SRS People are morons that need to be shot v.rant

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Clix, May 1, 2007.

  1. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    I swear to god. It been alittle over a year since I broke up with my ex and shes getting married. I think shes fucking stupid and i feel bad for the guy that wants to marry her becuase I honestly think shes trying to marry the first guy that will propose to her (they have been together for 8-9 months). Its irrelevant but fuck. I still get pains in my chest thinking about her and go nuts in my head about her sometimes but its getting better.

    Anyways i found out a week before she got engaged she was getting engaged and ever since she did get engage I swear to fucking jesus christ our lord that everyone and their damn mothers have to remind me she is engaged. Even people I fucking hate have randomly Imed me and is just like "hey man havent talked to ya in awhile I guess youve heard about so and so" like im a fucking moron. did it not dawn on these people that we have the same mutual friends so acrouse I am going to fucking know. Jesus christ I swear the movie "idiocracy" is becoming true more and more today the way people act.

    anyways this happen to others? I mean when shit like this has happened to my friends I dont go blabbing about how their ex is doing this and that. I respect them and unless they talk about it I dont.

    Thank you for reading. Your previously scheduled reading can now go back to normal.
     
  2. Take a deep breath and calm down.

    Now, I have dealt with a similar issue, that was part of the reason I got rid of a lot of friends.
     
  3. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    Its not taking a deep breath. Its the fact everyone knows how much I love/loved this girl and ive told my friends repeatedly in a nice manner I dont want to hear about her. For the most part its been like that we just dont talk about her and if she does come up they pad it for me.

    I mean ive gone from being homeless, jobless, poor, in the dumps, pretty much the lowest of the low to i have a nice apartment, a good job, and shit going for me. I dunno ive come to realize alot about my ex recently. Ive had multiple people tell me that i musta loved her becuase of all the issues she has which makes me feel better that I wasnt a complete screwup with her. I took my shot at trying to get her back and I could have but that time is passed so its become whatever and im just getting though the day one at a time. Im proud of myself cuase of the past if I get mad or hurt (which shes hurt me over and over the fact people keep informing me shes engaged doesnt help) id just go nuts and put holes in walls and stuff but I havent done anything to that extent but I just feel like my will power against is fading fast now that people have something to talk about. I dunno anymore, i long for the day I dont think about her althought im sure that wont ever happen but it meh.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You sound bitter. Exquisitely bitter. That comes through loud and clear.
    That all these other people are supposedly "morons"...doesn't really seem to be as clear.

    If your ex-gf 'ruins' her life by marrying this guy, so be it. It's her life to live as she chooses.
    That's the beauty of it being HER life.

    This whole thing wouldn't bother you as much if you were truly over her.
    How about working on that instead, and block out what you think other people are feeling or saying about this.
     
  5. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    A sad fact is that day after day, your brain reevaluates what is important based on the previous days events. If she is not in the picture, the memory of her keeps recessing while others become more dominant. Eventually you will not feel that pang in your heart when you think of her.

    This is for your own good I suppose. I know it helped me, I've been hurt when I was in love.

    You need time to "heal". Keep your mind focused hard on whatever it is you do. Join the gym, etc.
     
  6. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    Let it go....don't let it bother you. People just like to blab...shrug it off.
     
  7. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Find a good response and stick to it. When people say- 'oh did you hear blah blah is getting married' say 'Well good luck to her husband!' and leave it at that. Don't let them get a rise out of you- whether they're doing it intentionally or not.

    Then take some time to yourself and get over her. You said that she has some major issues- are you really still in love with her, OR are you in love with the thought of being in love with her? Are you still in love with her or with what were the good parts of your relationship?

    It's been a year Clix- it's time to let her go. Don't let her memory control you anymore- YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT! Find what makes you happy- do something just for you.
     
