LGBT People keep thinking im gay!

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by terry007, Oct 12, 2006.

  1. terry007

    terry007 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi all,

    Now i know this will seem silly to some people, but i just need someone to talk to about it. Ive suffered rumours about my sexuality for years now and its taken its toll and had quite a negative impact on my life (im in my early 30,s). Im 100% hetrosexual, and have nothing against people who are gay, but ive just had so much crap through this, thats left me paranoid and depressed. I had taunts and cloaked gay comments for so long that ive got somekind a paranoid depression over the subject. Ive reacted badly on a few occasions, when ive thought people were saying im gay (when they werent) and this has fueled the rumours even more (i live in very small, clicky town!). I dont act camp at all, or dress in tight clothes etc, but i still seem to get labelled as gay!...It does my head in!!! I know i shouldnt care what people say or think, but thats easier said than done, ive even had comments off my own bl**dy family! It just gets to be that people are constantly trying to label others in some way or another, and people can be quite nasty with thier comments at times.

    I think my main problem is that i look at being thought of as "Gay" as some kind of attack on my masculinity or something. This is pathetic i know, but its true, and also people can be quite horrible at times and i absolutely HATE the little behind-the-back remarks and cloaked comments, but i suppose thats just how some people are. There just seems to be a fixation on the word "gay" in the todays society, especially with blokes. If you wear nice clothes - your gay, if you go to the gym - you must be gay, if you take care of your diet - your gay, and so and so, it drives me mad!!!

    After using various message boards and forums, this problem does seem to go on quite a bit, and I was actually shocked to hear so many blokes reply saying that they’ve encounted being called “gay” before, or had people think that were “gay” etc, and the word “metrosexual” keeps coming up also. I’ve just built up a huge anxiety and paranoia problem over the subject, to the point that the first thing I think of when I meet new people is if they think I’m gay or look gay!

    My main problem is where i live - a very small and clicky town. After a few paranoid episodes where i thought people were saying i was gay etc, ive managed to really enhance the rumours around the town, which doesnt help! But im thinking anyway, as i really hate living here, its full of complete idiots, and mud really seems to stick in these type of places, and rumours travel at the speed of sound!

    Thanks for listening
     
  2. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2006
    Messages:
    4,153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    I've had males come up to me and brush themseleves against me or initiate conversation that felt like they were hitting on me. I'm not gay either and it definetley bothered me because I thought I was sending out some kinda signals.

    Getting labeled as ANYTHING in a small town sucks, but it doesn't mean you're giving off some kinda signals. If you're more of a loner or less popular, you're more likely to get scapegoated. If it wasn't for being gay, it would be for being psycho, or a killer, or a pedo, and it doesn't have to be based on anything. Simply because you're not part of the clique or slightly different than they are, you will get labeled as weird for one reason or another. Small towns can really suck like that.
     
  3. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    Eh, people call me gay all the time. Hell, Ive had people tell me my marriage is a sham to hide my secrets. Eventually you just dont give a damn what people think. Its funny, the people that say things like that too me always seem to be alot worse off in life than I. People just like to find a way to get in jabs sometimes, and sadly calling someone "gay" can usually make those jabs hurt because so many people are insecure.

    You can call me gay all you want, I still have a beautiful wife that I am going to be with when I get home. Ive been called alot worse than gay...and that didnt hurt either.
     
  4. XPX

    XPX New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    12,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Most times there is something that triggers this kind of comments, can you see something that is gay related to the way you dress, act, talk or behave?

    You shouldn't really care, if you do you will fuel their attitude because they will think you have something to hide. Let them comment, use their own comments to make their lives a living hell.
     
  5. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2005
    Messages:
    18,067
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Margaritaville
    Well people told me I as gay for years, I denied it fully. Then I fooled around with a man, and I've only been back to the tuna trolly once and never looked back.
     
  6. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2002
    Messages:
    15,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nowhere in particular
    [​IMG] RedvsBlue
    Drug Geek

    Join Date: Dec 2004
    Location: p-town
    Posts: 4,225

    :eek3: :eek3: :eek3:
     
  7. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2005
    Messages:
    1,878
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Springfield, VA
    Well, I get labeled me as straight most of the time. People I've come out to are shocked because I'm "butch" or something and they had no idea that I'm really gay. However, get me around a bunch of gay guys (e.g., gay rehab, where I just got back from), I change quite a bit (read: screaming queen ;)). I suppose we could trade auras. :mamoru:
     
  8. Wolf

    Wolf No one plans to take the path that brings you lowe

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2003
    Messages:
    105,186
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    People keep thinking I'm straight!! :noes: :hsughno:
     
  9. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    ...uhh, no. I actually went 'awwww'.
     
  10. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2004
    Messages:
    12,343
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland ; the land of Mary's...
    Words only have the power that you give them. Clearly, you are not gay because every fag learns this lesson early...

    Don't let it bother you. Yes, dependent upon your age, easier said than done. Yes, having people not understand you or believe you is annoying. Rise above it. What they think does not hurt you. Find your own happiness.

    Simply put, fuck them.
     
  11. Carrots

    Carrots New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2006
    Messages:
    514
    Likes Received:
    0
    :( I don't know what to say except that you have to learn to ignore the people who'd rather gossip than accept who you really are. A lot of people don't realize that sometimes homophobia hurts straight folks just as much as gays. If you really did like men, you could get it over with, look them right in the eye and say "Yes I am, and f*ck you." But as long as anyone, regardless of their true sexuality, is denying rumors, people will keep spreading them.

    A lot of people seem to get out of that situation by making it known that they hate fags, and that all queers ought to be shot. And in doing so they just add to the homophobic culture that makes life hell for all the other "potentially gay" folks in the area.
     
  12. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2005
    Messages:
    1,878
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Springfield, VA
    Reminds me of the main forums. :greddyd:
     
  13. tony

    tony Guest

    you must be then :p
     
  14. mikelcroft.

    mikelcroft. New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4,092
    Likes Received:
    0
    :werd: :rofl::noes:
     
  15. Kakashi

    Kakashi I'm kind of a big deal.

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2006
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    society has this sort of perception on how you supposedly act when gay.. stereotypes, if you happen to fit one, you'll likely to be assumed to be gay, even if you're not. Sucks, but that's the way of the world.

    don't stress it much though, girls like gay guys, so if you're "acting gay", you must be doing something right. XD
     
  16. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    shhhh :mamoru:
     
  17. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    Especially in the south. It is all about stereotyping!!!

    And yes you are right, while all the guys said I acted too gay when I was younger, I was the one that never had a problem finding a a beautiful woman :dunno:

    You will never please everyone with how you act, thats why its best to just be you and tell the haters to fuck off.
     
  18. Jobe

    Jobe keke ^_^

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    8,608
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Razorbackville
    :werd: :o

    But to the threadstarter... have you considered venturing out and leaving said small clicky town?
     

Share This Page