please need advice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by lou kim, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    found emails on gfs email accoiunt to and from her ex from about 3-4 months ago. Pictures of them in florida and shit, she said all they did was kiss, made her call the kid, he said same>> should i believe her and stay with her? i like her alot but obviously there will be trust issuses as she told me she didnt see him when she went dowwn to florida. please need advice
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No, you should not stay with her.

    She cheated on you, your trust in her is shot to hell and your relationship will never be the same. You guys havent been dating long either. She doesn't really love you or respect your relationship. Do yourself a favor and dump her, move on and start fresh.
     
  3. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    well we met last semptember, she said she wanted to be with me from november on, finally realizerd i wanted a relationship when she got back from florida in january. she saw him for one day but didnt want to tell me when i asked her cuz she was scared i wasnt gona be with her. they kissed, and it was even comfirmed by him
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well that's a little different. I mean you technically were together then, right?

    It's all up to you and how this will affect you. From the fact though that you've deemed it important enough to ask a message board I doubt you'll move past it, and for that reason you should cut your losses and just move on.

    Honestly? If it were me I'd break it off. You've barely been dating long enough and even if it was early in the relationship I still think it speaks a lot for her feelings of you and for her ex. She kept those emails around for a reason BTW. If they meant nothing to her she'd of deleted them by now. I would never stand for someone cheating on me, no matter if it was a week into being exclusive or a year.
     
  5. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    she kissed him, not a makeout, a peck. thats why i am alttle hesitant to break up with her, i like the girl alot. she isnt technologicaly savy and did not save the emails for any reason specificly. her ex actually lives in florida, and she never seeshim. i dunno i think i got too nicce over the years haha
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She's never used a delete button?
     
  7. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    all her emails were in there since she made the account in november
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I understand that. My point is she can delete those if they mean nothing to her.

    Honestly, why come in here and ask for advice when you're just going to justify all her actions?

    You might as well stay with her man.
     
  9. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    its jusst hard to explain the situation cuz i said id never stand for cheating eitherso
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well if you don't consider her kissing her ex while she is with you cheating, then why are you asking us? If you're ok with it then just keep dating her. None of us can tell you how to feel about this. And seeing as how I told you to move on and you started to defend her it's kind of obvious you're not going to break up with her.

    So I guess all that really can be said is get over any trust issues you have :dunno:

    But if you find yourself still checking her emails or her phone in a month then consider your relationship pointless. And the fact that you were checking her email in the first place speaks pretty loudly about how much you trusted her before find this out...
     
  11. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    If you feel the need to check up on her through her email account, maybe you should re-evaluate the whole relationship.. :dunno: There's no excuse for that. If I ever found out my boyfriend was doing that to me, I'd be like "see ya!"


    Also, as for not deleting any of her emails.. sounds like an excuse. I hold onto to everything, but emails. I can't stand a cluttered inbox, and the only messages I save are one I deem to be important, and you can bet I'm not saving them for 4 or 5 months. I agree, count your losses and walk away from the relationship. It's brand new and it's already doomed.
     
  12. trojen28

    trojen28 New Member

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    why were you reading her emails?
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    1. Because he didn't trust her to begin with
    2. Sensed something was up

    but I'll let him explain.
     
  14. iblameluke

    iblameluke New Member

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    Dump that hoe. I had a semi same situation happend and it turns out to be shit in a basket. Never the less I denied OT's omnipotent advice and stayed with her for another month but now I am clean and she is gone.
    A+ IWYWB's advice FTW
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    If you're suspicious enough to snoop, the relationship is already over.

    No trust means no relationship.

    Sounds like you lost the trust after the whole kissing incident.
     
  16. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    You make think that you love her enough to get the trust back, but it's not that easy.

    She betrayed you and with an EX which proves she wasn't ready to get in another relationship with you.. Cheating with an ex is a LOT harder to forgive then a random/drunk thing. She's obviously not ready and you deserve someone who is.

    Time to dump her but it's for the best. :hs:
     
  17. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    guys i appreciate the help but your misunderstanding everything...i went to sign up for yahoo email and hers was already up on my comp. i saw her ex's name so i browsed through it. She wanted to be with me officially from november to january, however, i didnt want a "girlfriend". she went to florida, came back, and i realized i cared more about her than i thought, so 2 weeks later we made things officail. i asked her a couple of times if she saw her ex, had no reasons not to believe her. i found out myslef obviously, but just the start of february thigns have gotten serious. i have a lot of feelings for this girl, as she does to me. Its one of her exes from florida, we are from ny, shes only seen him maybe 5 times total anyways, he means nothing to her. she called hyim and he said the same thing she did, saw eachother for a day, onyl kissed, not made out. i feel like i can hopefully forgive her for LIEING to me, which i find far worse than the fact of her giving him a kiss. if things dont work they dont work, but i feel like she is ready to move on, as well as me trying to.
     
  18. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    :werd: first reaction to OP's post.
    She's probably been acting shady so he got suspicious and had a snoop, but it's still her personal space. Reading your partners e-mails behind their back is a huge violation of trust.

    Now OP can't trust her and she can't trust him.
     
  19. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    LOOK IN THE POST ABOVE YOURS ^^^^ IF YOU READ U WILL FIND OUT WHY I READ THE FUCKIN EMAILS
     
  20. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    may we keep in mind she went to florida in JANUARY, she hasnt been acting shady, everything has been the same
     
  21. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    thats why im saying this is a hard situation to describe...but dont fuckin assume, ask me if u dont know something
     
  22. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    You don't really have a right to be upset about things that happened before your relationship started.
    It might be a mistake to head into one. You've already breached one anothers trust.
     
  23. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    yes we made things official 2 weeks after she got back from florida, maybe like the 23rd of january....i know its gonna take alot for me to trust her again, but i think we can work through it...and if not, its not the end of the world
     
  24. Ladybug

    Ladybug Guest

    This is getting a little muddled for me sorry, are you saying that she 'just made out' with someone else really early in your relationship and you think she's still doing it? If her ex is really just a friend who means nothing to her then why the hell was she making out with him when she had you in line :dunno:. move on sounds about right.
    Well, you do what you think is best. Best case scenario it will all blow over.
     
  25. lou kim

    lou kim New Member

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    they kissed on the lips. that is it. she has not talk to him since january, and he lives in fuckin florida! she will not see him, nor speak to him again. i do not think she is still doing it, i had no reason toeven believe anything was up. i know she cares about me and loves me, thats not the problem. she now knows what she wants, and its me. hopefully i can move on, but its basically all about that
     

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