SRS Pain Pills & Heroin Addiction...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by watermouse, Aug 5, 2007.

  1. watermouse

    watermouse BeefySnax

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    Ok, I cannot find my old post on here from about a year ago or something, but anyways,


    Ok, So I cried out for help on here awhile back, I mean I just needed to tell someone my problem, I was feed up with keeping it inside and letting it bottle up. I was embarrassed to let anyone else know(Family/Friends)

    It started out when I was 17 (I am 24 now) but I was doing all sorts of drugs, and the one drug that kept with me till I was 23 was Pain Pills, I loved Percasets and lortabs the most, and would never TOUCH Oxycontin(haha yah right) thats what I told myself anyways, So at age 23 I got so sick of paying so much money for a damn lil pill I met someone that sold oxy's and I manipulated him so much that I practically got them for free and ripped him off. Anyways, hanging with him, he was doing heroin and I really wanted to try it, so I did. and I was stuck.

    I was having withdrawls with pain pills every other day or someshit, but with heroin I would go through withdrawls literally hours later. I did SpeedBalls(Coke n Heroin) I wouldnt do one with out the other. I stole from my family, friends, and co-workers even my boss.

    It was a 1000-3000/mo habit. How the fuck did i get all that money? I have no fucking idea! I only made 10/hr. It was nuts.

    anyways, I finally got fed up with my lifestyle, I couldnt face anyone, I shut off my phone, I didnt speak with friends or family for months, and pretty much lived at my dealers house.

    But I finally decided to ask for help. Ok, now asking for help is probably the HARDEST thing an addict would EVER have to do. I didnt know how to do it, but I did. And then I got the help I needed, Its wierd when your in a drug induced state, that you think NO ONE CARES for you. well everyone does, everyone is scared for you. and I found that out, and I ended up recommending rehab to my folks. They did not hesitate and I was on the next plane out of the state(my request to leave state).

    Well I went to "The Walker Center" in Gooding, ID (which I reccomend for ANYONE!)

    I tried to self medicate myself TWICE before, which obviously didnt work because I relapsed and got into heroin. So I decided I needed the professional help. Now a year ago or whenever, when I was posting, I was talking about SubOxone with another fellow on here, and I used to buy it on the street.

    ANYWAYS, I am now on suboxone which is wonderful. It is not addictive and it helps with cravings and blocks the recptors in your brain. Anyways I AM FUCKING CLEAN!

    I have been clean for about 3 and a half months and this is the best I have ever felt in 7-8 years!

    Seriously, self medicating didnt work, I thought i would but it didnt. Professional help got me where I am today. I live a comletely different life now. I live in a different state, I am starting FReSH!

    I have so much love for life now.
    I no longer wake up wondering when or HOW i was going to gt my next fix.
    I hated stealing, and pawning everying I and anyone around me had.
    I hated not seeing family and friends, Being secluded.

    I love sobriety!
     
  2. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    36,662
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    this toilet earth
  3. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    36,662
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    this toilet earth
    does that Emu bird still run around the backyard in that house accross the street from the walker center? ;)
     
  4. watermouse

    watermouse BeefySnax

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    haha nope, no emu. But there is a dog, called Muffin that roams around there now. Its funny, she will take the muffins and dig a hole and hide them.

    I am sure that place has changed a full 360 from when you went. there is no more adolecent side, and no CO-ED at ALL!

    however, the guys on one side, and the women on the other. But I still met a hot chick in there....I still talk to her :p

    wait....haha Actually they have built a whole new place from when you went im sure. A brand new building
     
  5. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    36,662
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    this toilet earth
    thats prolly a good idea...this dudes little sister came to visit him in rehab and i ended up with her in the kitchen...then for almost a year when i got out :rofl:
     
  6. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Messages:
    2,032
    Likes Received:
    0
    13th stepper too. :coolugh:
     
  7. watermouse

    watermouse BeefySnax

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    hahaha, 13th step = priceless
     
  8. GooeyGus

    GooeyGus I has Laz0rz.

