SRS Plan of Action v.breakup

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mideel25, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. Mideel25

    Mideel25 OT Supporter

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    So I have finally decided that I am going to break up with my girlfriend of nearly 2 years.:wtc:

    I really care about her but I know it will not work out in the long run and she is absolutely ruining me and my relationships with others with her jealousness, co-dependency and insecurity. I live in Athens and she lives outside of Atlanta so she is about 45 minutes away so it is a quasi-distance kind of thing. Ever since school started back and I moved back to Athens (from her area), she has come and stayed with me for the whole weekend, every weeked. Dictating every minute of my free time on the weekend. So 2 and a half weeks ago, she wrecks her car and consequently has to start working alot more and, in turn, stop coming up every weekend. The past 2 weeks have been great and have really made it clear that I should have ended this sometime ago.:hs:

    We have broke up twice (for a night) and it has always been initiated by me. After the breakups she has had batshit crazy freakouts/crying/screaming and I have felt sorry for her. We get back together, Make-up sex happens, she claims she is going to work on things, and we are ok for another period of time.

    Another reason I have procrastinated on doing this is because she has had issues with her younger sister getting in trouble, her parents being crazy and divorced, and then this whole car wreck thing has taken a toll on her. During those times, I was the only person she found comfort in. I could not leave her in the midst of all that.

    How should I do this? Here are things that I have planned out already:

    -I am going to her side of town to say what I have to say and listen to her response, in person, then retreating back to Athens.

    -She will inevitably follow me back up here that night or the next day; so I am arranging a safe house to stay at for 2 nights where she can't find me. She is sort of crazy.

    -No alcohol for a couple of days after: can't let the guard down

    -I have always maintained that I would stay friends with her but, depending on how she acts, it is looking doubtful.

    -I am 22 and she is 21.


    Any tips, advice, or thoughts to help this rough coming week go any easier will be greatly appreciated. My stomach is already in knots. :sadwavey:
     
  2. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Tell her its over and walk out. I think she will get the point.

    If she bugs you file a restraining order. If you truely want to break up with her you will go to drastic measures to make sure you do. Otherwise you're never going to get over her.
     
  3. Mideel25

    Mideel25 OT Supporter

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    I did it. It was horrible, but went smoother than I anticipated.

    I woke up today a new man (with a malaise of sadness and guilt though)

    :hs:
     
  4. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    :hug: don't feel guilty... the only reason you should feel guilty is if you DIDN'T break up with her... then you'd still be feeling this way and she'd still think everything is ok. you did the right thing.
     
  5. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Make a mental list of valid reasons for the breakup. The list of reasons you're going to give her for the breakup would be a subset of this mental list. Keep the list present in your mind to prevent going back to her in a moment of weakness - with some time you might feel a sense of loss and wanting to go back to her because that's what you're used to will seem like a good idea; referring to the list should remind you that it's not.

    I did this with my ex and it worked quite well - every time I missed the company, I reminded myself that we weren't right for each other for the reasons that I'd determined.

    Keeping yourself otherwise occupied with work or friends will also help.
     
  6. Mideel25

    Mideel25 OT Supporter

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    lol, I did that on one of the dividers of a spiral notebook while I was taking notes during class. Big list ftl :o



    anyways





    Gameday tailgate this weekend ftw. :coold:

    It sucks to say, but everyone will be happy that she is no longer in tow.

    Thanks for the advice.
     
  7. Los

    Los Active Member

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    You'll eventually have to face her after you break up, after the safe house, after the booze. That's when the moment of truth will hit you: Did you make the right choice?

    You gotta do what's right for you. Yeah two years is a long time but in two years, if she hasn't changed her outlook on the relationship you two have and is stifling any growth, let it go. Its not worth the heartache of marriage and all that when she'll eventually turn around and cheat on you because she assumed you were being unfaithful.

    Its ok to miss. Its ok to cry. Its ok to mourn. But you also have to get some sense about you. You're doing this so you can ensure YOU have a brilliant and wonderful future. You love her, we know. Now let her go and love yourself.
     

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