LGBT Poem I just wrote, thoughts?

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Elusid, Sep 5, 2008.

  1. Elusid

    Elusid New Member

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    So I had this assignment in my Creative Writing class that was basically write anything you want in what ever style you want and have a rough draft in by Friday. I didn't really have anything to go with at first. I had the whole sun on the face and me being on my patio with the wind and what not but I started working on it a little while ago and it all just sort of came out. It's not very often that I get inspiration like that so I was just wondering what you guys thought about it.

    Barricade

    Laying on the patio swing​
    Gently swaying with the cool desert breeze​
    The last rays of sun trickle down my face ​
    As the darkness consumes the light​

    I intently flip through a book​
    Entangling my fingers into its world​
    Refusing to let go​
    Knowing that as soon as the pages come together​
    My barricade falls apart​

    They'll be ready​

    Bitting​

    Trashing​

    Clawing​

    Until they are at the front lines of my consciousness​
    My living nightmares​
    Reopening every poorly stitched wound with their salty claws​

    I writhe in agony​
    Screaming​
    Begging for them to stop​
    But they keep coming​
    Oblivious to the white flag I desperately wave above my head​

    Completely overwhelmed​
    Suffocating in this hell​
    I wonder to my self how I've made it this far​

    I don't remember the beginning​
    I can't see the end​
    All I can do is put one foot in front of the other​
    My chin up​
    A smile on my face​
    And dream that the sun will eventually rise​

    -Chris Moore​
     
  2. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    I like it.
     
  3. Elusid

    Elusid New Member

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    Thanks =) I really would like to be able to write optimistic poetry... But every time I try it comes out too corny =/
     
  4. RougeOgre

    RougeOgre FS Librarian and MOD

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    Pretty intense
    I get good visuals from your description.
     

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