SRS please help me with a women and a work issue that is probably related

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by black jesus, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    info:
    I'm 26, have 2 b.s. degrees, I work for FEMA but don't have full benefits and only work when there's "work" or a disaster. I am a program manager in the field. What I say goes, I run the program, and I do it well. I fight with mayors, governors, senators, and million dollar contractors daily, and win. I may have a future with the agency, but its not set in stone. I make insane money, but most of it goes to student loans now that my miata is done.

    women:
    I've noticed that when I'm supposed to go talk to a woman in a social setting, I feel like a child speaking to an adult. I feel like I'm in a room of sharks, and whatever I say or do will be considered juvinile, "corney," and generally stupid. I can't do the "mack-daddy" pick-up crap...I speak to my dog like more of an adult than those guys. I worry these women are going to see me as pathetic, obnoxious ("oh great, another tool hitting on me"), or like a child.

    work:
    I constantly worry that I'm not going to make it in the world. Its like there is a very thin line between bringing home enough money to build a track car and cut a check for a daily driver, and living out of my car again. I know I have the determination to work shitty jobs and deal with the lesser income and stay afloat...just no future. I don't want to bartend with gray hair.


    Any thoughts on this? It would be nice to speak with a psych, but that's not an option because I travel.

    Thanks
     
  2. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    Do you call women who are around your age "ma'am"? How do you view women your age anyway? You've got to look at them as peers, that way you can speak to them in that manner. I noticed when I was about 18-20 I had problems calling girls my age "ma'am" in a work environment, whether it be at my job or at theirs. (Like if I'm buying something at a store, and there's a girl my age at the register, I would call her ma'am)

    Hope that helps :dunno:
     
  3. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    yeah, I have that problem too. I know better than to enter a conversation with a woman like that, but if I don't know the chick's name, I'll be polite in some quick, 2 minute lifespan of our relationship...I'm not going to say that shit to a woman I'm after.

    I know I need to look at them as peers, but I still feel like a child in this mix.
     
  4. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    Then start convincing yourself that you're a man. :dunno:
     
  5. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    but I don't know that I am...I mean fuck, I'll be 30 soon enough. I feel like these chicks are going to chew me up and spit me out.
     
  6. Zsadist

    Zsadist New Member

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    i know what you mean i get that feeling to when im working with certin people. something i've started to do is talking about no work related thing just to get more confortable with them not big things just how was your weekend stuff. it seems to help if you have any siblings that are girls or female cusins that you talk to a lot start talking to them how you would girl at work... just let them know first..
    i dunno if this will help but i know its helped me.
     
  7. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    let me clarify.

    I have one issue with women outside of work.

    I have another issue with feeling like I have no career. (I'm great with the women I work with that I'm not hitting on)
     
  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Women want to date a man, a guy whom can be a rock, can put them in their place if they are being bitchy, etc. They will throw shit tests at you too in order to find out what kind of man you are. If you're fearful of women then they will sense that weakness and you will fail.

    Before you are ready to date, you need to find out just what it is that you're afraid of and where that fear came from.
     
  9. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    That's the problem. How do I change this, and acknowledge the cause?
     
  10. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Why are you afraid of rejection? Why are you afraid to talk to girls? Do you see them as superior to yourself? Would a self confident man whom knows that he has a lot to offer give two shits about what some random bar girl thinks of him? Does her being pretty make what she thinks mean more? To him it wouldn't, and THAT shows Self Confidence and THAT is going to show that he believes he is someone. In turn people will see that and associate him as someone of higher value. The more value you have the more people will be atttracted to you.
     
  11. oatmeal

    oatmeal New Member

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    Clairification not needed... never feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone, bro

    Dude, Bro, Buddy…. What’s up?! You have to realize that chicks are just as insecure as you are… if not more. And the prettier they are the more insecure they are, trust me.

    I dated this hot supermodel chick once and all I could think was wow, she picked me. After about a few weeks or so I realized that this chick was seriously fucked in the head. Like seriously dude she would flip out because the cap to the conditioner and shampoo was not placed back on the bottle… WHAT!

    The point is bro, you have to take a chance, otherwise you will never know what may have been… ya know?! Stop licking your wounds in the corner and say something. It’s better to say something than nothing at all… besides, who cares how dumb it may sound to you… she might like what you said or how you said it. It’s all about how you present yourself partner… chicks look for confidence, charisma and charm… point blank! Fuck what you say, it’s HOW YOU SAY IT!!:hsd:
     
  12. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    yeah, but no one will see or respect any value in me if these women strip my dignity.
     
  13. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    I know I have to just go for it, but I don't really have anything to say to a random person. I can't do the mackdaddy crap, and my life is incredibly simple. Besides, I take rejection pretty bad. Fuck, I've been single for 6 fucking years for a reason...lol.

    I don't see why any woman would care about what I have to say, and how its going to be any better than what some dude with more money and a better car would say.

    There's nothing about me that screams, "hey, check out how motherfucking bad-ass I am." I'm mediocre and average at best.
     
  14. oatmeal

    oatmeal New Member

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    Bro… that’s my point, it’s not about being the ‘motherfucking bad-ass Mac daddy’, or what material objects you have… it’s all about being you!

    If a bitch can’t see that (I only call them bitches ‘cause I don’t know they names individually) then she is not worth your time and effort… remember that! I used to walk in the same line you are currently in… you need to deviate, bro!

    Look at it this way…. Remember that episode of Seinfeld when George decided to do everything opposite of what he usually did… and then shit started to change in his life for the better? You need to try that… I did, and it worked… what do you have to loose?
     
  15. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    Well, I am not badass, by any means. I am just average. There's nothing really better about me than any other guy. I can't think of any outstanding qualities a woman would desire. I'm mediocre all over.

    I forgot about that episode. I need to try this.
     
  16. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Search Mystery Method on Youtube or buy his book.
     
  17. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    its so cheezy though. I've read through some of that stuff, and I'd really like to speak to women like an adult.
     

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