OT, did I fuck up?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ACA, Dec 1, 2005.

  1. ACA

    ACA Sometimes I feel lonely at night OT Supporter

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    This girl I know tells me she really likes me, and I really like her. Last night she went to a concert, and her ex was the only sober one there besides her. Shes an honest girl so she told me about this even though I don't really mind if she talks to him.

    The problem is, shes not really over the other guy. He took her virginity and they were seeing eachother for a good while. She asks me if I'm waiting till things are over with him before I ask her out. So I tell her that yeah, its been on my mind and that a lotta people would probly agree that it doesn't feel right to date a girl that has another guy in the back of her mind. I said I really do want to be more than friends, but that I'm worried about that.

    After this she says she doesnt want me to even hug her until I decide weather I'm waiting or not. She seemed pretty upset. But it's not really fair to me if shes going to have another guy on her mind.

    OT, did I fuck up? Is there any way to salvage things if I screwed it all up?
     
  2. armond

    armond New Member

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    Hey man, it is hard to have a functioning relationship when another man is on your g/fs mind. Don't sweat it. You let her know why you weren't going to get into it with her, and she should respect at least your honesty!
     
  3. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Good point. However, while it is frustrating to date a girl that has feelings for someone else. The fastest way to get the other dude out of her head, is for you to get into her heart.

    And if she is responsable and mature, you shouldnt have to worry about cheating or anything.
     
  4. ACA

    ACA Sometimes I feel lonely at night OT Supporter

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    That's what I was thinking. She is very mature for her age from what I've seen. :highschool:, I know.

    What do I do now though. She seems upset. Do I give her space and wait till she comes back or call her up and try to solve the problem.
     
  5. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    i think she wants you to show interest. she needs someone to take her mind off her ex, and she might want you to "be a man" and sweep her away...... some gay shit liek that

    anyway i'd put the pressure on her. forget about her ex, he's probably a gimp anyway. show her who's she's dealing with here.....

    your cock is a weapon
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I think while she wants you to show her more attention, because it will show interest in her, you'd be a fool to do it. If I were you, I would tell her something like "You know, when I told you I was interested in you, I was being honest about it. You DO still have feelings for your ex, and I would be stupid to get involved with any woman who is essentially taken. But what you did was wrong - you won't touch me and are backing off. This is exactly what I knew would happen. Yeah, I like you, but until you understand that you are behaving in a disrespectful and immature way towards me you should understand I am not going to fall all over myself for you."

    Don't over explain. Tell her once. Then wait for her to respond. Stick to your guns. Oh yeaj, DO THIS IN PERSON not over the phone or email. Stand there and wait for her. Don't move - make her leave if she needs to (or if she is just being rude.)

    You need to let her know where you stand, let her know you won't tolerate being mis-treated, and let her know you expect a woman to give her best in ANY relationship.

    Will she like it? She won't act like she does, but she'll probably respect the self-control and self-respect you have for yourself, which will make her realize you are a real man.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2005
  7. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Good for you, for setting boundaries in this area. She is trying to put the pressure on you by telling you not to touch her. So here is what you do: Make it very clear that it is up to her to make the move to end things with the other guy, and ignore her until she does. This communicates that you are not going to persue her... you are the prize and she needs to meet you in your reality, not hers.

    Be the man... stick to your boundaries. It will increase your attractiveness to her.
     
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Agreed. 100%
     
  9. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    I'm agreeing with the two above me.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2005
  10. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    yes yes yes ^^
     
  11. Heyhey

    Heyhey New Member

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    agreed to the two mentioned
     
  12. ACA

    ACA Sometimes I feel lonely at night OT Supporter

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    Well everything seems to be fine now. We talked and she understands why I felt like I did, she was just upset to hear it. From what I've learned by talking to her, her attachment to him isn't really strong. It's just hard for girls to get over the first guy they slept with (from what ive seen), so hopefully I'll be helping her get over that.

    Thanks for the help!
     
  13. Jagrmaister

    Jagrmaister New Member

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    She wants her cake and wanted to eat it, too. Just be better than the last guy and she'll forget him sooner or later.
     
  14. c_K_c

    c_K_c Resident TranceAddict

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    gotta take a hard stance on this one..she will respect you down the line if you two hook up.
     
  15. c_K_c

    c_K_c Resident TranceAddict

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    maybe hard...but not that HARD...:mamoru: ...
     

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