OT help needed

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MstngJosh, Apr 5, 2006.

  1. MstngJosh

    MstngJosh New Member

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    I have talked to this girl I work with only a few times, and wanna ask her out after work sometime. She mostly keeps to herself in the office and I'm thinking the only chance I have to talk to her is when I pass her in the hallways. Her desk is surrounded by the desks of other co-workers and my bosses. I thought about an email but decided against it. So all I'm doing now is waiting for the right time that I have a few minutes to talk to her. I don't wanna come on too strong though cause she is full asian, and I don't know if they are used to that. She has been in the US a couple years though.

    The few times that I have seen her in the hall greetings have been initiated by both of us. And she smiles back whenever this happens.

    I thought about having another coworker perhaps let her know that I am interested, but figured that I was too old for that and it might not work since we don't know each other very well.

    Help me OT. Give me thoughts and opinions.
     
  2. Foo Lyn Roo

    Foo Lyn Roo New Member

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    Definitely no email and definitely no co-worker intervention.
    It's lame, and very high school, not to mention great fodder
    for the office gossip chatter.

    just wait your time out, hang back a few mins, see if you can catch her on her way out for lunch or way in , in the morning.

    I don't know how the office works, but if she gets up to use the rest room, wait a few minutes, and then find a reason to walk so that you encounter her on her return trip (not TO the restroom, she might shrug you off cause she has to pee or worse!)
     
  3. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    That's a decent start but from experience, it can be really hard to get to know eachother that way.

    I'm at the beginning stages of a relationship with someone I met at work. I don't work in his department but sometimes in those cases you have to look for other ways to start communicating. Email is a great way to get to know eachother... Luckily they dont monitor it to aggressively since everyone does it. It's not the best idea for every office environment depending on how strict they are but if that was something that was considered then it must not be too out of the question. That's how we got to know eachother and we found out we are pretty much exactly alike in just about every way.

    Ours started out sending stupid jokes to eachother. It started out as group emails and slowly tapered to just us. He would reply to every email I sent him so I knew for awhile something was kind of up... :) My friend works in his department and while it would have been easy to have her talk to him I didn't really want to go that route either but she did help in other ways with setting up group lunches and things like that.

    I probably wouldn't start off as asking for something one on one since you both don't really know eachother or have had much interaction. Do you know anyone who knows her? I would suggest maybe doing a group lunch once a week or something. Even if you don't know someone who knows her you could set up group lunches and if you see her eating sometime alone or whatever invite her.
     
  4. MstngJosh

    MstngJosh New Member

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    Thanks you two for the advice. Anybody else feel free to chime in with experiences or advice.

    For the past month or so I have made attempts at getting to know her by passing her hallway or trying to time walking out of work at the same time. But it hasn't progressed very well. I've made sure not to appear everytime she leaves her desk.

    I will think about the email idea. Right now the group emails that I do get are not sent to her. The idea that I had was to send her an email out of the blue telling her that I've been trying to learn Japanese for the past few months, which I have been, and ask her a couple questions that I really do have about the language.

    There are a few people in the office who know her pretty well. I only talk to one of them regularly though. Right now I'm not even sure if she takes a lunch. She is there when I leave for mine, and there when I get back. I'm sure she is just waiting for me to ask her to lunch, hehe.
     

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