physical side of relationship done with may lead to breakup

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Well all of you helped me out a ton on this board, and i want to first thank you for all of that. MY knowledge has become greater and ive tried to ease myself, but it didt work.

    As many of you may know im 23 and have a gf who is 20, but im a parnoid about worrying about pregnancy. I dont want to have a kid, cant afford one and she wont take bc cause of family history with cancer etc. That is out of the question even though i researched and told her it wont effect her etc, that is done.

    Anyways we have been together for about 6 months and sex was great. I used condom, but then soon became very worried about having a kid so i stopped having sex. Then we were just dry humping and i was still worried even with my clothes on!!! Finally last night, we became intimate with anal but i thought i could please her more so we actually tired anal for the first time.. I wore a condom and she loved it so much for some reason ,but me i end up a messy wreck this morning worrying about is he going ot get pregnant.

    So basically she is fed up with me and i dont blame her. Im obviously not ready for sex, cant accept any consedquences that can happen and the things such as dry humping and anal which i hear have a very low risk for pregnancy i just cant accept that.

    So yeah were done and i think our relationship will be to, cause i did notice she become alot more moody and from what i heard she wanted sex back into her life. She is open to other methods of bc, but i will still worry after the fact. So i cant go on like this, so i will have no more physical contact other than kissing in my relationship but it will be ruined.

    I guess i just worry to much, but i want to be safe to. I mean i never realized that a woman can become pregnant very easily without having sex.

    Thanks guys for your help
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2005
  2. Mugwump

    Mugwump Guest

    Yeah, you worry too much.
     
  3. 900stunna

    900stunna Guest


    You're a moron, send your woman over to my house so I can cave in her pelvis. If she gets pregnant I'll just punch her in the stomach or kick her down the stairs.
     
  4. Gonrad

    Gonrad OT Supporter

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    You already had sex yet you continue to worry about her getting pregnant?

    Well, tell her it's bothering you and you aren't quite ready because of what you may fear.

    I dunno..this is a weird one.
     
  5. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Yeah we had anal sex cause i thought it would still please her,but be a little safer for pregnancy issues. They say it only takes one drop to do it and im just parnoid.
     
  6. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    Therapy?
     
  7. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    am i this bad, come on guys i really respect ur opinion on this, but how do i educate myself about sex and pregnancy. every website seems to have different answers for the same questions. i mean it only takes a drop, even though i wore a condom and it was anal sex u never know.
     
  8. aww nigga

    aww nigga Active Member

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    Word. You've got issues son
     
  9. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    You're being overly paranoid.......x10. Yes, there's always a risk. But if you're both aware of the risks and take steps to aviod those risks, the chances drop way way down.

    Do you tend to worry about a lot of things in this same way?
     
  10. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Yes, im not going to lie i tend to worry about everything. God i know this, but it like just by you saying that i finally realize i worry about everything and dwell over it till it is done. I guess this is one of my biggest fears so i do worry about it mostly, but it is like playing though my mind that she will/is pregnant. I mean i sit here and after you say that i think.. Condom, anal sex, chances of being pregant, on her period wit tampon, chances of being pregant.. slim?? i guess i worry to much and want everything to work out like i woudl want it to in my head.
     
  11. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    They are also talking about making the morning after pill available over-the-counter, so I suppose you could consider having some of those handy for the day after if you are worried about it. But from the sounds of your girlfriend, she wouldnt want to take it.

    You both are way too paranoid, you for worrying about pregnancy that much, and her for not wanting to take the pill (due to cancer? wtf).

    Find a girlfriend who will take the pill, if only to make you feel better. Personally if my girlfriend was that far out of her mind to not take birth control cause she thinks it'll give her cancer, then I wouldnt trust her to not fuck it up and miss a day if you did convince her to take it.

    Both of your "problems" are compounding each other, imo.

    Plus there's always abortion if she does indeed get pregnant, if that isnt against your beliefs. She probably thinks that'd give her cancer too though *boggle*
     
  12. shangrilarcadia

    shangrilarcadia A lady

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    You are obviously both over paranoid (you are pregnancy; her about cancer). My question is: ff you had sex for six months without worry, what made you suddenly get so paranoid? Did something happen? Did one of your friends have an unplanned pregnancy or something?
     
