SRS OT, help me please

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bPol, Mar 17, 2010.

  1. bPol

    bPol OT Supporter

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    Pretty simple story:
    I made a huge mistake with my girlfriend, I did something stupid n lost all her trust. She won't talk to me, won't answer my calls or texts, and even when I try to go see her she'll leave as soon as she sees me. I can't take it. I can't sleep, I can't concentrate on the simplest shit, I'm on the verge of tears all day long, I feel sick all the time, I feel like there's no point to anything I do, food doesn't even have a taste anymore. I want to do something, I need to do something, but I don't even know how to start since she won't talk or listen to me. What can I do?


    cliffs: I'm depressed over a girl and it's ruining my life
     
  2. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Care to share with us what you did to lose her trust?

    The advice you receive will be dramatically different if you cheated on her as opposed to if you accidently ran over her cat and lied about it.
     
  3. bPol

    bPol OT Supporter

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    i told one of my buddies something about her that i definitely shouldn't have, and then he texted me about it when i was with her n she found out
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Can you give a little more detail so we can know if this is typical woman bullshit blowing it completely out or proportion or if it really is something you shouldn't have told your friend
     
  5. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    Without even knowing what you did, this is the advice I can give you:

    Since you really are into this girl, you need to find some way to communicate with her. The easiest way to do this is by letter. Since you've tried all other forms of communication, leave a letter in her mailbox/at her front door. She will read it out of pure curiosity. Give it some time to cool off after you leave this letter, then in a few days come back to her and ask if she is ready to sit down and talk about this.

    When you guys do talk, LET HER TALK THE ENTIRE TIME. Listen to what she is saying, let her get her point across. Understand that you made a huge mistake and don't just say it so that she'll start liking you again. You must mean it with your body language and tone as well. This is something that time will fix, as I don't know if it should be too big of a deal... unless you told your friend something about her sexual abilities.

    Good luck.
     
  6. Stina

    Stina No, I mentioned the bisque...

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    Yeah, give her space. Let her have her chick tantrum and gather her thoughts. In the meantime, write her an email or drop her a letter. Make it an engaging one - be honest, ask her about her feelings and politely request a response. Don't put pressure on her to communicate face to face until she cools off.

    It is really hard to answer only knowing that you disclosed some info you perhaps shouldn't have. If you're not willing to elaborate further, can you at least share whether or not you think she's overreacting about it? I wouldn't go around kissing her ass if she's blowing whatever it is out of proportion.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You are at her mercy. You violated her trust and guess what, she may not forgive you.

    The real question is, why did you betray her trust? What were you hoping to gain from this?
     
  8. bPol

    bPol OT Supporter

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    I dont really think she's over reacting..it was pretty messed up. Then again, if she did it to me, i'd still talk to her. But essentially, no I don't think she's overreacting
     
  9. bPol

    bPol OT Supporter

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    I'm not really sure why. I was scared and didn't know how to deal with a certain situation so I went to a friend about it. The situation was personal and between me n her and it shoulda stayed that way. I was trying to gain information on how to deal with it, how to make it easier on me, and overall make it easier on us.
     
  10. bPol

    bPol OT Supporter

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    ps. thanks to everyone so far for the suggestions.
     
  11. TheManLouisianaFace

    TheManLouisianaFace and decide!

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    tell her that, but not so bluntly, you don't want it to sound like it's her fault, but that you wanted to help, and didn't know what to do.
     
  12. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    If you truly want to understand this, you've got to put yourself back to the situation when you told your friend. What outcome were you hoping for? Were you honestly going to him for help on how to deal with a situation and/or were you looking for justification in leaving her? If this "personal" issue has to do with her and/or her health then you likely didn't want help in dealing with it but you wanted a reason to dump her.

    Be brutally honest with yourself....no matter how bad of a person you think this makes you. Just be honest with yourself about what you wanted to accomplish by telling your friend. Either you wanted to feel better about yourself, you wanted support in leaving her, you wanted to make fun of her or something like that.

    If you truly wanted help in dealing with this issue, why did your friend mention it in a text message which could easily be found by her?

    Something doesn't make sense about this situation to me.
     
  13. bPol

    bPol OT Supporter

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    no, i never thought about dumping her or leaving her. The issue has nothing to do with her health... in fact i'm kind of a part of it, and thats why i went to my friend. i didn't know how to handle the situation since its never happened to me before. i dunno why he texted me about it. maybe part of going to him was because i "wanted to feel better about myself," but that would only be cuz i was scared shitless about what was going on. has nothing to do with "support" in leaving her, i would never want to leave her. and no, it wasn't making fun of her at all. i didn't know how to handle the situation, was scared, and thought he'd be able to help me out.
     

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