  8. Look, clearly you were attracted to her because of her emotional issues, probably trying hard to fix her. You now see that you can't fix anyone but yourself. The problem is that when you are trying to fix someone that isn't yourself it won't work. Now calmly, when people start saying things about your ex, just come back with good luck to her, then drop it. I still have to deal with a lot of crap from people about my ex. It doesn't bother me anymore, maybe I'm too emotionless, maybe I'm just human. Let them talk as much as they want, it won't make a difference to you, you paid your dues to be where you are, she hasn't. Now relax, being bitter doesn't help, being jaded is briefly fun, but not what you expect. A good way to get over her, from a good friends advice is anytime you think about her, think about what made you upset about her, you want all thoughts associated with her to be negative over time, therefore making her a clear negative in your life, not making her of any importance, because as humans, we want to take the path of least pain or resistance. Good luck on this, I'm sure you will overcome it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2007
  9. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    I dont have a need to fix people. I found out all her baggage after I stated dating her. I didnt know what I was jumping into but its irrelevant becuase I was more than happy to be with her.

    Im not bitter. Im just pissed off at the world. I was bitter for the first 8 months and in the last 3-4 ive gotten over it. It just doesnt help me when people like to say things about her. Im not trying to be with her anymore. I gave up on that awhile ago. It doesnt matter I just want people to respect me when it comes to her that its a painful thing to me still to some extent and id rather not dwell on her becuase people talk about her and I do think about her alot. Its whatever. Ive come to a responce to some people. I dont think im physically intimidating but people find me so. So ive just said fuck it and told anyone I dont consider a good friend that if they would like to shove in my face I will inkind shove my foot up their ass. Ive lost all will to care about others feelings when they dont consider mine.
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    take the high road

    wish her the best and work on your own happiness
     
  11. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I learned long ago that when you let trivial shit bother you this much, you're only costing yourself. Let the pointless shit roll off of your shoulders. You are doing this to you. It's not other people's fault. They can't control your emotions for you. Only you can. I know it's not always easy, but you have to work on it.

    I have a bad temper and a low tolerance for guys who like to act tough and get in people's faces over nothing or stupid shit. This has cost me a lot of fights in my life. I could sit here and blame these idiot losers for trying to act like a badass and bully all of the time, but blaming them doesn't relieve me of my reaction. I could be the bigger man and walk away. When I choose not to walk away and I choose confrontation it is my fault, not theirs. Same with you. If you go apeshit because people are acting stupid, don't blame them, blame yourself and try to control it.
     
  12. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    That's the whole point man. You're finger pointing the world for YOUR feelings. Who cares if people are being stupid or forgetful of your sensitiveness regarding the issue. This type of "everyone's fault" and lack of personal responsibility is extremely self destructive. You know what other guys tend to think this way? Those school shooters. V/T and Columbine. I am in no way saying you are anything of the sort, but I am saying that this self destructive mentality breaks people down, some of them to the point to where they act out like those people have.
    Take a deep breath and decide that this attitude and these feelings are not good enough for your life and they should have no part of you. You're too good for it. Let it go man.
     
  13. HipHopHead

    HipHopHead Well-Known Member

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    I lived with this girl for 5 years. We broke up (mainly because I wasn't ready to get married yet, we were 23/24) and she was pregnant like 6 months later and married within a year of braking up. Ate me up inside for a good year but I eventually got over it and moved on to another girl. This was 3 years ago. She is now just getting started with the divorce procedure.
     
