LGBT People I need fuckin help seriously.

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Tony Montana, Apr 16, 2005.

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  1. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    I dunno what's going on my mind lately, but I've talked to my therapist and she says most homophobes are gay or either closet homos. The thing is I'm afraid of gay people and also hate them, in fact if one has crossed the line with me, i'd just knock him out for doing that, etc, slappin, grabbin me on the ass which happened at a huge new years party and some fag did that and i got so mad and beat him up for that. Now then, I've also been tramantized with homosexual thoughts RARELY, sometimes never in a day, sometimes if it happens i usually try to shut it off quickly as possible and i'm also scared that thinkin that kind of shit usually leads me as a fuckin fag...which im hoping im not at all and i wanted to ask you people if this has happened to you b4 and you finally found out you were gay or if this happened b4 and usually it will go away as you fight it off? Another thing, I like talkin to hot girls cuz im a handsome guy and lots of girls likes to attract to me and talk/flirt which im totally cool and even got laid and fuckin enjoyed it. I also once got a 3some with 2 girls. I even still look at their asses/tits and face/eyes all the quality shit about it and I don't talk about shoppin and shit. So I'm really, really fuckin confused in here, please help me. Another thing is that sometimes when i see a good-lookin man, i take more then just a glimpse but never thought anything sexual, sometimes i take a glimpse and walk away. I dont look down either, just straight up and leave.
     
  2. coma

    coma New Member

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    Hell, I look at beautiful women all of the time, but it hasn't made me str8.
     
  3. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    well i get horny lookin at them and talkin at them...i'm kind of a perv, lookin at their tits and ass. Am i fuckin bi or curious? shit i think im gonna kill myself.
     
  4. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest


    I was just exaggerating about killin myself cuz if that happens, my life will be in ruins and i will probably lock myself in the apt.

    About the clothes, i wear "gangsta" but i dont dress "Gangsta" you know, if i like a Sean John T-shirt, i'd buy it but it has to be the right color, i dont buy alot of jewelry cuz i only have a silver necklace and diamond earring which is good enough for me. I dont think i pay careful attention at all, if i see a clothin that looks cool then i might buy it. I like clothes like karl kani, phat farm, sean john, g-unit....etc.

    if i take more then a glimpse, i say, not bad and probably look at his shoulder/chest area but never look anymore after that, i dont even stare at his dick or whatever and never did.

    my thoughts on a good lookin guy is either not bad, cool...or he looks like a badass.


    what the hell is fellatio?

    When im at the gym, alot of people stare at me, guys and girls, i mean ALOT and its fuckin irritating for me, i dont mind the girls but i do mind the guys, sometimes i get pissed when they stare too much i give them the finger.


    Girls look at me as a cute badboy type, and i know alot of girls were attracted to me in high school, even the hottest one in the whole school. I made a shitload of friends but never crossed the line as being gay cuz i never thought of that. When i got out of hs, i had nothing, no job and no school so my motivation lacks and the homosexual part kinda popped in my mind outta nowhere but it rarely happens and if it does i try to fight it off and think of pussy and tits and also the girls i like. it eventually goes away but it will come back sometime everytime so im seriously fuckin confused.
    But my motivation is gonna be back, in a few months i will be in college, and few weeks im gonna learn boxing and get a job too.
     
  5. MLH

    MLH New Member

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    One, you are a very upset individual...and two, we are not here to tell you if you are gay/straight/bi/curious...only you know that and only you can act on what your truly feel......
    Just for the record you should watch your tone when asking people for advice because I am sure I am not alone but alot of people probably read the thread and said asshole and didnt reply....
    and fellatio is a blowjob, head, whatever you call it......its a proper way of saying it.
     
  6. XxRicanxX

    XxRicanxX New Member

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    This advice is coming from a heterosexual guy. I think you should keep going to see your therapist. I believe, as well as many others on this site, that you have extreme anger issues. I am not sure if you are truly an angry person or you are just too immature or what, but it needs attention.

    Good luck man.
     
  7. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Well, I'm not really sure that most homophobes are secretly gay... but it seems like it.

    Also, if you take a poll of gay men and women, and ask them if they WANTED to be gay, most will say that they didn't want to be gay.

    10 years later, asked if they could take a pill and be straight, most would say that they wouldn't take the pill and actually like their lifestyle.

    IF you are gay (and I say "IF" because that's not our place to make a call here), it will likely be a difficult process for you (because of the homophobia and apparent shame you feel about yourself). But, once through the process, being gay is not a bad thing at all... it's like having red hair or being a vegetarian... it's just something you are.
     
