SRS Pet body language peeves?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by konrad109, Mar 13, 2008.

  1. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Anyone have these?

    Body language that just sets you off and makes you hate being around that person?

    For me its:

    1. People who stand too close
    2. People who put both their hands on their hips (one hand is fine)
    3. People who make a big step towards you (weird I know, but if they see you and they suddenly change direction to face you it just irritates me)
    4. Fake or unwarranted smiles
    5. Staring
    6. Someone who doesn't make eye contact properly to facilitate conversation. E.g. they look at you while they talk, and don't even glance at you while you talk. Its so fucking weird.

    No matter how great that person is in other areas, if they consistently have any of these, over time it gets harder and harder for me to be around that person. I cannot spend more than a few minutes around either of my parents because they always have the tendency to enter a room, stop, and put their hands on their hips. If it was anyone but my parents I think I would just wanna deck them.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You need to change your thinking.

    You don't value each person for the character that they really represent, rather you are constantly reading into the negative Pet body language peeves, and as a result you are feeling miserable.

    In reality non of these people are doing anything wrong, its you who has the psychological problem, which is that you are allowing others to determine your personal life happyness for you, as a result you have become an emotional soccerball for them to play with. The solution:

    Don't care about what others do,act,say , be your own judge,jury and executor, if your constantly bothered by these pet peeves think a little bit longer and see other people's strenghts as wel, that way you won't have to constantly be absorbing the negativity from your surroundings and as a result becoming a negative person yourself. Its the risk you have to aknowledge which you are taking by absorbing and glancing at other people's habits, i mean to say

    Overal a lot of people are negative creatures, will observing their wrongdoings make you feel any better in life? NO, so stop looking at other people's lives in that way, rather focus on improving your own life, and bringing positivity into your enviroment.

    Really there's 2 ways how you can perceive things in life, negative and positive and the first view leads to nowhere but personal misery.

    I urge you to mentally start blocking out the negativity that you take from your surroundings.

    You need to be like a castle gate closing yourself to bad people/things/events, and open yourself up to good people/things/events, if you let the enemy into your castle they will only end up destroying it(even if its family), and leaving you crying over the ruins.From there you can keep on crying, or rebuild your life, i advice you to rebuild your life.

    That's a much better way in order to become happy with yourself and your surroundings, you more or less need to play this game along in order to get some satisfaction and bearable circumstances from it.
     
  3. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    I get what your saying, but I'm not going to pretend everything is alright when I feel like it isn't. I see no need to accept people for who they are even though their actions irritate me. I prefer to be around people I like.
     
  4. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    if people don't look me in the eye when talking to me I get really uncomfortable and try to end the conversation asap... unless I'm with friends and playing video games, driving, etc.... but if someone comes up to you and starts talking and no eye contact, it drives me nuts.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You need a Jesus type of acceptance towards others, i think in his time everything in his surroundings was even more wrong, but still he showed unconditional love and acceptance towards others,regardless on who they were, even sinners, and one must be able to loving your enemies so to speak. this has to be so because if your surroundings are wrong it doesn't mean you are supposed to do the wrong things also. You need to accept and love people unconditionally, you can say 'ok i only like to be with the people that i like' ,but what reward comes from that?

    Its an investment type of thinking, even if no one in the world would help another single human being, if you were the only one in the entire world who would help someone else. Your behaviour > *. the world. It would still be a good thing to help others.

    Its important that you stand 'above' the bad behaviour of other people, and not take it to heart. Rather cleaning your own heart is important in this. And no its not an easy job, but its better then to keep absorbing the negativity from others and poisoning your mind with ill thoughts about them. Your not making yourself happy doing it, and that's why its not worth caring about the pet peeves of others.
     
  6. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Just because you feel that "everything is not alright" does not mean it really isnt. Its your perception.
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Wow, you're obviously very insecure...

    I'm guessing you feel threatened by any type of assertive body language/movement.

    The first 3 are pretty big indicators of this.

    Honestly, you need to grow up. Not associating with someone because they often stand with both hands on their hips is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard.

    Ever thought about seeking therapy?
     
  8. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Could be a litle nicer, this is the asylum.....








    With that said, of course both of you are right somewhat about your perceptions, just need to meet in the middle somewhere. If you trimmed your post to only say "seek therapy" it might not be so aggresive.
     
  9. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    :rofl:

    I hate it when people stand too close to me, especially when they are talking. Get.Out.Of.My.Bubble.

    When people do this, I always think of that line from Dirty Dancing. "... this is my dance space, this is your dance space..."

    I can't stand it when people tap me on the shoulder either. Keep your grimy little finger to yourself. Kthnx. Makes me shudder just thinking about it :rofl:
     
  10. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    I hate when people (usually people I don't know that well/have bad impressions ofl) think it's okay to smack my ass, kiss me, touch me or otherwise make weird contact with me.

    I hate hugging. Ugh.

    I hate when people get really close to my face when talking to me. It's usually one person in particular but I don't want to hear his breathing pattern.

    I hate when people shift their eyes. :greddy:
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    the only time i remember being annoyed by body language was one really, really, traumatically bad case of slouching.

    i didn't like that

    i also don't like when i see "stiff" or "stale" body language, but that is more a reflection of what i used to dislike about myself than anything else.
     
  12. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Lol no shit its my perception, whose perception would it be? Thats probably the most blunt attempt at invalidation I've ever seen.

    I have been to therapy for anger management, which is exactly where I learned more about how I really perceive other people. Before therapy I would just accept bad body language and try to convince myself everything was alrite when I didn't feel like it was. I was lying to myself, and I feel a million times better now that I follow my gut.

    Frankly I don't think your type of responce belongs in the asylum. Way too much projection and passive aggressivness there. Thats exactly the type of responce that my therapist has taught me to recognize and be able to defend against. Also there is a big difference between "assertive" and "aggressive".
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2008
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    The only bodylanguage that bothers me is when someone stares at me during a conversation without breaking contact at all. Looking someone dead in the eye for an entire conversation is threatening and an unconscious power struggle. Nothing can be done about this really, aside from wearing sunglasses.

    If someone talks too close to my face to the point I can literally taste what they ate last night, that really frustrates me, and so I tell them to back up. I'm not rude about it of course.
     
  14. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So consider it a test of your skills and/or practice.
     
  15. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    thanks. :ugh:
     

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