SRS One of my biggest pet peeves.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BrokenHalo, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    When people don't listen. They just flat out will have nothing to do with hearing what you're actually saying. They only hear what they want to hear.

    Its annoying. And rude. And ignorant.

    I want to get a point across, to be heard. But they'll have none of it. I'm an idiot, my thoughts are stupid, I'm wrong about things that I know for a fact are true. Its bullshit.

    Its gotten to the point that this really bothers me. With anyone that does it. Honestly to the point where I'm utterly depressed and second guessing everything about myself. Enraged even.

    I feel like I'm stupid. Like I really do know nothing. Like all the experience that I have, all the degrees that I've earned, all the schooling that I've been through... they mean nothing because one person is too much of an asshole to open their fucking ears and listen.

    I've never once talked out of my ass in my life, but there are just certain places that I turn that people treat me as if they are somehow more knowledgeable than me on a particular subject. Even if they are not, and clearly show that they are not.

    Or when they tell me what I said, or what I know, or what I meant. They have no idea what is going through my head. How the fuck would they know?

    I'm gritting my teeth with anger at this very moment. This kind of behavior makes me angrier than I've ever been in my entire life. Its sad, actually.
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I think everyone wants to be heard. That's why I think people don't hear you because they are too busy thinking about how they are going to impress you with what they say. It just selfish and self-centered but unfortunatly all too common.

    What's that old saying, "Those who don't know, talk. Those who do know, don't talk." I've gotten to the point where if I find someone isn't listening to me or just wants to force their views on me, I'll just shut up and become completely unresponsive to them. Fuck em...

    What I hate worse tho....is people that talk all over you. Like when you aren't even finished saying what you are going to say and they jump in, full volume, talking. I want to smash their skulls. If it's a one time thing or a few time thing...I'll let it pass and move on. However, if they demonstrate a repeated pattern of doing this, I'll either compltely stop talking to them (like ever again) or become extremely rude and tell them to shut the fuck up...I'm talking here.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    What's an example, BrokenHalo?

    My father is even worse than a bad listener - he's an actively bad listener. I find it infuriating. I am always amazed at how skillfully he throws "red herrings" into a conversation. "Red herrings" are shiny distractions someone places in your path to get you off course.

    Here's a recent example. A little while ago, I was very in love with this girl who was beginning to distance herself from me. I was at that stage where you're wondering if it's all in your head or if it's true, if you're really about to lose something that sunny and warm. One night, I remember I was trying to talk to my dad about his drinking problem. Without missing a beat, he said, "But what you and Jane have is great!!" Not only was I frustrated that my words bounced off his ears. I was utterly distracted. But I was also impressed. He beelined straight to what I was most sensitive about. He didn't even transition! The last thing I said was "I think your drinking is damaging you." How surprised was I when he went straight from that to my relationship?
     
  4. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    I fucking hate that too.

    I know I like to talk a lot. And I like to debate. And I like to get into discussions about topics that I'm very passionate about. I consider myself a very literate and well educated person. I strive to educate myself further on any subjects that I might not be as informed on.

    But give me a fucking break. HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING. Don't just hear what you want to hear. Who knows, maybe I'll enlighten you if you'll shut your goddamn mouth for a minute.

    My fiancé interrupts me constantly when we're around his family (and mine come to think of it). Its irritating as shit, but I try to deal with it. When we're at home, he barely listens to me. Maybe I'm boring.
     
  5. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    Offhand, I can't think of any examples (well, I can think of one, but I'd rather not go there).

    But it happens to me all the time. In real life, online, on the phone, everywhere. I really think that its me thats the problem. Either I'm boring or people just don't care what I have to say.

    Really though, if you don't want to know what I have to say on a particular subject, then don't get into a debate with me. And if you do get into a debate with me, at least listen to what I'm fucking saying. I'm being courteous enough to fucking listen to you even though I think you're an idiot. At least pay me the same respect.

    Thats what its really about. Respect. Even if you don't like what the other person is saying, at least be open to it. Don't shut them out.

    JESUS CHRIST THATS INFURIATING TO ME.
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Doubt that you are boring...it's more likely IMO that he devalues you opinion. Why anyone would want to get married to someone they can't have a decent conversation with is beyond me. If I can't get respect from my SO in verbal communications, it's highly likely I won't get it in other areas either.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Brokenhalo :sad2: i think that i know what the problem is ,and me stating it will probably make you angry hopefully not, but for these people they think that you talk too much. Honestly when its TOO MUCH INFORMATION people will shut themselves up and close to whatever you are saying. They won't say that in front of you because that's rude. So what is going on?

    People are generally selfish, so if they hear something that is in their benefit you will get their attention. Say, do you want 100$ and you'll see all the ears,n eyes turn to you.

    Statistics show that less then 10% of the people is interested in politics, rather to all the sex,booze,drugs and everything that makes their life better.

    So in other words, its not for the 'general world improvement' to which they like to listen. But to those things that forfill their selfish needs.
     
  8. borazhasleftthebuilding

    borazhasleftthebuilding Lets Party OT Supporter

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    ya, i speak the fewest words possible cuz life has taught me that theyre not really listening anyways....couple days later they ask something, which had they been listening, theyd have known:o....really makes you wanna talk to them, yep
     

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