Ok, I cannot find my old post on here from about a year ago or something, but anyways, Ok, So I cried out for help on here awhile back, I mean I just needed to tell someone my problem, I was feed up with keeping it inside and letting it bottle up. I was embarrassed to let anyone else know(Family/Friends) It started out when I was 17 (I am 24 now) but I was doing all sorts of drugs, and the one drug that kept with me till I was 23 was Pain Pills, I loved Percasets and lortabs the most, and would never TOUCH Oxycontin(haha yah right) thats what I told myself anyways, So at age 23 I got so sick of paying so much money for a damn lil pill I met someone that sold oxy's and I manipulated him so much that I practically got them for free and ripped him off. Anyways, hanging with him, he was doing heroin and I really wanted to try it, so I did. and I was stuck. I was having withdrawls with pain pills every other day or someshit, but with heroin I would go through withdrawls literally hours later. I did SpeedBalls(Coke n Heroin) I wouldnt do one with out the other. I stole from my family, friends, and co-workers even my boss. It was a 1000-3000/mo habit. How the fuck did i get all that money? I have no fucking idea! I only made 10/hr. It was nuts. anyways, I finally got fed up with my lifestyle, I couldnt face anyone, I shut off my phone, I didnt speak with friends or family for months, and pretty much lived at my dealers house. But I finally decided to ask for help. Ok, now asking for help is probably the HARDEST thing an addict would EVER have to do. I didnt know how to do it, but I did. And then I got the help I needed, Its wierd when your in a drug induced state, that you think NO ONE CARES for you. well everyone does, everyone is scared for you. and I found that out, and I ended up recommending rehab to my folks. They did not hesitate and I was on the next plane out of the state(my request to leave state). Well I went to "The Walker Center" in Gooding, ID (which I reccomend for ANYONE!) I tried to self medicate myself TWICE before, which obviously didnt work because I relapsed and got into heroin. So I decided I needed the professional help. Now a year ago or whenever, when I was posting, I was talking about SubOxone with another fellow on here, and I used to buy it on the street. ANYWAYS, I am now on suboxone which is wonderful. It is not addictive and it helps with cravings and blocks the recptors in your brain. Anyways I AM FUCKING CLEAN! I have been clean for about 3 and a half months and this is the best I have ever felt in 7-8 years! Seriously, self medicating didnt work, I thought i would but it didnt. Professional help got me where I am today. I live a comletely different life now. I live in a different state, I am starting FReSH! I have so much love for life now. I no longer wake up wondering when or HOW i was going to gt my next fix. I hated stealing, and pawning everying I and anyone around me had. I hated not seeing family and friends, Being secluded. I love sobriety!