SRS Please read and help me out

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by phoenix1105, May 31, 2009.

  1. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    I will make this simple as to avoid confusion, and illict suggestions. Right off the bat I will say I am probably on the borderline of having a borderline personality disorder, if that makes sense.

    Anyway, I haven't been able to work for the last ~3 years due to health problems. In that time my mom has let me stay with her, and basicaly cared for most of my bills. Part of the BPD thing is Impulsive spending on the stock market and futures market. I havent told her yet, I don't know how. She can't pay my CC. She simply doesnt have the money, and it isn't her problem.

    Right now I am in the hole ~25k to a credit card company. I am 2 months late now, as I have sold everything I can think of. For a long time, probably several years I have had suicidal ideations. Now, I am closer to acting on them. I have the means, motive, and method. Aside from that I felt the urge to write the infamous goodbye letter last night. One of the problems is that my name and social are on several of her and my grandarents bank accounts. Here again I dont want to make them pay the money.

    The point is I screwed up. I would pay the money back, but I am scheduled for back surgery in about a month. It will take me 6 months to a year to recover. So basically I am lost and aside from pills or a bullet, this was the only place I could think to turn.
     
  2. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    First of all, take a deep breath. You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out. You need to stop panicking and think.

    Secondly, don't try to self diagnose. You're not a doctor. 99% of the time people "diagnose" themselves, they are way off.

    Some steps to get you started:

    CALL YOUR CREDIT CARD COMPANIES. Explain about your surgery. Negotiate a deal. They will work with you.

    Look into debt consolidation.

    If you have anything in collections start making calls to them to see what you can work out. Some money to them is better than no money. They will work with you too.

    Realize also that taking your own life does not mean your debt is erased. When you're gone, all of your debt goes to your family and they are expected to pay.
     
  3. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    I am not 100% sure on this, but since you are being taken care of and are probably listed as a dependent right now, your suicide would force your family to foot the bill (If I'm wrong, someone please correct me. I'm not a debt expert).

    Self control is hard when you feel like there is something wrong with you. The fact is that everyone has their issues and their problems, and some just get it worse than others. Secrets will eat at you forever until you let them not be a secret anymore. The most satisfying feeling in the world is letting go of something that you've held on to for so long that has been causing you mental, physical, or emotional pain.

    With the lack of information you gave us about your situation, I would sit down with your mother and explain your situation. She probably knows more about what to do than you do as she probably has had her own credit card debt and may be willing to point you in the right direction.

    You must also know that your actions DO NOT come without consequences. Even if they don't effect you, they will effect someone close to you or someone you love. You must accept these consequences as they are, it's part of life. If you don't like it and think that taking your own life would be better, think of what would happen to your mother? Think of the stress and the anxiety you would give her by doing such a horrible thing.

    I am sure your mother still loves you, and something like this would never change that feeling towards you. My own suggestion is to sit down, have a cup of tea/coffee/water and explain to her your situation and seek help. Everyone needs a crutch to lean on sometimes. I am a very DIY person, but when it comes to emotions or feelings, I need someone there to help me get it all out. Don't be afraid to ask for help!
     
  4. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    One of the sad things, Lucky Penny is that I have a Master's in Social Work and can diagnose Pepe :eek:

    I just feel like popping the pills would be easier...
    Do you think the CC will take into consideration that I am not going to be working for close to a year, or will they let the colletion agency decide that?
     
  5. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    You are asking the wrong people. I can probably speak for a few people in saying that I have never held more than a few hundred dollars of debt, ever.

    The people to ask are your credit card company(s), and anyone you would like to share this information with.
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    It would also be wise to apply for Social Security Disability with your local social security office. You're also entitled to medical insurance if you don't already have it through both Medicare and your state insurance company.

    As far as the money goes. Cancel the credit card, and ask them to help you lower the interest rate so that you can pay them back. If you can't pay them back, you may have to file bankruptcy.

    It's also in your best interest to see a psychiatrist, as your mental health is incredible fragile at the moment and you need some support emotionally (Probably with a counselor) as well as medical intervention. Being disabled with health problems is enough of a reason to get that care. Anyone disabled should have a counselor in my opinion. I have one.

