records of deposits/debits, one person dominating the account -- there's a decent amount that can go bad given only the relative convenience of the situation

    If someone needs help with bills then just transfer funds.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I would never combine finances unless married. And to be honest, even then I've always felt so independent (my bf is the same way) that even if married I have a feeling I might still have my own personal account. Not that I wouldn't trust my husband, but just because I thnk I deserve to spend the money I made on things I want, the same way he can spend his extra work cash on things he wants.

    I could definitely understand and agree on us maybe having one joint account where we put money for services that benefit us both. As in, "here is the savings acount for bills/trips/etc."
     
  6. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    exactly what this account would be. I think I'd always like to maintain my own somewhat, even when married, but it wouldnt be so bad to save together for things we both want. Oh yeah Beer, I had a dream last night and you were there...it was odd.
     
  7. Worn

    Worn New Member

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    I agree with iwywb, having an acct for set services that benefit both folks is a good idea, only if you were living together and using it on bills/rent and such. If anything I'd think it would make you guys feel like equal partners in the house. But for anything involving travel...I'd feel weird having an acct on the side to be used at one's discretion, as some folks have none, lol. If there are any concerns over travel fees, just discuss them I wouldn't think a seperate acct is necessary.
     
  8. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    a friend of mine and her boyfriend had a joint living account when they were living together before they got married. he was a math wiz, so he figured out some equation where a certain percentage of each paycheck went into this joint account, and out of that account, they would pay for rent, bills, food, etc. then they each kept their seperate personal accounts.

    my SO and i live together but have seperate accounts, and we split everything. it can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but we deal. if i cared to spend the time to figure out the equation, we would have probably set up an account for the common bills, but its not that difficult otherwise

    i tend to agree with others that its iffy to combine finances with someone when you are not legally bound (married), but i will admit we thought about doing it anyway. we decided to just wait til we are married to combine things since its such a bitch to get accounts closed and re-opened and change all the direct deposit stuff, i didnt want to have to do it twice (once now, and once with my name change). is this to kind of test out how you each handle money or communicate about money? if so, my SO and i still have a rule that we discuss big purchases with each other. even if its technically coming out of my money, if i planned to buy a new $500 purse, i would talk about it with him first to make sure we didnt have anything big coming up we had to pay for, etc.
     
  9. sploosh

    sploosh OT Supporter

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    Back when we were 18, my wife (gf of 2 yrs at the time) worked at Bank of America. She comes home and it goes like this:

    gf: "Guess what I learned how to do today!"
    me: "idk wat?"
    gf: "i learned to join 2 accts via their debit cards!"
    me: "awesome"
    gf: "guess what I did today!"
    me: "idk wat?"
    gf: "i joined our accts together via our debit cards!"
    me: "awesome" (but :squint: inside)

    At the time she was makin more money then me so i didnt really care, but we never really worried about money. We were always equal w/ what we did; anytime we made big purchases (over a couple hundred or so) we would let each other know, so as not to bounce checks.

    Lucky for me, she is a wiz w/ money. While going to college and working part time, we worked up a savings plan and were able to save for a nice wedding and a house by the time we were 24.
     
  10. sploosh

    sploosh OT Supporter

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    Whenever I "picture" people from OT - i just think of their AV's. So I picture you picturing IWYWB as a goggle wearing - coke snorting cat.
     
  11. fray

    fray New Member

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    I think the plan currently is to get a joint account that a set amount of income will go to for household/joint expenses (maintenance, mortgage, grocery, vacation, etc.) and then the rest will go into our own separate accounts that will be ours to spend as we want.

    We probably will not wait until actually married (although that's what I picked in the poll), but rather when we are both making full incomes.
     
  12. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I would absolutely not combine finances BEFORE marriage. If we were planning to make a purchase together, like a vacation, electronics for a place we shared, then it's possible to do that without a joint bank account.


    Even after marriage, I'm still a little weary about it. I would consider an additional bank account that we both chipped a portion of our salaries into, but not a joint bank account with ALL the money in it. Kinda makes it rough if the other person likes to spend, spend, spend, and the other save, save, save. :hs: Finances aren't one of the top reason of conflict/relationship problems for a reason.. :hs:
     
  13. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Marriage only. It's just not worth the hassle beforehand.