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Marysville, WA
    :bsflag:

    Suboxone is a wonderful drug, as it has also saved my life from a 1000mg (yes 1000) a day oxycodone habit. But don't kid yourself into thinking it's all over. There is no miracle cure and we all have to pay the piper at some point. Luckily, when tapered slowly and when you're ready, suboxone is much more tame to come off of than the full agonist opioids. Good luck and congrats on getting off the bad shit. Life only gets better and better from here on out :bigthumb:
     
  9. watermouse

    watermouse BeefySnax

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2006
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    I wrote this 3 months clean, I am now 7 months clean!
    w00t!

    I feel so great. I am still on suboxone, and I feel comfortable at the stage I am at. I do not want to stop taking them just quite yet. I think I will at least hit my 1 year, then maybe cut down 2mg every 3-4 months till I am off.

    So by the time I hit my 2 year mark I will be free

    anyways. I cant believe I actually have a life now, I have money, I have a great job, and I am 100 times closer to my family.

    w00t
     
  10. infinite97

    infinite97 I don't like plain water. It makes my stomach quea

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2001
    Messages:
    32,865
    Likes Received:
    74
    Location:
    Vancouver, WA
    good job man. keep looking forward and making/hitting new goals for your life
     
  11. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2005
    Messages:
    36,662
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    this toilet earth
    do you have a sponsor?
     
  12. Binzes

    Binzes New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,637
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Albuquerque
    congratulations on 7 months now man! I have a friend that is going through the same stuff you were...He is now addicted to heroin after stepping up through all levels of pills. He has tried to quit a couple times, he is using suboxone as well to try and relieve his urges and "take the edge off"

    I unfortunately doubt it will work for him without professional help.
     
  13. GooeyGus

    GooeyGus I has Laz0rz.

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Marysville, WA
    Congrats Man!! A lot of people dont realize how incredible it is to just have a 'regular' life. Once you've been in the world of addiction, when you pull yourself back out even just the regular boring everyday life just feels incredible. Its was pretty amazing to be able to realize how much better life is off the shit, for me at least. Keep up the good work!
     
  14. doggystylin

    doggystylin New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2008
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Wow, thats amazing.
     
  15. mayfield

    mayfield New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TEXAS
    man, i applaud you...keep it up.. you started excercising yet? it helps!
     
  16. ~stangzorized~

    ~stangzorized~ New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    10,493
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Santa Rita, Guam.
    suboxen is pretty hard to come off too man, be careful
     
  17. gnat

    gnat New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2004
    Messages:
    28,371
    Likes Received:
    0
    .

    just wait until you start dropping your dose and feeling those old withdrawals... While they may not be as bad they are still very familiar and very much a pain in the ass.
     
  18. gnat

    gnat New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2004
    Messages:
    28,371
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know people who've taken it for a pretty long time. There are two standard avenues of use, either a detox route or maintenance. People who have taken opioids/opiates for long periods of time are more often than not put on a maintenance schedule because of cravings that bupe does help you with to a point. It's about getting used to not riding that roller coaster and feeling normal from day to day rather than up and down with your meds. It's also a great deterrent because of it's blocking abilities. Even if you do have cravings you know it's pretty pointless to partake so overall subs can be great for long term use. It's easy to see how helpful it can be to someone who was dependent on opiates for years.
     
  19. gnat

    gnat New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2004
    Messages:
    28,371
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's no where nearly as expensive as a opioid habbit. You can get by on about 200$ worth/mo without much problem at all. Add a doctor visit in and you have your price. 300$ for me. With regular opioids/opiates you can pay that much for a visit and scripts then run out in two weeks and spend 3 times that covering that time. The price is far cheaper overall since the medicine lasts all month.

