LGBT Part 1 finished part 2 still undecided....

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Atlantis, Feb 22, 2008.

  1. Atlantis

    Atlantis Guest

    Ok well as some of you may (or may not) know. I have sorta started coming out... ppl I know only online have known for months (not a big deal for me) but the last couple weeks I told 2 of my cousins (who took it incredibly well and are extremely supportive, not really surprised by that... thats why I told THEM :p)


    Anyways... I am in the good ol' situation of being in a homophobic gay hating Christian family living in a small town where there is a grand total of 0 publicly gay people and where almost everyone is homophobic/christian. There are a few people I think might be accepting but the problem with this is if I come out to one or 2 ppl everyone in the town will find out within a week or two... The joys of living in a small town, gossip travels hella fast and no one can keep a fucking secret :boos:.

    Anyways... I am currently 18 and just finishing up last couple credits at highschool and had told my cousins/been trying to tell myself not to do anything before I finished up school. I should be done highshool in the next few months.

    Problem with that is now that I've told cousins and it went so well I am constantly thinking of telling a couple ppl at school... options there are limited... there is one guy there who acts fairly gay but still claims to be straight (he is soooooo hot >.<) and another guy who seems to have been hitting on me/interested but is also not public. I am considering telling the second one.

    Problem part 2 is that I was home schooled all my life so this is my first year of normal highshool and already in grade 12... so I dont know that many ppl there all that well. The one person I do know fairly well/am friends with actually got in trouble with police for aperantly harassing the guy who looks/acts gay over msn. Charges were dropped but still... shows he aint exactly that accepting at all... That combined with the fact he is really concerned about what people might think means if I do come out even if he is fine with it he will still prob never speak to me again just cause of what people might think (yes, he is a asshole like that :p)

    Anyways... not really sure what I wanting from this post... mostly a way to vent/get opinions on what you guys think about it/maybe some encouragement or something :p


    There were also a couple girls at school I was sorta considering telling (they are really nice but dont know them thaattt well so I dont really know how accepting they are :-\)
     
  2. Sckrewy

    Sckrewy New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2008
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not all Christians will bash you because you're gay. However, you know your town better than I do.

    I would be very cautious of telling people in school, especially if they carry the same mentality of the townsfolk you speak of. Save it for Community College or State College. (You're going to College, right?)
     
  3. Atlantis

    Atlantis Guest

    Not for another year... working for a while first.

    Only reason I am kinda arguing if I gonna do it or not is cause first of all unless I am totally out of the loop he is hitting on me/interested and is damn good looking. If I dont tell him before school finishes up 99 pct chance I wont be seeing him again other then maybe randomly see him at a store or something...

    + I am gonna be stuck here for another year and really... I reallllyyyy don't wanna wait that long... damn my impatience! :p


    <edit>

    also... srry to tell you but no such thing as community/state collage in canada :p
     
  4. RX Bandit

    RX Bandit Sell You Beautiful »

    Joined:
    May 9, 2002
    Messages:
    41,382
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Red Sox Nation
    The vast majority of guys under the age of 25 (hell maybe even age 30 or beyond) are not ready to settle down and be "gay" in a real relationship. So just don't expect him to hold your hand in public and allow you to jokingly grab at him if you are drunk at a bar or something.

    My advice is take what you can get, in the way of sex/"straight" companionship with the second dude IF (and only if) you feel comfortable coming out to him.

    Small towns are not fun and I speak from experience.
     
  5. Atlantis

    Atlantis Guest

    Ooh I am not expecting any real "relationship"... just saying there is a chance is he gay or at least bi and open the the thought of getting some action. I could be totally mistaken and he is just a nice guy with more interest in me then most people would have.... but something tells me its not.

    But yah, I faint expecting any serious relationship to come from it or anything.
     
  6. trlc463

    trlc463 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2005
    Messages:
    2,605
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UT Texas
    Its good that you've started to tell people (online) but I wouldn't hastily go around telling people you don't really know or trust

    But everything will resolve itself with time:hs:
     
  7. RedGoober4Life

    RedGoober4Life New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2003
    Messages:
    3,859
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    DTW
    It seems like you feel the need to tell more people, but just tell the people that you trust without any doubt. High school is really a tough place to be openly gay, and coming out in high school proved to be more of a burden than a relief from being burdened for me.

    Your mileage may vary.

    University is fantastic though. It's what you make of it. Go to a big school, meet a lot of neat people from all over the world, be loved. :)
     
  8. LA02MAX

    LA02MAX New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,294
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Baton Rouge, LA
    I'm kinda in the same place as you. I don't want to tell people, but I can barely contain it! lol.
     
  9. spiffy_badrock

    spiffy_badrock I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2004
    Messages:
    1,340
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Floatin' Through The Mangroves
    You would think people would be more open minded in Canada.
     
  10. Atlantis

    Atlantis Guest

    yah I dont want to tell everyone in town its that if I tell anyone around here everyone will find out cause of how fast and easily rumors travel around here...

    Already told my cousins, but thats all so far (for people that I know irl)

    As I said, considering telling this one guy cause I think he might accept it/might be gay/bi... I dunno though.


    In most areas I guess they are... Small town consisting of like 90 pct bible thumping dutch farming immigrants.... so yah... not big on accepting/diversity :p
     
  11. :|

    :| Guest

    toronto != canada
     
  12. Digital_

    Digital_ New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2007
    Messages:
    2,178
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Austin TX
    You feel the need to tell people, so obviously you are pretty certain of your sexuality. My question why is it important that they know? Especially if it might bring you more emotional trouble. I'd say that you're looking for attention, and that is a valid answer. Looking at the fact that you've been home schooled till your last year of HS you probably didn't have the social interactions that most of us had. Problem being is that you may be over reacting to that new situation.

    When you tell us that one of your "friends" from school is a known homophobe (to the point that police had to involve themselves) then you obviously don't understand what a friend is. You look toward this other guy that may be gay because he acts feminine and got picked on by said homophobe for acceptance and a maybe a little action. We all understand that, believe me. But you really might want to slow the pace down a little. The sex is great and your first time is going to be weird and great, but I don't think you're going about it the best way.

    Take your time, you've already taken your first step and hopefully your cousins are decent, good people. Find yourself some actual friends and don't rush into things. The last thing you need is to be hated by people that need for support. It sucks to be in a situation where the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally are the ones who hate you for who you are, but trust me that is their problem, not yours. You don't need to go and make their problem your problem. Live, be happy, and get to a more comfortable place for yourself in the next year or so.

    You already have plans to go to college, and it sounds like you're going to work for a year and save up so you can get out of that town. So do it, you have goals, make your next year a time for you to get to know more about yourself. You have the internet, you can make friends there, and you have plenty of people to talk to. Don't let your sexual desires be a burden, it's not healthy. Be happy with who you are, even if you have to bite your tongue from time to time, it's only temporary, you have a plan and you'll be out of your situation soon enough. :wavey:
     

Share This Page