OT'ers gimme an opinion

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jwork325, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. jwork325

    jwork325 New Member

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    Hey OT'ers, never really came in here but always lurking keeping myself entertained at work and laughed my ass off at some of the stuff in here today....all pretty much true...

    Anyways, I'll make this short enough, if you guys want details let me know but basically I've been hanging out with this girl I've known for awhile (not really friends or anything, just see each other once and awhile, run into each other, whatever). I've always thought she's attractive, but for whatever reason have been involved with someone or just enjoying being single and hitting the bars and stuff with friends. We were getting more and more flirty and playful type stuff, so we started hanging out and I found out she had a BF which she had broken up with. Anyways, were getting closer and closer and then after a couple weeks she tells me that she needs time to figure shit out. We've talked about stuff and were both pretty clear that we like each other, are attracted & what not, thats pretty clear to each of us. Understandable sort of (as far as women go...), dated the ex for a long time, I don't wanna be the rebound....then a week later gets back together with ex. The ex/whatever is not top-notch, abusive mentally and physically, but I'm like whatever. Normally I'd just entirely stop talking to her, but I have a habit of doing that...and while I know it's great game for me to just move on, I decided I would at least keep in touch with her and stuff.....

    So I'm not gonna get hung up on her or anything, gonna just keep having fun and doing whatever happens, but what do you guys think about the potential of slipping into the friendzone and dating someone later on? I learned early on as soon as you're in the friendszone you're done...but usually those relationships were where I wanted something that the other person didn't or vice versa....we were both pretty clear about how we felt about each other, and she was at the bar last night and of course we ended up real flirty and playing around all night. On the flipside I've had females tell me that their best relationships with guys have always been the ones that really were friends before anything else....scary thought.... Guess it's a little different for me since I've never dated/gotten involved with anyone who has a BF at the time....always straight up single girls, so I'm wondering if I'm being entirely stupid or if its worth a little maintence at least to keep up the relationship as is....dunno, thoughts OT'ers?
     
  2. fray

    fray New Member

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    i don't think it's friendzoned if there are feelings and there is no dating based on outside factors (i.e., still dating someone). That said, I wouldn't wait around for her, nor would I base any further actions on what she is doing or where this will put you in regard to the friendzone with her, because if she is sticking with the idiot, obviously she's got some stuff to work out and she chose to go back to him knowing how you felt about her.

    People will argue the friendzone point, I'm sure. But that is how my current relationship persisted for 15 years until we started dating a few years back.
     
  3. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    You're not friendzoned yet, but if you keep contact with her and see her often while she's dating this dude chances are you will be.

    I would just wish her luck with the b/f and tell her that if they ever breakup (which they probably will) to give you a ring.
    This way the ball is in her court, and you don't have the opportunity to get friendzoned since your technically not there. So when she breakup with this guy again I bet the first thing on her mind is "hey, I wonder what Jwork325 is upto".
     
  4. jwork325

    jwork325 New Member

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    Man my first real OT post and I guess I didn't create enough drama for a 15 page thread!

    DTR I liked your thought, I guess I don't really try to talk to her or go out of my way to call her or anything day to day...if I run into her I try to plant seeds, be just flirty enough to make her think....think that's still too dangerous? The whole fact that I'm trying to start a relationship or date someone with a BF is really fucking with my head here, thats definitely an area I've never ventured before.

    Silver, I agree shes got some things she needs to work out, everybody's got some sort of issue, I know I've had my own, so I don't think she can just make a decision as easily as we say it. Understandable to me....you say your current SO was friendzone for 15 yrs?
     
  5. fray

    fray New Member

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    No, I say we thought we were friendzoned. Herein lies (lays? fuck grammar) the difference. The feelings were always there, but the appearance to each other was that we were only friends and there was no shot. We hung out, talked about gf/bf issues with each other, etc. Granted we were not together on a regular basis for those years, but we did communicate fairly regulary and had periods of togetherness. No one ever tried anything (or was too blind to pick up on the signals), so just assumed that the other wasn't interested.
     

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