  8. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    I think your problem, apart from anger, is that you're not secure with your sexuality. I'm a heterosexual guy, and I look at other guys. Not sexually, I don't get aroused, but it's interesting to see who is around me and how I stand up to them.
     
  9. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    yeah that sounds like it. I thought i was gay for doing that. but at least im fuckin heterosexual. I'm quite an open minded guy but very closed minded on gay thoughts and it terrifies me whatever i randomly think it which i dont meant to, it just pops it up and i fight it off.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2005
  10. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    I sorta do have anger problems, I'm also a sensitive guy which if i laugh really hard, within 10 secs straight, i get tears on my eyes. When I look at a girl, i'm intriguted by their looks and i sometimes if i want to kiss a girl bad, i just stare on their lips dead-on and their eyes. When i see a handsome guy, i just nod my head "what up head" or raise my 3 finger hands as in whats up if hes from the distance. I never will cross the line, and i dont plan to either. The only thing bothers me is the homosexual thoughts on my mind lately on and off, its seriously confusing.
     
  11. Roger

    Roger New Member

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    Hey, don't let these ideas get to you so much, it's not like there's a deadline when you have to know your sexual orientation. If you would relax and enjoy your life for however you are, you'll be much happier. Continue to see your therapist, lucky for you that you're already seeing one. First step is to relax, second step is to respect everyone, guys bumping your ass shouldn't make you crazy. Hell, guys buy me drinks in bars and invite me out to their cars for drugs, I just buy a second round between us, explain that I don't wish to go out to their car, and thank them for the first drink. Relax dude....relax.
     
  12. TheAceOfSpades

    TheAceOfSpades New Member

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    i too think you arent secure with your sexuality. Im strait and everything, but i will notice a good looking guy, but that doesnt make me think im gay. I am confident in my sexuality, so that kind of stuff really doesnt bother me. Sam Gamgee made a thread in the freakyshiat section about posting your man parts. i looked through that a little, not because i liked it, i was just curious how i measured out compared to other guys. i wasnt turned on by the pictures or anything though. Good luck:)
     
  13. umop apisdn

    umop apisdn What has 1000 tits and flies?

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    size=11tybillion

    dot


    That being said, being gay/straight is the LEAST of your issues right now... issues that participants on this forum can't help you with.

    My suggestion: Don't read too much in to it.
     
  14. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    To the OP?

    Don't worry about your irrational fears.

    (what is it, exactly, that scares you about guys looking at you in a sexual manner, but doesn't scare you when girls do it? are you afraid you might look back? afraid you might like it? afraid they're going to get up and rape you? afraid that someone might see them looking? what?)

    Deal with your anger issues.

    (and you've got a lot - you beat up some kid because he grabbed your ass? overreact much? if i'd seen that, i'd've ripped you apart... )

    Continue with professional help.

    (cuz poor bastards on the internet can't fix the shit that's wrong with you, man, you're fucked up..)



    Oh, if you wanted a nice reply, you shouldn't have started by insulting me.
     
  15. Josey

    Josey New Member

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  16. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    umm, who said i was insulting you? i never insulted anybody, but maybe i probably have insulted alot of fags. Anyways to answer your question, some kid grabbed my ass cuz he was on coke and hammered, first time coke user btw and i was like what the fuck man? looked at him, he gave me this faggoty look so i pushed him and then landed like 6 punches b4 he went out. I don't care if girls look me in a sexual manner, in fact I like it, and i also play with them too and try mack on them. As for guys, I AM afraid of them lookin at me in a sexual manner, no matter how fuckin handsome they are, i just get all tense and pissed. It's just that my mind is going off like an alarm cuz in case you guys didnt know im a deaf guy that can speak english perfectly like you others but i aint white, im a rare guy which you never usually see, lets say its not common to see a guy whos naturally tanned. Speakin that im deaf, i can also hear with my hearing aids, but not very well. I'm also alert to every single fuckin movement i see on my eyes and i dont get why i "mimic" the movement whatevers happening then i get shaky and shit, like im confused. I hear so much shit that like everything occurs to me when people talk and its ridiculous but i cant seem to control it, that only happens when im high and yes im quite a stoner myself. But now just 2 straight guys posted above, im pretty much like they are except for AcesofSpades which I don't do at all. so i dont think im a fag. I didnt say i was deaf b4 cuz i wanna see what the people gotta say about that. The only reason I feel weird and confused cuz i sorta mimic the movements whatever i see, and i try to control it, sometimes i get shaky and shit, and hearing/seeing things that arent in effect so i thought i was gay for that but i dont think i am. Thank God So question for you gays, do i sound gay? be honest.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2005
  17. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    Also another thing, since im a stoner, whats paranoia schizophrenia? i might have that or just extreme paranoia?
     