    I've been in your shoes, and the way I got out of it was starting with these things.
     
  7. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    :hs: Then you should know better than most that self diagnosis is a slippery slope. You should be seeing a mental health professional regularly if you're not already.

    I couldn't say for sure what the CC would say, but your best bet is to just call and ask. Rarely have I found CC companies who are unwilling to work with their clients in some way. Call them and see what your options are before it goes into collections. You're only two months behind which isn't that horrible, but don't let any more time pass before you call. Don't let it get into collections before you do something about it. And ask about consolidation.

    Good luck :hsd:
     
  8. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    I am seeing a psychiatrist for meds and that helps, but not enough IMO. I have been on virtually all the anti-depressents, psychotics, atypical anti psychotics... nothing has really helped.

    Talk Therapy helps some, but I havent found the right combination.

    I am going to try and call the Credit Card people in the morning and see what happens
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Keep trying. Get on that SSI while you're at it.
     
  10. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Definitely get someone independent to diagnose you and ring the CC companies. Also maybe discuss with someone how you can tell your mum.
     
  11. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    Well the anxiety got to me, and I called them. It is amazing how they try and make you feel like you are just a piece of dog shit... Anyway they said they were going to turn it iver to collections on June 15 if I didn't pay something. So I used $150 to buy some time. They offered me a hardship plan where I can pay $350 a month for 6 to 12 months at an intrest rate under 7.5%. I can't really do that because I only have around 1k.

    So I am really worried about what to do. I have tried twice to get on disability and have been denied because I have an obscure condition (PM me if you really care, I just dont want to post all it) and it is hard to make a 100% Dx.

    I am working on taking my name and info off all my moms accounts so if things go south they cant go after her. Oh and to add a little more anxiety my mom was just on the phone talking to a friend about how hard it is going to be financially over the summer(she is a teacher.)

    Fuck me, it is like I really want to work this out and get on with life, but everything I have been through so far in life has been really, really shitty. I think what is after we die? If we simply end existance, then why not? If a God or afterlife exists how do we know suicides go to a "hell" anyway. Sorry to ramble... I will post more when something happens. Thanks everyone though
     
  12. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    I agree 100% with you. I want to pay back the money; it is the right thing to do. If they, or someone, would just let me have my surgery, go through rehab and then deal with the CC that would be ideal. I have insurance through my mom so that is a God send...

    I have taled a couple times since my car accident last month with my therapist and she can't figure ut why I can't get Social Security money either.


     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2009
  13. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Yay!! Good job calling!! :big grin: That's pretty nerve wracking.

    Try calling them again. I'm totally not kidding. Every time I've had to call about my student loans or another bill that I have to pay and I get some asswipe on the phone, I call back later and talk to someone else. It's kinda like everything else- you've got to find the right person who is willing to help you. Btw- make sure you write down their name and employee number just in case you get a huge douche or you find someone really cool who will work for you incase you have to call them again.
     
  14. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    I agree with this. i just recently had a similar experience. my cable internet is acting up. i called up and they told me it was signal issues but i would have to pay them a large sum of $ to come fix it. then i called back because no internet is very harmful to me. the girl the second time was really nice and even told me the reason i was told that. so if i would not have called back i would have never had internet, and it was just because of a bad operator
     
  15. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    They usually deny people without abundant medical support for their condition. If the disability willl last more than a year, get a lawyer. They'll take there cut out of the money you're awarded for SSI. SSI pays retroactively to whenever your doctor defines your disability, which would be when the accident happened.

    An SSI lawyer is the fastest way and easiest way to get it done with. I'm on SSI/Medicare and Medicaid.
     
  16. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

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    I might have to look into a lawlyer for the disability then... if I could get them to pay even my SSI benefit for disability, I could pay off all my debts nearly twice over. How did you find a good lawyer?
     
  17. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I didn't. The insurance company through my job wanted me off their long term disability, so they hired one. Do some research online for your local area. Social Security Disability Lawyer + whatever city and state you live in. Read up on some of them and give a few a call to see if you think they'd be alright and willing to consult your case.
     

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