  14. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    See thats the difference. Ive taken all this crap and turned it into progress you could say. Its not everyones fault. Its mine that I let her get away in the beggining but when people know the sensitivity of the situation then they need to have some respect about it. For instance. Last night which pushed the ship overboard is this guy went to college with. I hate him for various reason and if I saw him on the street would have a hard time not beating the piss out of him for some of the bullshit he tried to pull with my ex when we were together. Long story short he knows that I was devistated when I broke up with my ex. I mean I know I was depressed so much and hes all like well i cheated on my fiance and blah blah blah and I wasnt the asshole everytime I talked to him for a short while after to bring it up. Anyways I havent talked to this dude in probally oh 9-10 months. He randomly IMs me last night and is like hey man whats up I guess you heard about so and so getting engaged. im just like yes I know no need to bring it up. hes just like well it hurts me to man. This dude is fucking retard. He doesnt understand the baggage that comes along with this woman yet he thinks hes so hurt by her getting engaged when hes supposally engaged himself. He didnt have him heart shattered, stomped on, pissed on, spat upon, and everything else a woman can do to a mans heart and hes trying to tell me hes as hurt by her that I am. Its fucking crazy.

    Eitherway I just need to get this out I guess. I love the woman but god would I like to ring her neck. If her marriage last then good for her but fuck I just know her so well. I mean fuck almost 4-5 months after we broke up and we almost got back together again she straight out told me I still know her better than anyone else then went on to tell me she plans to be engaged within a year and married within a year a half and its fucking nuts. I would have married her which is why this is preticularly sensitive to me but I told her I wouldnt marry her off the bat which is what she wants. I mean fuck i swear shes just trying to rope in the first guy that would say yes when she wants and becuase I know her so well if it doesnt all end well then unless all the fucking sudden she changed into this person that doesnt break down like a 2 year old becuase someone said no almost everytime then it woud be different but GODDAMN i still care to goddamn much about her. Bah I think im still fucked up in the head about her and as much as I want to deny it I know I am and it just seems like there aint nothing I can do about it. It has gotten better but damnit its like everytime I take a step in the opposite direction and with as much mental toughness ive come to find myself to have anything involving her just knocks me on my ass.

    Just FYI im not self destructive. I was in the beggining but ive gotten past that phase. I dont beat myself to death about her anymore. I dont go crazy althought this seems like it but its really not. People like VT and stuff its becuase they got more deeply suited issues. She doesnt affect me enought where I dont go after other girls and she keeps me from doing certain things. I do whatever I want. I just still picking up the last few peices on my heart it seems still. Its become whatever. Im still have a short fuse about her when it comes to my feeling regarding her but it doesnt keep me down. Yeah I get pissed for alittle bit but im done. The people who have a dagger to twist know if they want to turn it alittle bit ill reign down with piss and viniger with them becuase they have no space to even be talking to me so its cool. Actually I feel better now that ive just been able to bitch about this crap.

    Thanks guys :hug:
     
  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Since you broke up with her...you have noone to blame but yourself.

    Why do you give a shit what she does after you broke up with her??? Oh wait....were you perhaps playing games like breaking up with her to force her to do something you wanted her to do and she said fuck u???

    I dunno..when I broke up with my ex and heard she was getting married, I was happy for her. I was also extatic that it wasn't ME getting married to her. Your reaction to this whole deal sounds like you realize you fucked up in breaking up with her. Live and learn dude.
     
  16. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    She broke up with me.
     
  17. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Then why did you say you broke up with her in your OP??
     
  18. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    My bad I didnt catch that.
     
  19. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Fair enough and that explains more of why you are bitter/upset with this news. You know what tho....just because her life is moving on and yours may or may not be, doesn't mean anything. You have just as much opportunity to create the life you want as anyone else does.

    Ever hear the phrase, "Fake it till you make it" or "Act as if"? These phrases mean act as if something is a reality in your life....even if it isn't a reality....yet.

    So if you want to be free from these emotions, you can act as if news about your ex doesn't effect you. You can be happy for her and her success. And you can also be working on improving yourself at the same time. So anytime you catch yourself going negative, you stop yourself immediatly. Then you replace those negative thoughts with a positive one....EVEN IF YOU DON"T BELIEVE IT....SAY IT. Before too long, those old negative thoughts will just drift away.