    That's awesome that he was able to quit so quickly. I would totally go for something like that if I could just put life on hold for two weeks. :hs:
     
  20. Curren$y

    Curren$y New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2004
    Messages:
    20,275
    Likes Received:
    0
    how are you doing now man? did you ever get off suboxone? not sure if TS still is on here.
     
  21. Felixx219

    Felixx219 New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,933
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have heard horror stories about Suboxone and read about them online. But, my wife took it because she took opiod pain pills for years for chronic back pain and get having major problems with withdrawal. She took the Suboxone and within like three months she gradually reduced the dose and got off without any withdrawal at all. I know everyone is different but it worked well with her without the horrible side effects/withdrawal I have heard and read so much about.
     
  22. Felixx219

    Felixx219 New Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,933
    Likes Received:
    0
    My wife paid a $30 monthly co-pay for the doctor and $65 for a monthly supply of Suboxone. This was with insurance, of course. I couldnt imagine the cost without it.
     
  23. phoenix1105

    phoenix1105 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    543
    Likes Received:
    0
    You know it is kinda weird with suboxone. I was on pain killers originally for breaking my back, and just never stopped them. My Rx of choice was morphine. I had a hell of a time coming down off of that. The place I went required no opiates for 36 hours before they would give me suboxone. It was horrible. But, when I took subocone it worked great. I was on it for about 3 months, starting at 16mg if i remember right. After a week or two on suboxone I started to reduce it myself. I had zero trouble coming off it. I totally understand the addiction to pain killers, but suboxone never gave me any side effects. Everyone said I would be on it for years, but I never saw the attraction to it.
     
  24. DrK_Mrk_iV

    DrK_Mrk_iV OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2003
    Messages:
    12,400
    Likes Received:
    25
    Location:
    NC
    160 dr. visit

    1 dollar per 8mg strip at the pharmacy.
     
  25. Sooka

    Sooka New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2004
    Messages:
    10,238
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    East Coast
    I have been on Suboxone for almost three years and just to clarify, being on Suboxone is in no way being clean. I have not been clean for these years; rather, I have been medicated on Suboxone which is another drug in and of itself with its own side-effects and withdrawal symptoms. For the past year I have been heavily struggling to get off of Suboxone, I am just so god damn sick of being on it, but it is not easy.

    I get Suboxone off the street so I have to be in control of my own tapering, and it is damn hard if you're not extremely determined with a great amount of self control. I constantly bring my dosage down, and then down some more, only to go right back up to where I was in a stupid mistake every time I'm confident that I'm ready to quit.

    Suboxone withdrawals aren't as harsh as Oxycodone or Heroin withdrawals, but they are still pretty bad withdrawals and the fact that they last for up to a month or more makes them worse than regular withdrawals in my mind. I can handle a week of Suboxone withdrawals, but handling a month of withdrawals is another story, especially when you have to work and go to school. No energy, no motivation, horrible mood swings, depression, lack of sleep, and all the post-withdrawal symptoms for many months to come, it's something that I have struggled with so much to the point of wanting to end it all.

    Suboxone is definitely great for maintenance, I feel fine when on Suboxone and can do what I need to do to get through life. But just doing what needs to be done to get through each day isn't good enough anymore, I want to live my life unchained to Suboxone and I want to excel and prosper, I want to be passionate about something for the first time in my life since I got on opiates. Kicking Suboxone is definitely not easy though, and I hate each day while on Suboxone, I feel like a zombie with no passion and no drive. The worst part is that's how I feel during the months of coming off Suboxone and even after, sometimes I feel like I will never feel normal again and will be miserable for the rest of my life.

    Soon I will try again to get clean and I pray to God that I will succeed, because being on Suboxone slowly but surely drains my will to excel in life and be what I want to be, and it even drains my will to live. Suboxone is a drug like any other, and I'm done maintaining, I'm done being stuck in the same position while time flies past me, I have to get clean.
     

Share This Page