Oversensitive to this?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Omerta6, Oct 22, 2007.

  1. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    So myself and my gf were on a pubcrawl that I orginized. I was chatting it up with people I know and whatever and we was dancing with her female friend. Another dude that knows my gf and has met me once. He was all over her that night from what she told me, grabbing her ass etc.. She said she never told him to take a hike or stop.

    On top of that some of the guys I know on the pubcrawl didn't even think we were dating...


    We are 8 months in a relationship. I'm pissed cause she let him do that then complain to me after about how hes all over her and shit. Why wouldn't she tell him to fuck off, and when I suggested I would she was like 'hes harmless' or whatever. (hes a huge douchebag btw)

    I think this is complete bullshit, she should have told him to go pound sand. But she didn't and that bothers me.

    wtfmate?
     
  2. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    Be more affectionate in public. Kiss your girl more, grab her hand, just pull her against your body if you're sitting in a circle talking to friends. Establish that it is in fact YOUR girlfriend.

    If I ever saw any guy place his hands on my girls ass, chest, whatever, there would be a brawl.

    You need to let your girl know that she needs to make it really clear that she has a boyfriend. Hell, even dancing, if it gets too dirty and you're not involved, you need to make sure she knows the limits.

    Keep your girl in line. And if you been dating for 8 months and your "friends" didn't know you were dating then I'd be certain that you need to kiss your girl a bit more.
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think your girl isn't that committed to the relationship.

    But you definitely have a right to tell her not to complain about it if she did nothing to stop it.
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    does she exhibit passive aggressive qualities elsewhere?
     
  5. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    I always do when Im around her. I was just letting her do her own thing while I was talking to all the people I goto school with since I did orginize the whole thing. I didn't think I had to babysit her.

    I never saw him do that, that is what she told me he did, trust me if I witnessed it would not have been pretty.

    They are not my 'friends' per say but moreso the people I work and deal with at a daily basis at school.

    All my friends that I hang out with when I am not at school are very well aware.
     
  6. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Shes horribly afraid of confrontation. I asked her why she didn't tell him to fuck off and she says I has a hard time doing that to anyway... :ugh: i was like wtf you have a hard time telling someone to fuck off when they are grabbing your ass? She told me she said to him 'you must be really drunk' casue she figured he was just hammed and being an idiot I assume. But he said he was stone sober and she didnt really mention that she put up to much of a fight.
    Later she said he told him she was going to the bathroom and left


    She has a history of mental issues, she is very immature with coping with problems which is the most unattractive thing about her and it drives me up the wall.
     
  7. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,216
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Miami Beach, FL
    I was at a party once with my ex. He didn't wanna dance so I was just dancing with a crowd of people and a lot with a couple of friends. He wasn't out there for a great portion of the night, but he did have his eye on me. And he did dance with me for awhile, once he saw I wasn't gonna sit out any dance!
    You have to get your girl in line. You have every right to be mad, but you also have to make sure everyone knows that you're together. It's been 8 months!
     
  8. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Shes on zoloft, and when we started school in september she just got back from South Africa because she was visiting her sick grandmother with her parents.

    She has done this before she says she is feeling great and no longer depressed then decides to stop taking her zoloft and doesn't tell me will weeks later... When every fucking time she does the same thing she ends up whirling in to depression mode where I have to do my best to pull her out of and get her to go see a psyhiatrist.

    Zoom back the weekend before the pubcrawl, she has been off the zoloft for a month, completely against all logic and my reccomendation she starts being immature again and driving me crazy while I have a heavy workload as an engineering student. She is a geology student also with alot of work to do. I was being a bit distant during the week and wanted to go out with my friends while she was going out with her roomate and her other friends to a different spot. She seperates from her friends and goes home by herself because she was the 3rd wheel of her group and noone wanted her there. So when she gets home she deciedes to text me saying she took a bunch of tylanol... so I get there and said she took about 10 liquidgels and cut herself lightly across both wrists. Obviously doing this for attention, but I was hammed at the time and well just talked to her about it and was like what in the fuck.. we've been through this before.. and you were better. blah blah blah.

    I took her to the hospital the next day, they went through all the crap when, I was so pissed at her I wanted to breakup so bad but didnt have the balls to do it. I put up with it, but it is such a huge turn off it was rediculous, I wanted to but I didnt want to. I love this girl but she needs help which I've got her to then things come up and she has to stop.

    She was very bulimic before and I helped her get over than, whihc was her coping mechanism for something that happened to her when she was younger.



    I put that stuff on the back burner and try my best to help her though it and be supportive. Where I assume she will know what to do in situations like my original post, her not being respectful of that is driving me to the edge.


    I want to help her get over that stuff but jsut the basic principle of allowing that disrespect of our relationship is almost the straw that breaks it, I don't want to deal with all this shit. But I still love her and spending time with her.


    ugh... I know what I should do but I donno.. fucking emotions are getting the best of me.

    ps this is my first real relationship.. yay go team...


    cliffs: shes is very dependant and has depression issues and we've been though alot of shit.
     