  18. Electric Head

    Electric Head New Member

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    You sound like a very very confused person. You may be gay you may not. Its not our job to chose or tell you. Sorry dude. You're gonna have to find out on your own. Good luck :hsd:
     
  19. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    aww man, thats the worse part, TELL ME IF IM GAY OR STRAIGHT DAMMIT! I hate this superstitious bullshit, telling me i got real problems trying to coordinate myself from people. Btw does anybody know how to get rid of this superstitous crap cuz it's annoying for me. god i wish i wasnt deaf, i can probably guarantee you none of this weird shit would've happened.
     
  20. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    another thing, do dreams count? i dunno, but i NEVER ever had a dream that involves in penis or gay shit like that except maybe i was at this train, and there was a party full of fags and i was scared shitless, trying to make my way outta the train and when i was about to, something hit me some fuckin floating train? it was way too fast, couldn't see properly or some large object, i dunno what and thats how i woke up. Thats the only closest gay dream i have. The rest is just talkin at girls, even banging them and having wet dreams from the girls i dont even know. In my dream im like hearing, i can hear and i dont act weird and shit. Im like a fuckin playa in my dream. One more thing, I personally think myself im not a fag cuz theres a few girls that i probably feel the tension inside me, and yes its a good tension probably chemistry feelin or some shit. Theres this girl that I really like, but she's got a 3 yr bf and im pissed at him for having her lol. A fag cannot have that. True right?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2005
  21. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    First off, stop saying "fag". Or I'm going to start throwing slurs and insults your way. If you asked a black person a question, would you say the N word? Didn't think so. You're not doing yourself any favors... "Hey sp1c, what's a pinata?" will get you beat down. Ever say that word in front of me, and I'll snap your ass in half.

    As many people in this thread have said, absolutely no one can tell you if you're gay or not except you. To me, it doesn't sound like it, but then again, I only know what you post. Look at it this way - you really like a chick, you're into her, and you ask your best buddy if you're in love with the girl. He's going to say, "Well, dude, looks like it, but only you know the answer." Same thing here - we can judge behavior and make somewhat educated guesses, but we can only guess.

    I doubt your hearing problems have anything to do with this or your anger, except perhaps resentment that others can hear well and you can't. I honestly don't know if that could cause that much anger, so who knows...

    It's good that you can admit that a guy looking at you in a sexual manner causes fear. The next step would be to ask yourself what causes that fear? Is it a fear that they'll rape you? A fear that they'll come on to you? A fear that you might like it? I don't know the answer to that question - again, only you do.

    It also seems that you spend an awful lot of time thinking (and dreaming) about gay people, so I would say certainly there's something inside you that needs to be addressed. Don't interpret that to mean that you're gay - it just means that there's an unresolved issue/question/idea in your mind regarding gay people. Maybe you're just curious. Maybe you want to talk to a gay person and ask them questions. Maybe you've got a friend/family member that's gay and you're unsure how to deal with it (in which case, the short answer is to treat them like you always have).

    I will say this much; once you're secure in your sexuality, whatever it is, the issues with people looking at you will go away.
     
  22. Verdugo

    Verdugo New Member

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    You're a prisoner of society's repression
     
  23. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    I get fear of a guy lookin at me, cuz its mainly what im thinking, what the fuck you lookin at? or oh shit, this guys a fag. I dont have any relatives or friends that is gay, at least i dont think so. So you're saying i gotta be secure with my sexuality and this issue with people lookin at me will go away? damn. God being deaf sucks, it's an issue where i used to wear in public, didnt give a shit and when i went to mexico for a week, sooooooooo many people stared at me dead on and shit, so i got pissed and took them off, never wore them again in pub. I built that phobia where im afraid of people staring at me too many times makes me wonder what are you thinkin? what do you want? and sometimes coordinating people like in sudden movements, my eyes flick, wtf help me! :wtc:
     
  24. Tony Montana

    Tony Montana Guest

    :rofl:
     
  25. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    You care entirely too much about what other people think about you. You seriously need to work on your individual identity.
     
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