    Many people think this kind of thing is just ignoring reality or won't work or w/e. But I've seen it work miracles in peoples lives. The key tho is you have to do it consistently and sometimes it takes awhile. It's all up to you.

    You are the master of your emotions. Your emotions are NOT the master of you. It's up to you to exert your will in taming and redirecting the energy into directions you want them to go...instead of just being swept away in a river of emotions.

    The choice is yours to make.

    EDIT: Another thing....you can't make people stop talking about your ex. What you can do is work on how you react and how these sorts of things effect you. That's what I'm talking about in this post.
     
  20. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Fake it till you make it... talk about a gem- that's my favorite AA slogan right there. :bigthumb: I probably repeat that to myself just about everyday. That mindset has helped me to change in ways I never thought possible.

    Clix- Cootie is right. Give it a real try- I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised.:coold:

    Cootie- excellent advice :h5:
     
  21. Clix

    Clix New Member

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    But its not letting it get to me though. Its that im more tired of people telling me something I know. My life is moving forward. Im not stuck in repeat. I do control what I do. Like ive said earlier I could just go nuts about this and let my anger about it or whatever and go nuts but I stop myself. Ive turned loseing her into getting a tight grip on my life. If I wanted to I could go live with my mom and not have to do anything but maybe eat once a day and then sit around feeling sorry for myself. Instead ive gone from having nothing, I mean literally almost nothing. When we broke up I did up and leave to my mothers for 2 months feeling sorry for myself then I made a choice and went and moved back to Texas my home state and slowly but surely got my shit together. I just get freakin annoyed when people tell me something I already know and then even when I calmly tell them yes I know and I dont care to hear/talk about it they have to keep up with it. In 6 months ive gone from scraping together pennies to buy gas to get down the road to where I have enough money in the bank I can go out with friends and dont have to worry about if I have money for food or gas the next day.

    I dunno man its not anymore more than the slow process of getting it out of my system. Its just what had happened between us that makes it harder. As far as being happy for her I dunno if I could.
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Your lack of patience is an indication of something. Noone can read minds, yet you expect others to somehow be able to understand what you have and have not heard before. Then you get pissed when you've heard it before. WHY???

    IMO it's because you haven't healed your heart yet.
    Awesome. :bigthumb:
    You have an unrealistic expectation that people will know what you know....or know that you know something already before discussing it. Perhaps you should print up a menu of acceptable topics to you...then before you begin a conversation, give it to the person and say...pick one.
    So wait, every time you begin to talk about what pisses you off (that people don't somehow know what you know) you revert to how you've changed your life. Meanwhile, you're still pissed at the world.

    You know....I believe that anger is simply a secondary emotion. The primary emotion behind the anger is fear.

    Now...this usually torques with most peoples brains when I first discuss this with them and you know why??? Because anger is outward focused. You are angry with someone else or you're pissed because of something external to you.

    When one begins to see anger as being caused by fear, they have to turn inward and ask themselves, What Am I Afraid Of?? This is very difficult to do and most peoples pride won't let them do this. Fuck pride and you damned sure don't have to admit to me or anyone else in the world that you are affraid. However, be honest with yourself about this.

    I used to have soo much rage inside me it wasn't even funny. It burned white hot all the time but I covered it up for years and years. Finally I had to start dealing with my anger and the key was to work on what I was afraid of.....but first I had to learn what I was afraid of. I honestly didn't know but it took this kind of work to uncover all the different ways I was afraid. Only then could I truly "cure" my anger issues.
    The popular belief is that you have to let the anger out of your system and then you'll feel better. PUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGEEE.

    You prolly know by now that I disagree with this. Anger breeds anger because it reinforces our fears and assures us that we are correct and justified in being angry. Oh sure....letting it out is a temporary fix but in my case, it always came back and often it was even more intense than before.

    To be truly free of anger, I believe that one must deal with their fears. Afterall IMO anger is just a by product of fear.
     
  23. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Thanks!! :h5:
     

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