  13. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    didn't I mention you being overly paranoid in your first thread about this and get griped at by someone else? hmpf...

    hey man, guys blow entire loads into women and don't get them prego...married couples spend MONEY trying to get prego, and it doesn't happen.

    seek help, you are a great person who was in a great relationship, and now it's gone because of a mental blockage that you CAN get past...good luck
     
  14. dude19

    dude19 Member

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    i feel the same way because we had a pregnancy scare cause of medicine that gave her symptoms of pregnancy and her period was a little late, all was protected but now i wont have sex until she gets on birth control. im even paranoid if she puts her hand down my pants cause of precum
     
  15. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    If you're worrying about a lot of other things in the same manner, it may be something you need help with. See if you can talk with someone about it. If all other aspects of the relationship are good, it would be a shame to see it go south.
     
  16. Sceptre81

    Sceptre81 Guest

    get a grip man.....grow up
     
  17. Rocky6535

    Rocky6535 Now, let me see you smile...

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    You seem a little obsessive compulsive. Relax a little bit. Wearing a condom and having anal sex isn't going to get her pregnant. I can't believe she's willing to totally give up vaginal sex for you and only do anal. It must be love...
     
  18. Hotrodheb

    Hotrodheb New Member

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    Dude, it took 3-4 months of fucking like rabbits to get my wife pregnant for each of our kids! A drop is not going to do it. I totally agree with everyone else that you need to get some therapy for your constant worrying. She needs to do some research or at least talk to her gynocologist!

    Good Luck!
     
  19. ummm...you need to relax....as long as you're carefull you shouldn't have anything to worry about.
     
  20. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    no noting happned that i started worrying more, i always worried but i realized of how much im not in the positon to have a kid if it happened. She will not to the abortion thing and that isnt in my religious beliefs or moral beliefs either. I am a damn obsessive compulsive person and i should seek help. Last time we had sex was in lke Nov, and even though she had all her periods i was convicned she was preganant cause they say u still can be and have ur period.
     
  21. Nikolette

    Nikolette New Member

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    Stop worrying so much!! Haven't u ever heard of the pill? It's great that ur using condoms, but I can understand ur worry about still getting her pregnant so why not double up on the birth control by using condoms and getting her on the pill. As long as she follows the instructions and takes them properly there's no need to worry.

    If this lack of sex is killing your relationship then you have to consider...is she really worth staying with? I mean I understand sex is a big thing to some people as it shows intamacy in a relationship but if she really cares about you, you should be able to discuss with her what's really bothering you and attempt to find a solution together. There's no reason she should end your relationship just because "she wants sex in her life." Especially since this problem can be resolved.
     
  22. EyeOfRa

    EyeOfRa User Title

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    you need help :ugh:
     
  23. DagoRcR

    DagoRcR OT Supporter

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    Dude you are acting pretty stupidly. First off. There is NO way for her to be preg from anal sex. The only times it which it the slightest chace is possible is if you blow your load in there (no condom) and she lays on her stomach at a 30 degree angle(feet below head) and waits and hour for the sperm to trickle out of her ass, she then inverts her angle so the sperm have a chance to travel up the vagina. That is rediculous, I mean come on man. Relax.

    Secondly, she will not get pregnant from dry humping , dude. It's not even sex. It's not like the sperm have radar and will travel the 8 or so inches instinctually up to the eggs. Besides your not even busting your nut, pre cum has a tiny fraction of the number of sperm that actual ejaculent has (it's a fluid released by the prostate to change the pH of the urinary tract to allow the sperm a better chance to survive.)

    Lastly, you're 23, if the condom works, not break or anything, she won't be pregnant. If something does happen, thats why there is a morning after pill.
    I realize that you don't want a kid, neither do I, but some of these ideas, things that you are worried about are completely ilfounded.
     
  24. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    :werd:
     

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