SRS ouch..betrayl hurts

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 98formyws6, Mar 30, 2007.

  1. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    so i've been dating this girl for a few months and i thought i was in love with her, in fact i still think i am in love w/ her

    she stopped answering her phone for about two weeks


    i talked to her friend today, turns out her ex just knocked her up and now she's going to marry him out of pressure

    i never felt this bad about anything before:wtc:

    her friend said she might arrange for us to meet so i can get closure or something, bad idea?
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    bad idea.

    write her off.

    she's pregnant with another man's baby. she's going to be focused on that, not on you

    just be thankful you aren't the one who knocked her up
     
  3. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    all you can do is feel sorry for her. she fucked up. thats why they invented condoms
     
  4. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    i dunno i felt she was the one, in a way i wish i did knock her up

    but i guess time heals, earlier today i felt pretty emo but i think its getting better now
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That sucks...but at the same time it should be a wakeup call for you that she is flighty as hell. She was irresponsible and stupid enough to get pregnant by her ex and then they immediately feel they have to get married. Shit, sounds like you are better off. And I don't see how you need more closure than said situation.
     
  6. lets_talk

    lets_talk New Member

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    Oooh, that really sucks. Okay, look. I think you might need closure in this case. I mean, you want answers, you want to know what happened. I think you should see her, I mean how do you just never talk to her again? That would kill me, but that's just me. You could have a thicker skin. Not I. Anyway, unless you talk to her or at least acknowledge the situation with her, you won't get over this, at least not that quickly.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    She submitted to another man and allowed him to squirt his sperm in her, which resulted in her carrying this man's child. That's what happened.

    Its easy. You never talk to her again.

    If he wants to express his anger towards her, I don't see how that's a problem.

    But she isn't likely to accept responsibility for her actions, she is going to rationalize them and blame others.

    Cut all ties and move on.
     
  8. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Come on man....you don't really feel that way do you?? Ok so sure you'd like to not be hurting right now but look, this chick cheated on you while NOT using a condom and therefore exposed you to all the diseases out there. All of this without your consent while perhaps telling you she loved you. Not only that, she fucked someone else while dating you.

    How is you knocking her up supposed to fix all that shit??
    Time does heal and sometimes it can be a slow process. You can speed it up by getting proper rest, eating properly, exercising and putting yourself out there again. I think once you meet another woman you're interested in, you'll forget all about this one.
     
  9. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    like all other responses, you'll get over it over time. Eventually you'll realize she's no different than all the other cheating people out there. You need someone better.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    no, what it is is you're not happy with your life as it is, and saw her as a 'fix' for your unhappiness. What you havent had time to realize yet is that relationships dont fix unhappiness, and the relationship would most likely have self-destructed pretty quickly anyways.

    The both of you need to learn how to live alone. This is evidenced in her by the fact that she couldn't say no to her ex. Anyone willing to show her attention and pretend to love her will get between her legs. You're better off without her, not so much because she's crap, but more because you need to learn how to be happy by yourself.
     
  11. bs2100

    bs2100 New Member

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    You need closure when someone insanely close to you dies. Like a parent, sibling, child, or maybe pet. But a relationship that only lasted a few months isn't even close to needing closure.

    You're just feeling crappy because the relationship is over, you'll be over it in time.
     
  12. cd7

    cd7 how troublesome

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    thats funny, the exact same thing happened to me. i can only move forward with my life, hers is already set
     
  13. sunnyjim

    sunnyjim Cadillac Cruizer

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    i know how you feel man. i am in kinda the same situation.
     
  14. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    Oh, well that's really crappy of her. :hug: Obviously you really cared about her, you said you thought she was the one...and being betrayed by someone you trust can be so hurtful...but don't let this situation scar you too much. She already cheated on you, don't let her emotionally drag you through the mud too. You don't need to be with someone who won't be faithful, you're better than that. :hs:

    It doesn't lessen the suck factor of this situation any, but at least you know now that you can go out and find someone who will be faithful to you. Good Luck to you.
     
