Phone Phobia?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Lavender, Feb 1, 2005.

  1. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    So i met this guy a few weekends ago when i was back home (in college right now) and we hit it off. but our only way of communication untill my spring break is phone and internet. one problem... he hates the phone. he won't ever call me. but he text's me and we talk online all the time. he tells me he REALLY likes me, and can see himself in a long term relationship with me. but sometimes i feel like he doesn't because he won't call me. you would think if he liked me that much he would call me.

    What do i say to him to make him understand that talking on the internet isn't cuting it without hurting the relationship?
     
  2. Inconspicuous

    Inconspicuous Resident LT1 Guru

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    You know, there are people who actually have phone phobias. It is a documented phobia, just like any other. It's called Telephonophobia.....true story.
     
  3. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    It's been known to happen. I'm not a huge fan of talkin on the phone myself.
     
  4. Inconspicuous

    Inconspicuous Resident LT1 Guru

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  5. Auream

    Auream New Member

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    Hey genius... you can call him too! I can't stand chicks who always expect the guy to do the calling, planning, or whatever in a relationship. Then again, maybe you didn't tell us the whole story and you really do call him all the time and he never returns your calls... that would be a little different.
     
  6. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    i call him, not all the time. but i do, and he doesn't call me back. i don't like to be clingy. so i try not to crowd him, but i do call him.
     
  7. dubbsy

    dubbsy New Member

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    I used to be really bad myself. Hate talking on the phone, especially if I"m trying to accomplish anything vaguely important - figure I"ll just mumble and sound like an idiot (I'll sit for 15 minutes before I make the phone call rehearsing what I'll say). However I've tackled it for talking to some people as I can sit on the phone with a girl I know for an hour easy (maybe that's why we're "just friends" :rolleyes: )

    but I dunno what to tell ya. Hopefully (for you) he's just got that "fear of talking on the phone" thing goin' on...
     
  8. cuz

    cuz Guest

    i dont like the phone either, but how bad can one phone call be, it takes 2 seconds to dial your number, even less with speed dial, all he has to do is say hi and w/e else, no one says it has to be hour long conversations. i dont know how good this guy is, he wont even take the time to call you. maybe he has a phone phobia but you would think if he did he wouldnt own a cell phone....
     
  9. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    I hate then phone and my gf always wants to talk on it, i hate it i like to talk online though.
     
  10. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    yes hating talking on the phone is something i have but ever since i got a gf it hasn't bothered me :dunno:
     
  11. PaZzEsCo

    PaZzEsCo New Member

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    I hate talking on the phone. I don't like the moments of silence when you are trying to find something to talk about. It's uncomfortable. But have you told him how you feel? Just let him know that things aren't going to work if you guys don't talk on the phone. If he really likes you like he says he does then he'll make a big effort to call you because he won't want to lose you over something do dumb.
     
  12. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    I used to hate talking on the phone with a passion. I wouldn't answer my cell, my home phone, or even phone's at work. I just thought it was pointless, if someone wanted me they could come see me. I know thats a stupid way for a person to think, especially for someone in early adult hood, but thats how I was.

    Then I met my current g/f and soon to be fiance, now when we are away from each other I miss her voice so much that I go right for the phone. When we aren't together we are always been on the phone, and its gone on for months.

    Thank God for cingular rollover, all those months when I didnt use any minutues built up a nice cache of minutes for me! lol
     
  13. orie

    orie social assassin

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    all guys hate talking on the phone.
     
  14. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I really dislike talking on the phone as well. but I also hate IM's. email or in person works best for me
     
  15. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    I talked to him about it last night and he told me if he is on the phone for more then five minutes he just gets irritated unless its with someone new. and he thinks that we have moved past that "getting to know you" stage so we shouldnt have to talk on the phone. and i kinda said something last night, but im so afraid to lose him by saying something. i said something like "well you would think you would WANT to call me if you say you like me so much." and then i was just like "its ok, you don't have to call me if your not comfertable with it." but he told me he'd call me this week. im not asking for hours. just ten minutes here or there to hear his voice cuz i can't see him.
     
  16. Jacquelin

    Jacquelin I was your silver lining but now I'm gold.

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    I'm a girl and I have the same phobia of calling people. Whether it be my friends or someone I am "interested in", I just cannot do it for some reason or another. When I finally get "comfortable" with people I can talk on the phone regularly, but until then I am terrified of calling them and of running out of things to say. Maybe he does really like you and just doesn't want it to get "boring" or run out of things to say?

    I do understand where you are coming from though, wanting to hear his voice is only natural since you aren't able to see him. I would just try to stress that to him, communication is KEY here and don't be afraid you're going to lose him over something this petty!
     
  17. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    A phone call for a guy isnt supposed to last more than 25 seconds.

    Don't sweat it... communicate to him in the way he prefers.
     
  18. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I'll talk to people online or face to face all day, but no way in hell am I making a phone call. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you. There was one girl I felt comfortable talking to on the phone, but she was a long distance away, so I barely ever got to see her face-to-face, and other than her, who I no longer have any involvement with, I only use the phone for important things, like seeing if someone is home, organizing some sort of meet, etc. I'll almost never use the phone just to talk.

    I guess I'd be ok with some sort of webcam meeting kind of gameshow jazz.
     
  19. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    Well, I'm not asking to talk to him for hours. just a few minutes here or there. He is coming to visit me for valentines day, so hopefully things will get better.
     
  20. Rocky6535

    Rocky6535 Now, let me see you smile...

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    I really don't like the phone, and find IM to be a lot better. I'll still talk to people I like though, but IM is preferable. Maybe he doesn't think he's jeopardizing his chances with you by talking primarily over the internet. If you tell him that he HAS to use the phone to talk to you, then he probably will.
     
  21. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    See thats the problem... I'm afraid he'll just stop talking to me. It's probably my own insecurity. but the relationship is new, so who knows what could happen
     
  22. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    He's probably afraid that he won't have much to say and it might feel awkward. I don't really know, but you're going to have to help him get over this somehow. IM allows people to come up with their own reponses whenever they want and they can sometimes be a little fake.

    Maybe it's nerves, maybe he just doesn't like to, but for both of your sake's, you two need to hear each other's voices! My SO lives 300 miles away, I have to call her often or else things get boring and lonely! Make it your new task to encourage him.
     
  23. Jajibaji

    Jajibaji Remember, the enemy's gate is down.

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    We're living at an age where communication is so easy, that if you don't communicate at all, either through email, chat, phone, page, text, voicemail, etc, you just don't care. Just be happy that he likes communitcating with you the way he does. Now when you guys do meet up, and he still doesn't like talking to you, then u have a problem.
     
  24. Lavender

    Lavender Easter is my favorite holiday...

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    Thats a good idea. thankx. he is coming to see me the weekend before v-day.
     
  25. MiseryIndex

    MiseryIndex i never know why. i only know who. Moderator

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    i'm phone phobic :o
     

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