    Living together, I can understand having a joint account for the specific bills. You add a check for that month's bill, he add his, then you pay them all off.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ooo, was I in a threesome :naughty::noes:

    I do look very similar...
     
  15. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i wouldn't combine finances before marriage...dumb idea

    and if i were married, i'd combine finances for things such as mortgage, bills, household items and leisure

    and keep seperate accts for everything else
     
  16. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    My wife and I have been combined FULLY since marriage and partly before.

    We did something similar to what you are suggesting first. My wife is rather old fashioned and thus when we were dating I was required to pay for everyone. Not because she did not feel she had to pay for anything, but more because people could not SEE her paying for anything....we won't get into this :rolleyes:....ANYWAY....at one point, it ended up that she was making far more than me and yet I was still required to pay for everything. This sort of annoyed me. So, we decided to set-up a joint account. This way, I would still visibly pay for everything, however it would be from both of us. It worked really well for us and it would be something I would recommend.

    NOW, here is where the trick comes in, which I think many people forget/ignore. We understood that at the time we made different amounts of income. Therefore, we took this into account by depositing a percentage of our income into the account (I think 15% or 20%). Therefore, if I made $1000 I would put in 150-200. Meanwhile, if she made $500, she would not put in 150-200, she would only put in 75-100. This is something I would highly recommend to make sure things stay equitable.


    Now that we are married, we have a joint chequing and savings account where all of our money is pooled. We have seperate credit cards for purchases, but all bills, entertainment, expenses of whatever come out of the same account and money pool. Personally, when married, I see no reason to keep finances seperate...my debt is her debt and vice versa. If she is having problems, they are my problems as well.
     
  17. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    theres no benefit for me to combine. thats why I have an LLC before i marry. I keep that no matter what because im bringing it into the relationship. also that way the LLC keeps the assets in the event of a divorce, and not her.

    combining assets is a way to demonstrate financial dependence in court too, this way i can try to avoid those rediculous decisions that judges hand down daily that state:

    "Women are helpless and too stupid to work, here, he can work for you because youre pretty much worthless."

    Thats what the judges say everytime they grant alimony.

    and why the fuck would you ever consider doing it before? thats just stupid. whats the motivation there? one of them has to be better off than the other.... it only benefits one person in the relationship. if you want to give her money, give her money. you are taxed when you give someone money (because its considered income, if over a certain amt per year)
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    gotta keep 'em separated
     
  19. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Only if I was married and we'd still have our own accounts separate from that one. It's less risk.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Just one thing I'll never understand....why do people who are so obsessed with the money aspect (of keeping it all seperate, etc.) even consider marriage? Why if you are so paranoid of a divorce that could rob you of your money do you even get wed? Why not just stay life partners or whatever?
     
  21. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    Funny you state that because I just chatted with Lovely about this thread and the first thing that came to mind for both of us is that NOT pooling funds just shows a massive lack of trust in the other person and, in essence the relationship itself.
     
  22. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    But if say one of you gets sued, you have no protected accounts.
     
  23. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    My knowledge of law is rather limited, but I believe that by being married your are viewed under the courts as having joint assets. Course, I could be wrong because I know that even Lovely and I place certain things in only one of our names, simply for tax reasons.

    I am not disagreeing with regarding the suing, however, there are so many possible situations where you could loose your money. To me, I think that telling your partner "sorry sweetie, I do not want to combine finances because I fear that one day you might get sued by someone and they will then come after me" is just a really poor excuse for justifying to oneself that they should not combine finances and is not the 'actual' reason for wanting separate finances.

    Mind you, my views on the minimal risk of being sued may be skewed because I do not live in the United States where it appears people sue one another for the hell of it.
     
  24. fray

    fray New Member

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    in my mind, I read this as straight out of the offspring song, complete with follow-up instrumentals. was that intentional?
     
  25. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Oh, not in the states. If it's not a joint account they have to file a separate low percentage lawsuit in order to come after it. Doctors and Enron execs protect themselves by putting everything in their wives names. My dad had to file for bankruptcy awhile back, but that didn't affect my mom's credit so they could still get loans in her name.
     

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