  15. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    ok wow thanks for the response guys, i know you are all 'strangers' but your support has really helped me (couldnt bring this up w/ family and my friends just told me to suck it up and move on)

    yeah at first i was devastated, i even had a dream where we met up and she told me in details how she messed around and then she said she wanted to get back

    i woke up mad at myself for f'ing myself in my own dream! shit it felt bad, almost as bad as hearing the news

    yeah its just been a week and i try to put it out of my mind but i cant help but ask myself if there were somethings i should have done differently (at first i wasnt taking her too seriously, i think i took my time w/her in the beginning for granted)

    she seemed like the girl of my dreams and now that i look back on it, i cant believe it happened at all, it seemed too good to be true, i guess that was the case

    i guess i feel this way because she was the only girl i loved and call me a dumbass (i know i would if i weren't me right now), but i think i still do

    i also feel like i'll never get a girl like her again (in fact to make things worse i only been in 3 other serious relationships all of them which i have been cheated on or they went back to their ex bf's)

    im the guy that always finished last (girls always call me cute and nice) yeah i could try to put up a front of being an ass but i wouldnt really be me than

    but shit f it, hopefully my experiences wont make me bitter and jaded to all girls (already feeling it now)

    also her friend emailed me and said that april (the girl) would call me when she feels better, course i'm at a loss what to do, part of me wants to cut all ties w/ her as suggested, another part wants me to tell her everything i feel about her, and a messed up part of me wants me to make her feel really bad
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2007
  16. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    btw, girls dont like asses either. The only reason it seems that way is because what they are attracted to - confidence - asses tend to have plenty of.

    So be a confident man, not an ass
     
  17. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    ok another thing i shoulda mentioned

    she never told her mom about until the last day we met (about 3 weeks ago)
    also we were eating lunch and i pointed out a cute kid playing and asked her what kinda kid she wanted (hypothetical small talk) and she said she wasnt ready for kids

    i know she's responsible because we had sex in the middle of feburary and the condom broke but i still came in her, she said she would go to the pharmacy

    so i dont know why she would let the ex knock her up but i guess theres no need to be a bitch about it, if she wants to treat me like shit i guess i shouldnt care about her anymore
     
  18. lets_talk

    lets_talk New Member

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    Well said Ameter. There is a fine line between being confident and being a complete jerk.
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    She slept with another man while she was dating you. You can find better.
     
  20. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.

    AND THANK THE LORD!! You would want another girl that that, why? Dispite any good qualities she may have had she cheated on you and got pregnant with someone else. You're better off staying away from chicks like that honey. :hs:

    If you stay true to who you are and don't let this situation make you all jaded and assholey towards women, then you WILL find a great girl. Just relax! You'll find her when you're ready. In the mean time, regroup from this past incident and take it as an opportunity to decide exactly what you do and don't want from your next relationship. Take care of your self :hsd:
     
  21. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    ok update on the situation


    i was finally making the moves to move on w/ things (just started a new kick ass career) and i was finally starting to hang w/ the boys again


    anyways i get a call during lunch today and its her
    she asks how i'm doing, etc... if i'm aware of the situation

    i try to be cordial and tell her congratulations (in the back of my mind i was thinking "w/ fucking up your life") we make small chat and i ask her when she's getting married...then she says she's not because she doesnt even love the guy and pretty much wants nothing to do w/ him

    so i was kinda annoyed she called since i learned a bunch of complicated stuff at work that morning (modulating rf frequencies, db leakage formulas, etc) and she pretty much drops the bomb and of course i instantly forget everything i learned

    i really didnt know what to say to her, i was just starting to get over her and she decides she wants to come in and f'up my life again and said she wants to see me on sunday

    of course i sure as hell dont want to go thru the shit she put me thru but theres still a lil part of me that wants to see her
     
  22. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    basically she's hoping you'll bend over and let her come back, etc, not even necessarily that she wants to, but she wants to know you would
     
  23. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    she testing you to see if you fall back in line

    what does this other guy do for a living?
     
  24. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    he's some chump, in all honesty i prob make more than both of them combined, dont get me wrong i'm not rich by any means and i never flaunted anything in front of her, i'm pretty much average in southern ca.

    so what do i do?
     
  25. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    you walk away and never talk to her again
     

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