:Opinion Needed: When should I make my move?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by alex__, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. alex__

    alex__ New Member

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    The girl i really fancy is going away at the end of this month, for 4 weeks...
    I have worked at the same place as her for about 5 weeks, but only 'with' her a few times during that period...

    The other night just the two of us closed up work. I feel we got much closer, as I got to know lots about her, that i dont know whether she would tell most people she works with. It was sort of stuff that implied she wanted to have a boyfriend..."i get so bored and lonely at home all by myself.." and " what do you do during the days?? are they as boring as mine?"

    I am already in a really comfortable working relationship with her, and i think she is into me as well (although i doubt as much as i am into her).

    What do you think i should do?

    - Try and set up a date with her before she goes away, and try and move to the next stage? or...

    - keep friendly contact and wait for her to get back for me to make my move.

    My dilemma is this: If i leave it until after she gets back, i will lose the really comfotable and open relationship that i feel came out the last time we worked together (2 nights ago). And then i will have to attempt to rignite the sparks, if you will.
    But, if i ask her out before, and all goes well, will she lose interest over the 4 weeks that we are apart, and come back asking herself if she really wanted to come back to a relationship.

    I cant stop thinking about her. Im losing sleep over just trying to think of ways to set up a date with her.

    Things are going well, but I feel i might be overthinking things too much and in too much of a hurry to move things along because i see this deadline that i just outlined.

    I just don't want to miss out on this opportunity. Damn her faimly for organising this trip!!
     
  2. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Id say ask her before the trip. The delema is that females think with emotion and males think with logic. So naturally I think what about the future and if she says no your job is basically fucked. She probably doesnt cross that with her mind at all. But Id still say if you want to ask her do it before the trip. That way when she comes back there will have been a long "trust test." If some comes back still wanting you, chances are she isn't fucking around.

    my 2 cents. Sorry if I sound sexist, there just my thoughts.
     
  3. You should've asked her out already by now. But all is not lost. The next time you see her, ask her how her weekend was. If she was home all alone doing nothing, tell her "how about I come over sometime and we can watch a movie or something?" Don't overthink it. It shouldn't sound so "official". Just be a bit nonchalant
     
  4. hom3lesshom3boy

    hom3lesshom3boy New Member

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    I say make your move as early as possible. To set up a relationship, then cut it off for 4 weeks while she's away will do a lot of damage to a new relationship. So you either do it NOW, or wait until after her trip.
     
  5. alex__

    alex__ New Member

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    This girl is shy around guys... so i dont want to be too aggressive and scare her off. But i think i will ask her before she goes away, just beacuse if she sais no, there is a 4 week break with no contact. And also, i can't freakin wait that long to know where i stand!
     
  6. shangrilarcadia

    shangrilarcadia A lady

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    You should plant the seed before she goes away, even if you start the actual dating when she gets back. IE: before she leaves, tell her something along the lines of "we should deffinately hang out when you get back"
     
  7. skelm

    skelm New Member

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    I personally disagree with all the guys around here saying ask her out as soon as possible.

    Don't tie the girl down for her trip, keep in touch with her and call her a couple of times and make sure she knows you are interested. Make her want to WORK to be with you, don't lie down all arms and jump straight into something. In the end if she feels like she is chasing you it will boost your confidance and make her more sure about the relationship.

    Once she comes back casually invite her out on a date (make sure she knows that it is a DATE so you don't fall into an awkward friendzone)... Once out on a date with her you will be able to read her better and make your moves.

    :) Hope this helps mate.
     
  8. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    asap
     
  9. skelm

    skelm New Member

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    Nice call.. Definately agree with this.
     
  10. alex__

    alex__ New Member

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    yeah, that does sound like a good sorta plan... and i think she already knows im interested in her, and i think she is interested in me.

    So i was thinking of asking her to the Australian Open (tennis) for a day. Just call her up, ask if she likes the tennis and would like to check it out with me. That isn't too full on, it will be casual, and we can have a few drinks and sit in the sun at an event, so there will always be something to look at or do...

    You rekkon that sounds like a good thing to ask her to, before she goes away...
    also, if it goes well on the day, and say i start holding her hand, or watever, and she is cool with that. Should i leave it at that, or try and make a move...
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I went to New Orleans very soon after my girlfriend and I started seeing each other. She went freaking nuts missing me: she was calling me every hour there for awhile until I started partying and turned off the phone. Her interest level was raised by the fact that she wanted me, but couldn't "have me" right then.

    Make them miss you - its one of the best weapons you have, especially if you are trying to get into a long-term relationship.

    If you see her socially before she leaves and can get her interested and attracted, the time apart can only help you.
     

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