SRS People look at me through their eyes of hate

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RX8Shinka, Dec 6, 2007.

  1. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I really don't know what's wrong with me so please bear with me...

    Growing up I was picked on ALOT. I was one of the poorest girls who couldn't afford the latest designer coat in Catholic School and then in high school I refused to get involved in sex and drugs so I was the outcast. I had very few friends. In fact, I barely talked to anyone. I believed their lies about me-- that I was a freak. I don't even know what that means. I was normal looking and well behaved. One girl disliked me so much in middle school that she told everyone on the bus not to let me sit next to them because of some unknown reason and that was really mean. Somewhere, down deep it's in my sub-concious and it still pains me to this day.

    Now as an adult I have tried to fight this and have been trying to convince myself that I am fine but it's not working out well. I have a hard time communicating with people. When they make eye contact with me I think to myself "They really want you to shut up. You're making an ass out of yourself." This is starting to affect my work and I'm really scared.

    Please help. :wtc::sadwavey:
     
  2. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    That sucks. I still sometimes get the feeling that when people make eye contact with me they are challenging me. In some cases this is true, but 90 percent of the time it is not. Most people make eye contact with people that they like. Its also a way to facilitate people to take turns while talking. Its when people AVOID eye contact that they are trying to tell you that they don't really like you and want you to stop talking.

    Definetley talk to a therapist for some cognitive-behavioural therapy. They will teach you how to deal with those emotions and ways to change your thinking (not your personality). It will take some time but you can get over it.
     
  3. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    IMO your problems seem to be because you seem to value other people's opinions over your own....even when they are wrong. At some point in your life you'll hopefully stop caring what other people think of you or severely restrict who's opinions you care about.

    Me personally, my family and close friends are the only people's opinions I care about....and even then, I only allow them to affect me up to a point. I put much more value on my own opinion and my own powers of logic and reasoning than I do others. However, this was not always the case.

    I had to say that my voice, my opinions, my ideas matter as much, if not MORE than other people's. It was kind of a revelation in my life when this started happening....up until then, I really did care what everyone else thought of me.....well mostly everyone else. Funny thing is, when you stop caring what they think, life gets a whole lot easier and people get a whole lot more friendly.

    Perhaps you should seek some professional help with this as it's likely much more complex and has some elements of self esteem issues involved. Anyways, here's a good saying, "Fuck em" :)
     
  4. Spike2k

    Spike2k New Member

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    are you in college right now? working?
     
  5. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    Yes. I am working and will be returning to college in the spring for my Associates Degree.

    I really wish I could be myself around others and at times, I am able to.. But there are some people that intimidate me and I feel like no matter what I do, it's not good enough for them. And dealing with these people makes me very tense and nervous. I can walk out of the house with a great, confident mind-set but once I get into a situation it slowly starts to fall apart.. and I get self-concious.
     
  6. gsxtasyd

    gsxtasyd Lift Big........Eat Big........Sleep Big........GE

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    You are a beautiful wonderful person that got mind fucked by cruel kids. They messed up your childhood, dont let them mess up your adult life. You are great, it just takes practice. Recognize your worth, others already do I guarantee it. =)

    Being poor builds character, so if you were I am sure you have a ton of it...okay? Best wishes and go talk to someone if you need to, there is nothing wrong with that.
     
  7. gsxtasyd

    gsxtasyd Lift Big........Eat Big........Sleep Big........GE

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    ps it sounds like you growing up you weren't stuck up and were strong enough to withstand the pressures in hs, that a good thing not a bad one.
     
  8. Arclight

    Arclight Hypercube

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    :werd:

    In fact I was secretly hoping she's around my area. Not a lot of girls like this.

    Where are you from RX8Shinka? :o
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Its like this.

    Some unconsious individuals are unable because of their deficient nature to accept anything that is not equal to them, same as water and fire do not mix, they cannot accept anything that's not in alignment with their own lives. And if everyone is not living the same life as you do, then you become an outcast.

    Being Catholic is for many just a word, reality is that there are many wolves in sheep clothes that Jesus warned about.

    There's actually a nice NDE (goto the beginning) http://www.near-death.com/rosenblit.html where you can see what happens to those kind of people after they die.

    As a result you shouldn't allow others to make you stop from living, you have to live regardless of how they think of you. And that's why you have to bring the power of your life back where it belongs,namely in your hands. Otherwhise you'll just become the emotional soccerball for others to play with.
     
  10. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    On the whole, it sounds like a textbook case of social anxiety disorder, but my guess is that the reason people react negatively to you is because you look down on them. The two things you just described, the fancy clothes and the dirty habits, are things that most people like, and your attitude conveys that you think they're inferior for liking them. That's not going to win you any friends. And since you don't agree with their values, you're not inclined to share their preferences, and they won't have anything to relate to you with. If you don't give anybody a way to relate to you, guess what? They're not going to relate to you, and you'll be friendless and alone. Being friendless and alone is bad for your mental health.
     

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