SRS Overthinking things?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by cantthinkof1, Jun 15, 2007.

  1. cantthinkof1

    cantthinkof1 New Member

    Mar 31, 2006
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    So I'm in this relationship, she loves me completely, and yet I've become almost numb to her and her feelings. I feel like every time we talk we just get so wrapped up in words that we talk ourselves into holes, and I feel like things are just getting more and more messed up between us. It's a LDR, which plays into it, because we're now down to talking on the phone only. Even when she tells me about an accomplishment of hers I don't really feel anything, and it feels like all our talks in the past (and even presently) had been focused on bad things going on, that now when we talk, we focus on the bad things, and I get into a bad mood, and stop caring almost. I feel like I've become less and less emotional when she calls, and all I feel like I do is get angry at her. Then things get worse when we try to rationalize everything, and nothing really works out and we just sort of run in circles with words and it's just pointless.

    It's gotten so bad now that I'm even feeling like I've become depersonalized because of it. That my feelings have been numbed, and all I'm doing is focusing on myself and not her. I do love her, and yet I don't feel like her feelings are having that big of an impact on me as they used to (together for ~9 months, and its been completely serious every step of the way). I don't want to continue to let this happen, because I'm upset at myself for letting me hurt her like this, and I'm just looking for advice for what to do. I don't want to force this idea of love if it isn't there, but I feel like I've just gotten off track somewhere, that it was just me somewhere that I started getting out of the whole I love her thing, and I feel like I just pushed it aside and didn't think about it at all. I want to get back to being completely in love with her again, but I feel like I got so far away from it, I have to really struggle to get back. But yet at the same time I'm just wondering if it got this far off track if it's just not meant to be sort of thing, and I'm just trying to save a sinking ship.

    But I just feel so numb right now I don't know what to think or do.

    Thanks for the help
  2. Lantis745

    Lantis745 Member

    Apr 7, 2007
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    Don't try to fool yourself. If you don't love her anymore or have to try to love her it's not going to work. Think of it this way. If you were "completely in love" with another girl and she had the same feelings as you did now would you be ok with that? It's a hard thing but i believe if your just hurting this girl do HER a favor and break it off. Even though she might be crushed, think how she will feel if you keep leading her on and then break it off later.

    Or if you can't decide your own feelings sit her down and explain this to her. You just are not ready for love right now and you don't think this relationship is going anywhere. You sound to me like your not ready for commintment.

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