  9. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    But should I have to 'keep her inline' ? Shouldn't she do that herself respecting our relationship?

    or is that expecting to much?

    It was a big bar, I didn't think after 8 months I had to watch her the whole time and I could do my VP internal thing and talk to the poeple that decieded to come.

    I did dance with her, but I didn't feel like dancing the entire time i was at the bar nor watching her the whole time.
     
  10. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,216
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Miami Beach, FL
    Then, maybe you should have that talk with her. You trusted her. She had no respect for your relationship. My cousin hates confrontations and closes up when you try to confront her about things. But, in the long run do you really want a girl who doesn't tell guys to leave her alone when they're hitting on her? If not, then I guess you do have to baby-sit her, dont you?
     
  11. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    I talked to her yesterday and we almost broke up. I told her how her inmature coping is what is pushing me away. I want to do my best to help her, she said she would she someone and get help.

    But this is still looming in my mind and pissing me the fuck off.
     
  12. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Pretty much that and everything else is weighing on my mind. Plus what she will do if we do breakup.

    I don't want to deal with that. But I'm going about this wrong I think. I'm trying to teach her to stand up for herself and all this crap. But that takes alot of fuckign effort.
     
  13. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    11,134
    Likes Received:
    8
    So you are there for her and help her through all of her problems but she doesn't respect you or the relationship enough to tell a guy to leave her alone when he's grabbing all over her? :ugh:
     
  14. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah... :ugh:

    I donno wtf I'm doing... this is only my side of the story.. but still. She makes me distant at times, but other times I want to be with her.
     
  15. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2007
    Messages:
    5,712
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    That's your exit, bro. You seem like a really caring person. I'll openly say you have ALOT more patience then the majority of us males when put in a situation anywhere near similar to this. Your current girlfriend has a lot of issues, internally. Fortunately, she stumbled onto someone who is willing enough to try and make her better. She's using you as a crutch, and for some reason doesn't feel like she can walk without it.

    Suicide, depression, anxiety, all those issues need to be consulted regularly WITH a doctor. Going off the medication for one, isn't healthy. She's too immature to control her own dosage and shouldn't be her own caregiver. I think you've showed the extents of your limits and now is the time to make a decision.

    From personal experiences I can tell you dealing with a suicidal-breakup is NOT easy. They say only 1 out've every 15 people actually commit suicide due to breakups/relationships. Don't let the thought of her harming herself influence your decision. If you feel like you're fed up with it, if you feel like you've done everything you possibly can, then well, get out.

    Good luck brother.:dunno:
     
  16. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,216
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North Miami Beach, FL
    . You care about her a lot. And I understand you're trying to help her out, but that takes a lot of work, much patience. A lot of us have tried with my cousin, to help her speak to people when she has a problem, to stand up for herself. We've been trying for years, still trying to get somewhere, but if anything, she seems to be getting worse at times.
    And don't stay with her just because you're scared of what will happen to her. Don't stay out of pity.:hs:
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Ugh, get out of that trainwreck of a relationship and make her get herself some help. Honestly.
     
  18. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,437
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Prarie State/The Hoosier State
    .
     
  19. delay pedal

    delay pedal Guest

    first of all, if shes taking zoloft for a while then just stops suddenly, thats very bad for your brain chemically, you need to make sure she either stays on it, or weens herself off slowly. that is undoubtedly the cause of her irrational behavior, its not her, its the lack of drugs in her system messing up her brain chemistry.

    also, was she drinking heavily on zoloft, its harmful to do that

    and finally, dont feel so responsible for her. hurting herself is a very selfish thing, SHE needs to seek help, maybe spend some time apart if this is stressing you out too much
     
  20. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

    Joined:
    May 14, 2005
    Messages:
    15,613
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Francisco
    the way things are going, she's going to cheat on you with a guy like this who she feels some sort of infatuation for and isn't willing to say no to.
     
  21. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't think she would be stupid enough to cheat on me. She knows very well that I am a bad enemy to have.

    But I could be wrong, and she would regret it if I am.
     
  22. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    enemy? As in you would take revenge or do something to hurt her?

    That's not something to be proud of. That's juvenile behavior.

    You don't make enemies with people...if someone wrongs you in a relationship, the best thing you can do is to cut them out of your life.
     
  23. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0

    I've told her that but she seems to apply her logic to the situation where she is afraid of dependency on the drug/embarrassed.


    I won't stay with her out of pity, thats just unhealthy. I still love hanging out with her and spending time with her when she isn't acting like a 16 year old.




    I was planning on talkign to her today, but I ran into a shitload of homework/chiropractor appt and didn't have the opportunity.

    I don't want to dump this 8 month buildup over this, I'm going to lay it all down and try to come up with a solution. If that can't be done then I will cut the ties.


    Fuck its hard to do... stupid sexual/emotional attraction.
     
  24. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    0
    You took that wrong... I would never hurt her. But if she betrayed me like that I would have some select words then cut off all communication completely. Thats the extent of it. I don't think I could forgive her if she did that, is what I mean by enemy...
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    oh. Well, no problem if you would dump her on the spot for cheating..hell, that's expected of any self-respecting person
     

Share This Page