SRS One of my best childhood friends was murdered wednesday night.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by UNvisible, Oct 14, 2007.

  1. UNvisible

    UNvisible New Member

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    He was walking through a park when a homless bum ran through stabbing people. He stabbed one dude twice, and stabbed my friend twice. The police shot and killed him.

    This is my first experience with someone really close to me dying, and it's a terrible thing, I dont even know how I should feel. I dont know what to say to his wife, I dont know what do tell my self.

    /vent
     
  2. 00600

    00600 New Member

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    Remember the good times you had together, and the positive influence your friend had on you and the people around him.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    First of all my sincere condoleances towards the passing away of your best friend, second you may consider yourself blessed that you lived thru all these years so far without anyone close to you having passed away. Because you are new to it, guidance thru such a process and a little bit on what most likely is to happen might be helpfull. Its not unusual after the initial shock not to feel anything. It might be even up to 1 or 2 weeks before the realisation sets in.

    What i always tell to people is this. Imagine if you died instead of your friends, would you love to see your loved ones and family crying in tears and being in sorrow over your death for many many years to come? Of course not you would want them to be happy, and live their lives to the fullest, so instead of dying for your friend start living for him.

    He'll always be in your heart, and memories.

    As to his wife , you give her your sincere condoleances. Just say : if there's anything you want or need im here for you ok? You don't have to do anything out of your own means, you just have to be there for the family, and
    allow yourself to grieve for the loss of your friend, let it all out, if you aren't such an emotional person just try to flow along with the moment. And you can post how the procession went in here as a means of processing your emotions and feelings as well. Stick together with the family and friends and support eachother, after its all over, its time to pick up the pieces, glue them back together and more or less continue on with living your life. We are here for you :hug:
     
  4. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Grieve, man. Whatever you do. Cherish their life, their impact on others around them.. just don't hold it all in.

    Oh, and don't repeat my mistakes. I drowned my sorrows at the bottom of a bottle for a couple of years before I snapped out of it.
     
  5. heebdawg16

    heebdawg16 New Member

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    :hug: , man its a shitty feeling to lose someone close to you for the first time.


    I was fortunate enough to not have to deal with that until I was about 21. One of my really good friends killed herself in a drunk-driving accident. She was ALWAYS drinking more than she should have, and driving herself home. It was a huge problem, unfortunately, most of her other friends would be just as irresponsible about it. I would normally be out with her when she was drinking, and since I rarely ever drink, I would end up having to take her keys from her (often times I'd have to argue with her for an hour to get them from her), or I'd drive her car home for her.

    She ended up drinking so much one night to the point where she could barely walk. Yet somehow, her and two other people got into her car (a convertible mustang), and she tried to drive home. She fell asleep behind the wheel, and ended up hitting a tree head on at 80-100mph. One of her friends in the backseat wasnt wearing a seatbelt, she was ejected out of the car at 80+ mph, into another tree, and was killed. The guy in the passenger seat, who was the only one wearing a seatbelt, is paralyzed for life. And as for her, the police said that there was barely enough left to identify her at the scene. The engine was sitting where the drivers seat used to be.

    And now I'm stuck with this weird surreal feeling of disbelief/guilt/anger, even 3 years later. The last time I ever spoke with her was about 4 hours before this happened, over IM, and it was me telling her how concerned/upset I was at her over driving home drunk all the time (including the night before). She promised me she wouldnt drive home anymore if she drank too much, and she left to head out with some of our friends.

    I feel guilty that I didn't help convince her to take action about this problem sooner (I would talk to her about it all the time, but she had so many bad influences around her). I feel angry that she was out with a lot of my other friends, and NO ONE took her keys from her when she was so out of it that she could barely walk (she was falling flat on her face trying to move around the bar). And I am sad because I lost someone who I was friends with for most of my life, one of the nicest peoples I've ever met.

    Her brother (who I am also friends with) took it the hardest. For weeks after the accident, his mom told me that he would wake up in the middle of the night, call her cell phone, and leave her messages asking her why she wasn't answering and when she was coming home. This is a 25 year old guy, not a small child, and he just couldn't handle the fact that his sister wasn't coming home.


    Its tough losing someone so close to you, and its going to feel weird for a long time. One thing that might help, try to think about all of the good times, and hopefully you will realize that even on his short time on this earth, he lived a good life. You will grow stronger as a person after dealing with this, I know I have.
     

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